To think there is so much bollocks advice on MN?

[TooOldForThisWhoCares]

Some of the "advice" offered up on this website is just ridiculous at best and actually damaging at worst. If you are having huge issues for e.g with your child's
behaviour, fgs go to your gp or some kind of professional if possible. Same applies to many problems people put on here. Yes there is some good advice, but honestly it's often drowned out by complete and utter shite. Yes I'm sure I'll get a kicking for this but it just amazes me what people say to other, sometimes desperate, people on here.

"No is a complete sentence." Er maybe for people who don't have friends it is. There are better ways to communicate than rudely even when responding to rude people.

I think of mumsnet as like overhearing someone on a train. You need to take it with a pinch of salt but can overhear interesting/thought provoking things. It's obviously just people saying things on the fly to fill time, though!

So many posts diagnosing the posters children as on the spectrum when they are misbehaving too! In most cases they are just being little twats and need a good old telling off...

In most cases they are just being little twats and need a good old telling off.

I take it back OP. You’re right, MN is full of bollocks.

"I believe I'm on the spectrum"

I believe I fart clouds of roses and you're an attention seeker.

Is this a line?

No. You're not pregnant, you're an attention seeker.

"Should I go to A&E?"

If you're well enough to be pissing about on here then your ingrown toenail can probably wait.

In most cases they are just being little twats and need a good old telling off.

I'm including my own child in that statement!!*

Some kids genuinely are on the spectrum. Others are just naughty.

The 'advice' that always gets me is when people say 'LTB!' because he called you a rude name. I'm not not talking about constant insults,on a daily basis,where you are constantly being put down and criticised. I mean a once in a blue moon occurrence,in the heat of the moment,during an argument. Bloody hell,I'd have LTB within a a few months of being married to my exH if I'd taken that advice!

Of course some of the advice is going to be utter bollocks. It is given by ordinary mortals and sometimes we're wrong, a bit thick, having a funny day, deluded, out of touch etc.

Sometimes and more often than not I find, there are really helpful and useful words of advice, comfort, inspiration, understanding or factual pointers that make all the difference when you have no one else to ask.

The advice on housing is generally load of bollocks.

Homelessness, go to the council and they have a duty to house you, no not necessarily.

Go to the council and they will have to eventually give you council house, no can discharge their responsibility by placing you in private housing.

Go homeless and you will have to spend years in a b&b or hostel full of violent drug users and will eventually get housed miles away. I don't say this doesn't happen, but it isn't usual.

And as for some of the advice on benefits...

I was feeling very sorry for Collaborate earlier, who is genuinely a lawyer who is very helpful on here - they had essentially posted a "don't take advice on this from here get real life legal advice as it's complicated" reply and about 5mins later some utter muppet had done the old "oh your totally entitled to x,y,z!" Bollocks again. Why oh why answer a post on the LEGAL board if you know fuck all law?

The bollocks spouted about school admissions drives me bonkers too ;-)

In most cases they are just being little twats and need a good old telling off

I couldn't agree more. I have an autistic child (who carries half a jenga set and a ball of yarn at all times to play jenga demolition when they're expected to interact with other human people because they tic without the ball of fucking wool) and I get so frustrated with people asking me if their little darling is ASD because they kicked someone in the face at school. No love, your kid's a little shit, mine fucks about with a ball of wool.

While not an expert, I know enough about law to know that the legal advice on here is dangerous. The Dunning Kruger effect is real. I shudder to think what a doctor would make of the medical advice.

Nobody is entitled to anything on here, apart from freedom from personal attack, which you can report when you see it.

If you ask strangers for advice you'll get a mixed bag. How else could a free, anonymous forum possibly work? How are you suggesting it works?

Toddlerteaplease is planned co-sleeping following the guidelines on BASIS website unsafe? I thought it was at the very least far safer than risking accidental co-sleeping on a sofa / with a duvet etc when parents become totally exhausted! Genuinely happy to be corrected if you have a better resource.

