To think DHs sister is a bridezilla?

[ReginaGeorge2nd]

If I’m honest...we have never got on. As a matter of fact, I have never got on with his entire family but that’s a thread in itself.

She is getting married in April and has requested me to:

1. Not to wear a wig (my hair is super thin and balding and makes me super uncomfortable so I tend to wear proper, human hair wigs in public/to occasions- I’m talking a decent one, not a green Mohawk from the joke shop)
2. Wear a dress of her choosing (not a bridesmaid or part of the wedding party in any form) because she doesn’t like my “fashion sense”. I don’t dress like a cheap hooker, but I’m not a fussy old fashioned type either

As DH has insisted I’m part of the wedding photos she feels she has a right to demand these things

AIBU?

My first thought was that I would refuse to go, but maybe that’s what she wants?!

Surely her family can see she is being incredible rude dictating what someone who isn’t her bridesmaid, wears!?

What sort of things do you normally wear-just out of interest!

She is being outrageous. She needs to know that you will be wearing your wig and an outfit of your choosing and that is the end of the matter. .

She's a complete nutcase.

Is there a drip feed coming, like your look channels Melisandre or something?

Does she know that your wigs are conventional? Or does she envision a hen party pink nylon wig?

It's horrible of her to want to choose your dress, but why does she want to? What dress would you have worn?

Speaking as an ex goth, I could very easily see how the look I might have had in mind for SIL's wedding at one point in my life could have raised eyebrows!

Wear white.

I think the thing about the wig, is just cruel.
You are obviously more attractive than her. If she’s so insecure as the bride on her wedding day that she can’t risk being upstaged by her sil ( dressing like a normal guest) then that’s her problem.

DH's parents are supporting her? Has he sat down with them and asked how anyone could possibly justify the wig request? Unless there is something particularly outrageous about your wigs, this just seems cruel.

Why isn't your DH concerned about tarnishing your view of them further? Very weird controlling behaviour and he needs to tell them that.

Tell her that’s fine but you’ll be needing a hairdresser that specialises in the type of hair and the problems you have on the day and you’ll be happy to wear a dress of her choosing.

Oh and she’s paying for and sourcing it all.

Dictating the clothes = bridezilla
Dictating the wig = odious bitch

He is only caught in the middle if he chooses to be. Frankly any man who wouldnt immediately defend his wife in these circumstances is not much of a husband.

The wig part is absolutely disgusting. The dress, rude and cheeky, but the wig just vile. I'm bald at the moment (chemo) and while I don't want a wig, I am hugely dependent on my hats. I hate feeling that everyone can see the wispy remnants of what used to be nice, thick hair. It's such a vulnerable feeling. You have gorgeous, human, natural wigs and she doesn't want you in one - and she wants to dictate your dress choices?

I suspect you are a million times better looking than she is and she wants to sabotage that as much as she humanly can, frankly.

Your DH needs to fucking get a clue. And if I were you, I'd not go. Why do they get to bully and humiliate you, while he meekly enables?

So what if the SIL is using this to try to push OP into not attending? It sounds like it won’t be much fun with the ILs’ attitude and apparent dislike of her. Sometimes giving someone what they actually want/don’t have the guts or courtesy to acknowledge can work well for you too.

OP if I were you I’d politely decline the invitation to spend the day with the witch and do something I’d actually enjoy.

I predict her marriage will be a short one

But your PIL must realise the SIL’s demands of you are out of order? Honestly, I wouldn’t fucking go through the wedding if that’s what they’re like.

This is an excellent opportunity for you DH to grow a pair. Seriously, he needs to tell his sister that you're both delighted to be attending her wedding but that she can not dictate how you will dress. And he needs to hold that line. If she keeps pushing, it's his job to push back. You should not have to negotiate a position with her. It's your DH's job to have your back.

Do you really want to be part of this person's wedding day? Doesn't really sound like much fun

I would definitely find something more fun to do with people I liked and respected.

I reckon you say yes to everything, pretend to go along with it, and then on the day turn up in your wig and what you'd like to wear anyway.

The bride can't make a scene about it without showing herself up, as you look perfectly normal to everyone else there, but you and her know what's happened. Bonus points if you manage to smile directly at her...

1 (a) The OP’s husband is Scapegoat. OP’s sister in law is Golden Child. To what extent to you agree with this statement (10 marks)? You may refer to the OP’s husband’s unwillingness to challenge his parents or any other supporting evidence.

(b) The OP’s sister in law is a raging bitch. Discuss, with appropriate examples, the validity of this statement (10 marks).

(c) The OP should stay at home. Yes or No? (10 marks). Hint: do bot answer “No”.

Just ignore it and if she brings it up again laugh and say ‘I assumed you were obviously drunk and having a joke’ and then look really really confused. You could do a written version of that as well if she puts it into writing and copy as many people in as you can.

I would turn up in a wedding dress and massively ostentatious wig, like a drag queen. Fuck her, she sounds like a nightmare.

How can anyone support the no wig request?
That's nothing short of psychotic!

What the fuck is wrong with her? I am utterly gobsmacked, especially about the wig. How fucking dare she?

Insisting you not wear a wig in these circumstances is simply just nasty. It's clear your SIL doesn't like you and wants you to feel as uncomfortable as possible. As for not liking your fashion sense, she is being ridiculous. Is she dictating the outfits to all her other guests as well or just you? If just you it's yet another way for her to tell you how much she dislikes you.

I don't think I would want to go to the wedding in J your shoes. If my partner was being treated in such a way I wouldn't want to go either. And I would be very vocal about my reasons for staying home.

What a vile woman. And her parents know about these demands? What does dh think you should do?