To think there is so much bollocks advice on MN?

[TooOldForThisWhoCares]

Some of the "advice" offered up on this website is just ridiculous at best and actually damaging at worst. If you are having huge issues for e.g with your child's
behaviour, fgs go to your gp or some kind of professional if possible. Same applies to many problems people put on here. Yes there is some good advice, but honestly it's often drowned out by complete and utter shite. Yes I'm sure I'll get a kicking for this but it just amazes me what people say to other, sometimes desperate, people on here.

You quite often get a reply to an op which has conjecture and as the thread develops it becomes 'fact' and all further replies are based upon things that aren't even in the OP. That irritates the life out of me. Just no.

The most annoying ones are the echo chambers like FWR and the fact that most posters are very brave behind a keyboard but wouldn’t say boo to a goose in real life. Plus the OP who gets treated as royalty and every word she says is taken as gospel

I think some people are very privileged and think things like hiring a nanny or working from home are options for everyone.

Very much so! Or have a spare room for an au pair. Or don't know what it's like to have no money or access to money (credit, people who can give you or loan you money and the like).

So many posts diagnosing the posters children as on the spectrum when they are misbehaving too! In most cases they are just being little twats and need a good old telling off

Yeah, but it's not just the children. So many adults are self diagnosed as 'on the spectrum' or ADHD or whatever other diagnosis they can fit themselves into, many more "could be depressed"

Sometimes, children are naughty and adults are arseholes. Happens.

Basically if you are an arse you might be austistic if under 50 or have dementia if over 50.

Also how much money can you make doing ironing anyway?

Ah...the ones I love best are the ones who excuse behaviour because they may have some sort of MH issue or on the spectrum when 9/10 they’re probably just arseholes.

I get hooked by the Health ones. I know I need to learn to ignore. Eg.:

OP: I have a new small health oddity that might turn out to be cancer. AIBU to plan my death and funeral?

YoT: Silly You don't even know you're ill. Do you have health anxiety?

OP: How dare you!

Poster1: Yeah, anybody in that situation would be utterly terrified. Of course OP should fear the worst and really wallow in those feelings.

Poster2: You must get it checked out immediately! You can never be too safe. Never stop thinking about it until you know for sure. Oh, and YoT is a cunt.

OP (5 days later): I had it checked and it was minor/nothing/easily treated.

Poster3: What a relief!

The worst ones are the posters in hysterical hatred against men. anything that is done by a male is negative, a red flag, abusive etc. Write exactly the same post but changing the gender around and they give completely different answers. It's half funny half infuriating. It hides the more reasonable answers.

Let's face it, some posters seem to have an horribly sad life and have no perspective on anything.

@yeoldetrout - I’ve been caught in a similar way on a health thread. Tried to reassure the OP by suggesting her symptoms were more than likely caused by something fairly innocent (but keep an eye and go to GP if they persisted etc). I got really abused by a couple of hysterical posters who insisted it could be life-threatening, really upset me and scared the shit out of the OP (and it was a bloody weekend when OP couldn’t even get to her GP if she’d wanted to!). Never again!!

Doncorleone - yes to those too. There seems to be no concept of working at relationships for some people - one false move and it’s LTB.

DonCorleone totally agree. I think when women are actually in abusive relationships the advice is very good. But for everyday relationship problems it’s usually incredibly destructive. It usually works from the assumption that the woman involved is a paragon of virtue and perfection who can do no wrong and the man is a waste of space and that it is impossible for men ever to justifiably feel badly treated, dissatisfied, neglected, taken for granted or stressed in a relationship. A lot of the advice seems like a surefire way to be divorced than to solve a problem. For example if a man said that his wife never spoke to him except to have a go at him, never listened and showed no interest in his life, a lot of responses would be ‘What a fucking bastard, it must be his fault for being boring and stupid. How dare he criticise you. Write out a list of his shortcomings. Demand a full apology and that he agrees never to criticise you again but he needs to admit and accept all his own shortcomings and apologise for them three times a week minimum’ rather than the more obvious ‘Well does he have a point’. A lot of posters do actively seem to enjoy breaking up another posters relationship and encouraging them to behave in really stupid ways. This is especially annoying when you know from other threads that the advisors personal life is a car crash, but they feel justified in advising other posters even though they’re clueless.

