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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Going to shop and leaving baby.

97 replies

ManaPana · 21/01/2019 08:23

Just had a discussion with DH.

He's got the car, DS has a fever, I was having a bit of a moan as he was meant to do shopping yesterday. I looked in the fridge and he didn't go. Not a big deal, he usually does it and his dad came round unannounced, plus Sunday shopping. It slipped his mind.

I said I need some food. DS has a temperature. I'm exhausted. I'll get a pizza takeaway.

He said why don't I just leave DS home for 5 mins whilst I nip to the shop (realistically this would probably take 10 mins).

I'm shocked he would leave a 13 week old baby at home on his own. If he woke up and nobody was there he could be left screaming for 10 or more minutes. What if there was a fire? (Unlikely but could happen), our house was burgled, or he had a car accident? Again all unlikely but possible!

AIBU to be really nervous about his way of thinking? To think it's bad he even suggested this?

OP posts:
MsPavlichenko · 21/01/2019 08:26

No. You are not. He is.

Jamiefraserskilt · 21/01/2019 08:27

Home delivery.
No, you don't leave a baby home alone, that's just ludicrous.

Original poster
ManaPana · 21/01/2019 08:28

In my head, it's a really big deal to leave a tiny baby home on his own. The midwife said he isn't to sleep away from me for the first 6 months. I don't even spend more than 2 minutes in the shower when I'm on my own with him because he's a needy baby (aren't they all!) and hates to be on his own if he wakes up. I'm upset DH thinks this is okay to do. I can't imagine doing it.

OP posts:
Onescaredmuma · 21/01/2019 08:28

Yes that was a seriously bad call. I think the telling bit would be how he reacted when you said of course you wouldn't be doing that. If he had a serious brain fart moment and was embarrassed it might be a one off but if he defended himself that's a completely different situation.

Original poster
ManaPana · 21/01/2019 08:29

@Onescaredmuma he just said fair enough if you're not comfortable, but I'm sure he'd be fine.

OP posts:
SamBaileys · 21/01/2019 08:29

Yes, I think its bad that he even suggested it.

Magpiefeather · 21/01/2019 08:34

Yeah that’s not okay. Anything could happen. Make sure your DH wouldn’t do this if the roles were reversed!

Onescaredmuma · 21/01/2019 08:34

Sorry then he's unreasonable would he never leave baby alone because you are uncomfortable with it or do you think he feel it was OK to leave baby as He feels comfortable with it. Personally I wouldn't feel comfortable leaving baby with someone who might make that decision.

LL83 · 21/01/2019 08:35

I wouldn't do it, but I understand why he would consider it. He is respecting your opinion on this which is the important thing.

Seline · 21/01/2019 08:36

I know people who have but I wouldn't do it. Bad idea.

Original poster
ManaPana · 21/01/2019 08:37

I think the fact that he's got an on and off fever (thought it was his jabs, but looks like he has a cold now) makes it even worse...

OP posts:
2019Dancerz · 21/01/2019 08:38

Well he’s laying the groundwork for not being expected to look after his own baby any time soon.

LL83 · 21/01/2019 08:38

For the first 6 months baby should sleep in the same room as you overnight, you can let them nap in another room.

VoteForPedrosLlama · 21/01/2019 08:38

It's concerning that he thinks this is ok.

2019Dancerz · 21/01/2019 08:38

That’s not what the guidelines say LL83, what has given you that idea??

Original poster
ManaPana · 21/01/2019 08:40

@LL83 I was told by HV and midwife that they're to sleep in same room as you day AND night. It's okay for a few minutes but it's my personal choice not to be away from him for too long until he's 6 months. I certainly wouldn't leave the house without him.

OP posts:
Twickerhun · 21/01/2019 08:42

I can understand the temptation but no way should you leave the baby.
And yes baby doesneed to nap In The same room as you.

putthewashinginthedryer · 21/01/2019 08:43

So now you don't trust him alone with the baby and can never leave the house without your child. How convenient for DH.

Bumblebee39 · 21/01/2019 08:45

Since when were they meant to nap in the same room as you? How are you meant to clean the house or have a shower?

Jackshouse · 21/01/2019 08:45

For the first 6 months ALL sleeps need to be in a room with an adult. ‘Cot death’ does not just happen on a night time.

No you shouldn’t leave a baby alone in the house.

ApolloandDaphne · 21/01/2019 08:47

Of course you shouldn't leave him. However if your shop is fairly close i would wrap him up warmly, pop him in the pram and take him out. The cool fresh air may be good for you both. Taking him out won't make him worse and you might enjoy being out.

Seline · 21/01/2019 08:47

I wouldn't leave the room for hours but as someone else said, how are you supposed to shower or go to the loo, or cook something to eat?

TheWernethWife · 21/01/2019 08:47

How could getting some shopping "slipped his mind" - shops are open for about 6 hours on Sunday, plenty of time for him to chat with his dad and still buy food.

perfectstorm · 21/01/2019 08:51

Insane suggestion on his part. Completely insane.

Hope the takeaway is delicious, and sorry you're having a tough day.

Spam88 · 21/01/2019 08:52

The same guidelines apply to naps and nighttime sleep, so yes all naps should also be in the same room as you.

OP, I think you need to have a conversation with your DH about the fact it would be completely unacceptable to leave your son home on his own, however short a time it is for.

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