To think DHs sister is a bridezilla?

[ReginaGeorge2nd]

If I’m honest...we have never got on. As a matter of fact, I have never got on with his entire family but that’s a thread in itself.

She is getting married in April and has requested me to:

1. Not to wear a wig (my hair is super thin and balding and makes me super uncomfortable so I tend to wear proper, human hair wigs in public/to occasions- I’m talking a decent one, not a green Mohawk from the joke shop)
2. Wear a dress of her choosing (not a bridesmaid or part of the wedding party in any form) because she doesn’t like my “fashion sense”. I don’t dress like a cheap hooker, but I’m not a fussy old fashioned type either

As DH has insisted I’m part of the wedding photos she feels she has a right to demand these things

AIBU?

The comment about your dress sense is incredibly rude. But the wig.... !?

Wow. I'm actually speechless.

I really wouldn't bother going at all. She obviously doesn't like you as much as you don't like her.

I think I'd just not go.

Feel sorry for the poor man she's marrying.

I would go along with the dress thing if it was the only request and I liked it. But if I didn't then no, as a non-bridesmaid I wouldn't wear it.

She's trying to make you look ugly. And her way of doing that is to remove what makes you feel comfortable. I'd be wearing my wig - even if I hadn't told her about it. Just agree now to keep the peace and wear it on the day if you don't want to cause a scene. She'll probably ruin her own photos with her miserable face if you do that.

Oooooor! Could you afford hair extensions to be put in for the day? In all seriousness - she has no right to tell you what to do with your own hair! I'm torn between wanting you to tell her to fuck off and wanting you to just pretend to go along with it to annoy her on the day when you don't.

It hardly requires a degree in forensic psychology.

Sister in law is a raging bitch in part because she is the parents’ favourite. Everyone is expected to pander to her every want because otherwise she throws a tantrum, so the parents give her what she wants and expect her brother, the OP’s husband, to do likewise. Sister in law doesn’t like OP because OP is wise to her, gives her the side-eye when she strops, and generally fails to fall to her knees. Wedding is impending and the princess gets what the princess wants, in large part because princess’s parents are frightened of her tantrums.

The OP and the OP’s husband should just not go. It’s going to be a shit-show anyway, and if the brother wants to see his sister married there’ll be several more opportunities.

I wouldn't go tbh OP. Just send your bloke on his way if he wants.

She's not being a bridezilla she's being deliberately cruel to you. Tell her to fuck off.

It does sound like she doesn't want you in the wedding photos, or quite possibly the wedding in general, your husband quite rightly wants you to be in the photos, so she's issued these demands to either get you to refuse to come or to humiliate you. Just hideous.

You already have a bad relationship with the in-laws and I think whatever you do you won't be able to win so you may as well not go to the wedding as I think if you do go you'll either feel horribly uncomfortable if you go with the demands, or there could be a row if you ignore them.

I'm sure your husband feels caught in the middle but in this case his sister is being nasty and he should be on your side.

I’m sorry but why is your dh so concerned with how his clearly toxic family view you? He should be more concerned with how YOU view his awful family!

Your dh clearly loves you and thinks you are beautiful, so he should have shut his sisters cruel and nasty requests down immediately! Refusing to attend if she doesn’t apologise/ retract her cruel demands!

It honestly reads like one of the Ugly sisters is getting married, jealous of Cinderella they try to sabotage your outfit as well as how you look! I bet you will look gorgeous and she feels threatened by your ability to outshine her!

Sorry, what? Is she for real?

Of course she's a brideszilla. Well actually it sounds like she's just a cunt.

The only thing, she could say, is don’t wear a particular colour because of her colour scheme/bridesmaid dresses.
No she couldn't. Not unless she's offering to pay for a dress for you.

I'd decline the invitation and, if asked why, I'd tell her.
And your DH needs to support you properly, not be worrying about the 'grief' from his parents or 'tarnishing their view' of you further. Who cares what people like that think of you?

My alternative answer is to go, and wear something that is your fashion sense” turned up to 11, with a green Mohawk from the joke shop.

