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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think there is so much bollocks advice on MN?

200 replies

TooOldForThisWhoCares · 21/01/2019 14:16

Some of the "advice" offered up on this website is just ridiculous at best and actually damaging at worst. If you are having huge issues for e.g with your child's
behaviour, fgs go to your gp or some kind of professional if possible. Same applies to many problems people put on here. Yes there is some good advice, but honestly it's often drowned out by complete and utter shite. Yes I'm sure I'll get a kicking for this but it just amazes me what people say to other, sometimes desperate, people on here.

OP posts:
DonCorleoneTheThird · 21/01/2019 16:10

Calling 111 about a health issue is far more sensible than asking random posters on Mumsnet but not half as attention-seeking interesting.

bollocks

If it' s not urgent, and your GP waiting time is around 3 weeks, it's worth asking for advice and be directed towards something sensible. In an ideal world, you would be able to see your GP when you need, and they would still do home visits. Our system is so far down the drain that we are nowhere near an ideal world.

Asking for opinion about horrendous period pain is one example. How do you think 111 is going to help?

Dahlietta · 21/01/2019 16:11

Damn you, TheHumanSatsuma, I made it almost to the end of the thread and nobody had yet posted about "Report the school to Ofsted". It actually says on the Oftsed website not to do this - I presume because of Mumsnet Grin

Meralia · 21/01/2019 16:14

When someone asks on here for advice regarding their baby/ toddler and their poor sleep, they get ‘hire a sleep trainer’. Yeah, cos everyone has a spare few hundred quid for one of those!

Mayrhofen · 21/01/2019 16:15

To think there is so much bollocks advice on MN?

YANBU, but also there is a lot of bollox posted on MN full stop.

I do enjoy a good trivial read though!

Hopelessromantic91 · 21/01/2019 16:16

It’s the general bitch hunting that goes on that troubles me.

People come on here for advice, I’m sure many are confused, anxious, maybe even desperate with actual problems.

Some of the comments in reply are worrying. Don’t get me wrong, there are some really helpful posters but the absolute hateful comments are disgraceful at times.

I know MN take trolling seriously, but even “helpful” advice is often a nasty comment disguised as a tip.

You don’t know the person you are responding to, you don’t know the FULL background - It’s impossible to get a backstory completely across online.

As in all situations of life, just be KINDER.

FrankieHeckisinTheMiddle · 21/01/2019 16:17

Posters who assume everyone lives in England with no concept of even Scotland’s very different legal, educational and nhs policies, drives me mad when people bang on about school governors and OFSTED, neither of which exist here.

Flyinggeese · 21/01/2019 16:17

OP I agree and think a little bit more thinking before posting would go a long way.

E.g. on the CF threads so many people reply with 'I would...' e.g. 'I would tell her to f off by text, copy in her husband and then block her on social media' tye of thing.

That's not real life - I hope! Most of the 'I would...' replies are IMO, what someone, in their head, fantasised about doing to make themselves feel better, before taking a more realistic approach. To offer these thoughts up as actual advice is often ludicrous.

feelingverylazytoday · 21/01/2019 16:20

'Show him this thread' can be very dodgy advice when the man in question is controlling.

justasking111 · 21/01/2019 16:21

It is a mixed bag on here, some good advice, some bad advice. You have to sift through it if you ask a question.

Sparklingbrook · 21/01/2019 16:22

People could say they are anything on here but they possibly aren't. You could invent yourself a whole new persona and important job if you wanted to fling advice about as fact.
Suggestions are sometimes helpful from people going through the same thing.
But actual change your life stuff because of what internet strangers say? I don't think so.

Original poster
TooOldForThisWhoCares · 21/01/2019 16:25

Max there is no need to "yawn" at me. I'm incredibly well aware of the failings of the health and particularly the mental health support system in this country and as I've said a few times, there is SOME good advice on here. I see desperate people sometimes given really awful advice and I think it's dangerous.

It's not as simple as "they'd have to be thick to take on some of the advice people post here" either. Some posters will take it as gospel and being "thick" doesn't mean people are not entitled to accurate and helpful advice. People post on MN because they don't know where else to turn sometimes.

OP posts:
ScreamingValenta · 21/01/2019 16:26

"Call in and arrange to work from home today" posted as advice in cases of adverse weather, sick children, malfunctioning cars etc. - when the poster doesn't have a clue what the OP's job is.

It's a Mumsnet myth that everyone can work from home in an emergency.

derxa · 21/01/2019 16:27

I know derxa. If it's anything more subtle and complicated (and interesting) than a yes/no black/white simple stereotype, people just refuse to understand it. Then they have the cheek to get offended if you then further explain, in good faith, what you were on about. hmm Thanks Gallicos I was a bit Hmm when someone said that language development in boys was purely down to socialisation. Everything has to be political on here. Science goes out the window.

Confusedbeetle · 21/01/2019 16:29

I agree entirely, there is some absolute bollocks on a daily basis. Some poster really should not be asking for professional advice in law, medicine et al from a load of mothers, even if they do know everything

ILoveMaxiBondi · 21/01/2019 16:30

Max there is no need to "yawn" at me. I'm incredibly well aware of the failings of the health and particularly the mental health support system in this country

So you know your comment in your initial post was bollocks then Grin

Toddlerteaplease · 21/01/2019 16:31

I'm a paediatric nurse and I ant bare the advice to co sleep with small babies. It's so unsafe!

mummyhaschangedhername · 21/01/2019 16:31

Hire a nanny
Hire a cleaner
Book yourself into a hotel
£100 isn't much

Only in Mumsnet

WitchesWeb · 21/01/2019 16:31

It’s the general bitch hunting that goes on that troubles me

Well this thread is doing the same.

AndhowcouldIeverrefuse · 21/01/2019 16:32

Has anyone mentioned batch cooking yet? Failing that, get a cleaner...

abbsisspartacus · 21/01/2019 16:33

Op yku have been vague as hell but i know the thread you mean x

Toddlerteaplease · 21/01/2019 16:35

Oh and home schooling a child at the drop of a hat. How many patents have the knowledge or time and commitment to do that.

Redglitter · 21/01/2019 16:38

The recommendations to report the slightest thing to 101. All this 'log it' advice drives me nuts. Thats not how the system works

Original poster
TooOldForThisWhoCares · 21/01/2019 16:40

If you say so Max. A GP is still better to potentially get anti depressants, for example, or at least be put on a waiting list for therapy, than to be told Vitamin B12 cured someone's sister's aunty of schizophrenia.

OP posts:
ILoveMaxiBondi · 21/01/2019 16:42

Someone said that B12 cured their sisters aunty of schizophrenia? Really? You’re making this shit up.

popehilarious · 21/01/2019 16:44

Change school
Log it with 101
Let your kids scream with tiredness or hunger ("be more flexible about their routines" in order to do something totally not worth it)
Cut down on buying coffees/ Netflix
Send the cf this simple message: something really self-righteous and passive-aggressive
Try freelancing