The thing about genders being reversed too is true. There was one the other day where an OP was demanding that her DP show her proof of whether or not he had bought and returned a cheap book and calling him a liar over it. If a woman posted the same, it would be branded straight up abuse. But she had loads of people supporting her and trotting out nonsense like ‘All men are born liars’ and insisting it was completely normal never to tell harmless white lies or be a bit evasive over insignificant stuff which is just not true. Everyone does it, usually daily, and anybody who claims they don’t should be far more of a worry than those who admit it.

I posted recently that I walked home from school at age 7 and that it was considered fine in the 70s. It was in response to someone posting that she'd been reported for her year 6 child walking home alone. I was supporting the op and commenting on how attitudes had changed rather than trying to outdo anyone or misery plopping whatever that is.

It's actually quite scary to read posters accusing a 4 or 5 year old boy to be a future rapist!

Well this is an Internet forum filled with random people from all walks of life. Some give good advice and some give bad. That's the way real life works too

Write exactly the same post but changing the gender around and they give completely different answers. It's half funny half infuriating

What's even funnier is when the same post is written without specifying the sexes of the parties involved, and people have no idea how to respond, because they don't know which the man and which is the woman and they go to great lengths to decipher which is which so they know how to respond.

I hate the victim-blaming on here. Someone posts for help, and there will always be some posters who jump on to helpfully inform them that they should have never got with the bloke/had the baby/got into debt. Or that they wouldn't stand for it/would never have made that mistake. Or picking them up on SPAG errors. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all as my old mum would say.

People love to dish out 'advice.' Ive been told that the job im training for has rubbish pay ( it dosn't) and that i should work in a role that gives me mental health issues....

Not sure what they were trying to achieve tbh
Probably advice dished out by a kept woman..ouch.

The most bizarre advice that gets repeated constantly is that there are 'evap' lines on pregnancy tests. I work in health care and had some recent training on pregnancy testing and asked about evaps - the trainers looked at me like I was a total idiot and said there was no such thing

Yes a lot of it is pretty ignorant and unrealistic (e.g. problem my job doesn't cover nursery fees answer just get a better job. Problem I have crippling anxiety, have tried everything answer: just go to the GP and get the anxiety sorted).

Some poster really should not be asking for professional advice in law, medicine et al from a load of mothers

Probably advice dished out by a kept woman..ouch.

Dear me.

I work in health care and had some recent training on pregnancy testing and asked about evaps - the trainers looked at me like I was a total idiot and said there was no such thing

You know someone will be along soon to tell you that healthcare workers aren't experts in these things and they don't really know much about it.

As a cop ‘log it with 101’ is my favourite, especially teamed with ‘you don’t have to press charges.’ This x100 if it’s in relation to any kind of domestic violence or abuse.

I think sometimes people have watched too much Law and Order or Chicago PD but it doesn’t quite work that way in the UK. Chances are here if you mention the above someone will be round to lock your DH up whether you sanction it or not.

The “press charges” thing drives me insane too. Have these people never heard of a Procurator Fiscal or the CPS? Even the police don’t “press charges” never mind aggrieved randoms with an axe to grind.

Confusedbeetle: I agree entirely, there is some absolute bollocks on a daily basis. Some poster really should not be asking for professional advice in law, medicine et al from a load of mothers, even if they do know everything

Because "mothers" know nothing and could not possibly be doctors or lawyers. Do you think before you type?

I quite like the relationship advice. It's nice to have a corner of the internet telling women they don't have to put up with shit. There's plenty willing to tell women to just suck it up, be nice, men just don't see dirt etc elsewhere.