To think there is so much bollocks advice on MN?

[TooOldForThisWhoCares]

Some of the "advice" offered up on this website is just ridiculous at best and actually damaging at worst. If you are having huge issues for e.g with your child's
behaviour, fgs go to your gp or some kind of professional if possible. Same applies to many problems people put on here. Yes there is some good advice, but honestly it's often drowned out by complete and utter shite. Yes I'm sure I'll get a kicking for this but it just amazes me what people say to other, sometimes desperate, people on here.

I'm always sceptical about what people think social services are there for. They deal with children who need them, not just those whose parents don't live up to Mumsnet standards. I have many, many friends and family members who work in child protection or in a similar role with young children. They deal on a daily basis with kids whose parents may have drug, alcohol or mental health issues and have suffered severe neglect or abuse.
If an otherwise wonderful parent gives their kid a smack for being naughty it is actually very, very low on their radar.

MN can be a great forum but it can also give a very skewed view of the world. I always think the advice is akin to walking into the nearest supermarket or pub and asking the first 40 strangers you meet. They would all give input based on their experience in life which isn't necessarily a good thing.

StateofIndependence Imo, something like "I wonder if it's legal to do x, y or z" is fair enough, whereas "Trust me OP, you can DEFINITELY do thing that's actually illegal" should be an instant ban from the site.

”I've posted on legal threads with absolutely no legal knowledge or experience whatsoever and got called out for talking bollocks which was kind of fair enough. As a pp said, it was just idle musing to pass the time, like you might discuss an issue with friends in the pub. I didn't know we all had to be experts.”

If the post is clear that you are musing; wondering if the law says x y z, then no harm.

But frighteningly often, people post saying definitively that the legal situation is x y z, with no caveat or indication that they are, in fact, clueless. Incredibly irresponsible.

Free advice, you get what you pay for.

1Redacted1

I agree that AIBU should be binned. I saw one today, the op said she knew she was BU and asked for help in overcoming those feelings.
Most posters gave her a hard time, completely ignored the opening post, and were making stuff up.
She probably should have posted somewhere else but it was really frustrating reading all the shit from just plain nasty people

There can be great advice, there can be poor advice, there can be advice which is based on the poster's experience and so is sincere but may not transfer.

My personal 'pet hate' advice is on school threads when you get advice like:

• demand a meeting with the head
• turn up at school and demand to see someone that morning because then they can't turn you away (schools can and do)
• find a way to make it safeguarding because then you get listened to (reality - a decision is made if it is safeguarding or not)
• call the local authority/ofsted over trivial matters like 'my DC had a detention for talking but they say they only asked a question'
• write a letter to the governing body without having had a chat with the teacher involved
• take complaint as high as you can because it shows you're serious

In reality, most things can be resolved by a parent politely calling the school, having a civil conversation with the relevant member of staff, being open to the fact that maybe their child has given half the story, and working with the view that the situation needs resolving in a positive, non-confrontation way for everyone.

You are ridiculous if you come to MN expexting expert advice...

Love the solidarity shown though usually.

We are all human at the end of the day.

None of us have the answer.

In no particular order:

get your ducks in a row
LTB
Ask your HV
Call Women's Aid because they will wave magic wand
The fee half hour of solicitor gold dust

That's just off the top of my head

”You are ridiculous if you come to MN expexting expert advice...”

Often people don’t necessarily expect expert advice, but if someone posts giving definitive legal advice as if they are an expert, then the OP or one of the thousands of people reading might actually believe it to be expert advice.

Take a look at the thread about the school and the op's DS phone, some of the advice is complete and utter bollocks

Sometimes I respond to threads in legal, not often because I do that all day long, but mostly because the OP doesn’t want the reality, they just want someone to back them up.
Tack room is mostly spot on though
Otherwise...
LTB
Have a spa day
Book your free half hour with a solicitor
Consult a different solicitor
Log it with 101
Change the locks
And my favourite!!
Have some wine 😊

Is the irony deliberate @WorraLiberty or do you really think that changing the locks on your door or throwing your husband out of the house are arrestable offences?

If the husband has a right to occupy he can force entry. If you oppose that physically you face arrest. The position can of course be different when court orders have been made, but that’s not the scenario.

And yes, if somebody over 50 is a cow to you they probably have dementia. If somebody under 50 is a cow to you, they are either autistic or (if they have offspring of any age up to and including 18) post-natal depression.

No, some people are just cows.

I have noticed like most online forums, reddit etc (if not all) MN can be quite the echo chamber. And, a dissenting voice often gets flamed. I've also noticed, the first response to a post is usually a good indicator as to where the majority will rule. It's very fascinating.

Still a fun place to hang out though, if you don't take it too seriously. Some threads are quite thought provoking. Some are quite heartfelt with compassionate responses. Some, are down right brutal. Just like life, I
suppose!

I ( and others I expect) have suggested WA and Freedom Programme. Not as a magic wand. Or as a suggestion to LTB. But as a source of advice and information. Because someone pointed me in that direction previously. And my life was turned around.

Ok I’ll confess to being an idiot but I discovered MN when randomly googling for advice (I’m not in the UK and MN is not known here) and just posted on AIBU because it’s on the front page and everything else is hidden!

I do feel sorry for people who might be vulnerable or isolated and get (a) awful advice, (b) torn to shreds or (c) both!

The health and weight loss advice on here is bloody awful too. And people spouting it as total fact when it’s utter bollocks.

I sympathise OP, I do get what you are saying but on the whole I think folk mean well and as a new mum, I did manage to pull some helpful gems from the turds —got better stuff from Netmums though—

Slightly off topic, but it’s the misery ploppers that make me rage. Poster is justified about DM/DF being a twat.

Another poster rolls on “at least you have a mum, be grateful for every moment with her as you never know when it’s your last”.

Christ

“Someone shouted out in my child’s maths class”

“Ring ofsted, complain to the governors, demand a meeting with the Headteacher, get the local paper in and put it all on social media and then do the same every hour on the hour”

Yes but I think it's really that people share stuff in the wrong place. Sometimes it's clearly something they need to talk to their gp hv about. Then they get some good advice interspersed with some really cutting remarks, highly inappropriate and I sometimes worry for the welfare of the op! I've saw this only yesterday and found it quite distressing. It's sad that some don't have real people to talk to and Mumsnet is their only option.

The misery ploppers always are trying to outdo each other too.

I walked to school and back alone when I was 10

Well I walked 3 miles there and back when I was 7

Well I waked 5 miles there and back, and it rained every single day AND I didn't even have shoes

It's like they always have to go one better (or should that be one worse lol)

cricketmum84
You think that's bad.

Once I went to a funeral, walked 15 miles there over broken glass wearing no shoes, only for the vicar to be mauled by a giant wolf who was trying to attack us all.
I didn't post on MN looking for sympathy though. I spent 4 hours doing emergency first aid to everyone because calling an ambulance for severed limbs would be a gross misuse of NHS resources.

sorry OP, I couldn't resist. As we were on the thread

I think some people are very privileged and think things like hiring a nanny or working from home are options for everyone.

Oh the ‘you get to stay in the house until the children are 18 and he has to pay the mortgage’ is the one that really gets me. No, no, no, no!