I think calling her bridezilla would be harsh on the term!

Agree. Let her buy you a dress, then turn up in whatever you want and watch her seethe

She sounds like bitch and I wouldn't attend or I would rebel. If you are going wear a wig if that's what makes you comfortable, wear what you want. This isn't someone having different tastes, it's cruel and she is trying to bully you. I would turn up in a black dress and black wig. I would probably dress like Wednesday Adams. I loved seeing all my guests outfits when I got married and it looked good in the photos because of the different colours.

Frankly any man who wouldnt immediately defend his wife in these circumstances is not much of a husband.

^^This! I also think that under these circumstances a decent husband would himself refuse to go!

Think I'd be too upset about those requests to attend. She's downright wicked.

Just agree, but go wearing whatever you want in whatever wig you want and say you 'changed your mind last min'. What can she do about it🤣

Seriously though, why is she so worried about what you do!?

I understand your post, OP. Your DH is being supportive by insisting you are in the wedding pics. He obviously knows they are trying to squeeze you out and is standing by you. Fair play to him.

His next move should be to say you will choose your own outfit, thanks, like every other guest at the wedding. If there is any question of you not being included in the photos they can count him out as well, since he won’t be posing for any photos without you.

She is trying to undermine you, the bitch.

Also 'the grief off his parents, doesn’t want to tarnish their view of me further etc' ....

I am 100% sure this says more about your DH sister than it does about you, and if they don't see that then see they really worth getting close to? 🤔

I'm not clear why your DH has "insisted" that you be in the wedding party photos? Isn't that usually just the B&G, ushers, bridesmaids and parents and then there are additional photos with all of the guests?

If I am understanding correctly then I CAN sort of see her point that she might want your dress not to clash/stand out...

But the demand on the wig is deeply nasty.

I would refuse to go.

I’d also message the bride and in-laws as to why I was refusing the invite.

If anyone asked me why I was not attending, I’d tell them too. There’s nothing shameful in the truth.

No reasonable person would agree with SiL.

V V cruel.

I'm not clear why your DH has "insisted" that you be in the wedding party photos? Isn't that usually just the B&G, ushers, bridesmaids and parents and then there are additional photos with all of the guests?

Yes, I wondered about that. It really ain’t for your DH to insist anything at her wedding. Is she pissed off about that?

Of course she's not a Bridezilla.....

She's just nasty.

Don't go - his family sound awful.

She has no right at all to dictate what she has what a horrible woman

Then the bitch can uninvite you and do you a HUGE favour. I can't believe the cheek of some people. And I'm also pissed already today so that probably doesn't help😃😃😃

Sorry OP those requests sound nasty rather than controlling to me. Like she wants you to be uncomfortable and try and humiliate you.

Personally, I would flat out refuse the requests as being utterly bizarre and if anything further came (from SIL or PIL) from it I just wouldn't go.

She’s a cruel bitch.

In fact I can’t believe someone could be so utterly un-self aware to not know their behaviour is completely beyond the realms of normal civilised human behaviour.

Please forward this thread to her!

As for your DH, I’d be pretty disappointed in him as well. He should have absolutely told her straight away that her behaviour is hideous and he will have nothing more to do with her until she apologises profusely!

DH is siding with me on this but is obviously in difficult position it’s his sister, the grief off his parents, doesn’t want to tarnish their view of me further

What about your opinion of his family and the awful way they are treating you, it is vindictive, is he at all concerned about that? Or just happy to let you act as a human shield for the amount of shit they would rain down on him.

I have a very lovely, kind niece who has lost her hair due to alopecia and wears wigs everyday, when her sister got married the bride arranged a specialist hairdresser to travel from two hours away for the wedding so my niece could have her wig styled properly for the day. She wanted her to be relaxed and not feel self conscious in the wedding pics. That is how family treat each other, not the bullshit that you have to put up with. I say don't go to the wedding and don't bother to explain why, these people know exactly what they are doing and do not care that they are hurting you.