I think there is some crap and irrelevant advice but some of the stuff that's been called crap on this thread isn't necessarily so. For example, yes not everyone has £200 for a sleep consultant or overnight nanny but some people may have the money and not know such a thing exists! Similarly packing service for moving house etc is surprisingly cheap (although still several hundred quid) but I never knew it existed til I saw it on here.

There's a fair bit of advice sought about bollocks, too. Either that or my yeah right filter is oversensitive., these days.

Some posters appear to advocate for their own entertainment, rather than the well-being of a poster.

E.g. "I found a suspicious letter addressed to my husband, what should I do?"

And someone will inevitably outright say "steam it open and tell us what it says", without regard for the poster's very real marriage. Because it's a more entertaining thing for the responder to learn more about the drama, than to push the OP towards a sensible, adult conversation.

The advice on housing is generally load of bollocks.

This and it's mostly outdated by about 20 years. 'Get on the list now!' Most places don't even have a list anymore, it's a points and bidding system and has been for a long time. But you also see similarly outdated thinking from OPs believing they still have a chance to 'get bumped to the top of the list' for having had 2 more kids in a 1 bed flat in London or because their doctor wrote a letter about their mental health, sadly.

And yy to benefits advice. Some even still use 'get Family Allowance'. Gawd, that went away years ago! 'Get tax credits!' Um, nope, you will get UC and in a couple of weeks or in some areas already, that applies even to families with 3+ children.

I have always though posting your important problem in AIBU 'for traffic' is a mistake.
Although having said that I would give the Relationships board a swerve too.

This thread seems a little short on content. Please allow me to throw in 'is a narcissist' and any number of MILs and SILs. Go!

Yes, there seem to be some MN regulars I notice on here a lot, the main ones that boil my piss are:

1. If your DH/OH does something wrong, even to a minor degree, LTB because clearly he is abusive for not loading the dishwasher when you asked him to.

1. If you are the first wife/first mother you can never be wrong. It is law. You could set your exes new partner on fire just for daring to say hello to your children and you would still get some posters agreeing with you.

1. Legal advice given by someone who's watched a bit if judge Judy and think they know more than the posters qualified solicitor.

1. Posters who refuse to listen to what the OP is telling them or base their replies on a complete assumption of the OPs situation which they have simply made up in their own heads.

1. Posters who say 'you wouldn't treat an adult like that' or tell the OP SS will be at their door because they've sent their child to their room for bad behavior or placed them on the naughty step as if we are supposed to treat children like we do our boss.

1. Posters who turn every single step parenting thread into a discussion about how much maintenance the father pays/how they have a 'DH problem' even if the original question was how many carrots should I give my stepson at dinner time.

"Pack his bags, dump them on the driveway and change the locks".

Yeah ok love, only if you want to get arrested...

Is the irony deliberate @WorraLiberty or do you really think that changing the locks on your door or throwing your husband out of the house are arrestable offences?

Call womens aid and it will magically make all your abuse problems go away counselling or just having a chat with a random health professional as a band aid for most problems. Then theres just the mums/people who simply have to find something to tell off. I can go to the pub at nine in the morning im an adult i dont need tar and feathering. Anyone who deviates from the norm will be punished. Also suicide hotlines stop suicidal thoughts dead in its tracks also the samaritans arent a bunch of volunteers and your experience can differ wildly. Tbh with extremely vunerable it does more harm than good. Helplines are a start not the be all and end all. People just like suggesting them because then they feel like they have done something.

My favourite are the ones (probably complete pack of lies) where the poster suggests a) giving your mum one of your spare houses, b) supporting all of your entirely fit-for-work CF extended family on your sole income “because that’s what family is for”.

Very few people have the kind of spare cash to afford to just hand out houses, and if you are one of those lucky people, your parents are probably pretty well off too given the class system. I can almost guarantee that the posters suggesting it don’t have a portfolio of spare properties to donate to needy relatives either. But hey if it makes the OP feel bad, it must be a good thing!

I've posted on legal threads with absolutely no legal knowledge or experience whatsoever and got called out for talking bollocks which was kind of fair enough. As a pp said, it was just idle musing to pass the time, like you might discuss an issue with friends in the pub. I didn't know we all had to be experts.