To think DHs sister is a bridezilla?

[ReginaGeorge2nd]

If I’m honest...we have never got on. As a matter of fact, I have never got on with his entire family but that’s a thread in itself.

She is getting married in April and has requested me to:

1. Not to wear a wig (my hair is super thin and balding and makes me super uncomfortable so I tend to wear proper, human hair wigs in public/to occasions- I’m talking a decent one, not a green Mohawk from the joke shop)
2. Wear a dress of her choosing (not a bridesmaid or part of the wedding party in any form) because she doesn’t like my “fashion sense”. I don’t dress like a cheap hooker, but I’m not a fussy old fashioned type either

As DH has insisted I’m part of the wedding photos she feels she has a right to demand these things

AIBU?

Does she actually want you there? Do you think she’s saying you don’t need to attend without actually leaving you off the invite?

Apologies to all of MN as I’ve not rtft. I assume from the last para in the op, she didn’t want you in photos, her bro insisted and she’s getting back at you for that. Just don’t be in the mad cow‘s photos. And only attend if you really want to.

You dh is insisting you are in the photos, your SIL is making demands on how you should look/dress.

What do you actually want? Do you even want to be in the photos?

I could almost (a tiny bit) understand the dress if she felt that you would definitely outshine her due to your fabulous dress sense and figure and wanted you to tone it down for her big day..... buts it's the wig that gets me. That's unbelievably cruel and meant to humilate you.
How is she justifying this to anyone? Ask your DH to ask her why.

April XXth? I'm sure on that day you'll find your DC has an unmissable activity...or you have a Very Important Medical Appt...or there is an essential meeting at work you have to be at. (Wedding on a w/end? Well then, that's the w/end your boss is running a team-building event.)

It's the 3rd way out between going and hating it, or refusing to go and upping the ante on your relationship with SiL/her family.

Oh, Gee...I wonder why you don't like her. She sounds charming....

You know,you may not feeling very well on the day of wedding...Just a suggestion😘

I can understand the need to manage the family dynamic without too many sparks so I’d just say nothing more and then just say ‘sorry, can’t come, I’m ill’ on the day. Fait accompli. That will suit her and it will mean you can plan a nice day (a far nicer day than you’d have at the wedding) and start planning it now without the hassle of apparent non-compliance in your part. Your DH can go on his own. She’s a grade A cunt.

Sounds like they are both bad as each other and your ils if such a thing could make them feel bad about you, as your dh said.
I wouldn't go, and I'd be getting rid of the weal arsed dh who clearly isn't on your side at all.

Wear a merkin and two pasties! What a cow!

Bridezilla? No.
Nasty, vile, bitchy piece of crap? Yes.
Either tell her to stick her attitude up her arse or just don’t go. And fuck DHs family, if he’s trying to keep them happy then he obvs doesn’t give a flying shit about their treatment of you.

So your DH's family don't like you? Then it's probably her way of getting you to refuse to attend.

I'd oblige her.

She doesn't want you to go.

I would make that clear to your DH and tell him you're sorry, but he's going to have to choose between you and his sister's wedding. Because her requests are grossly unreasonable and designed to make you not want to attend. So don't.

YANBU tell her to Get lost ( FO). She sounds like a complete nightmare. Although the bigger question for younis why is your DH supporting her viewpoint.

What a hideous person she is, trying to make you feel shit about yourself saying no wig. Why is your wig any of her business??
If I was you I’d go wearing the brightest coloured wig you can - I say this as someone who is sporting purple hair at the moment and loving it. Or just say Sod that to all of them, rise above it, and say you won’t be part of their humiliating plan.

It's okay to have her input about dress code as it's nice for similar dresses. Look at RF ....and Christening photos.

Wig is wrong!!! Rotten sil. Tell your dh you don't want to be there.

What an I sensitive cow! I think she should do one. Just be yourself and be c9mfortable with who you are.

😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮😮

Difficult. If you really dont want to go to the wedding...as others have quite rightly suggested...that will be future resentments from SIL who clearly doesnt like you. ( " she didnt even come to my wedding, the bitch")

If it were me- I'd say" I can't not wear my wig in public...but I'm happy to wear the same bridesmaids dresses as everyone else, of course. BUT It is your wedding and if you cant accept my hairpiece in your formal photo's I'll happily stand down from bridesmaid duties."

Result of being so "reasonable'? Well, if she has the brass neck to.agree to your terms ...
She will look like a real bitch ditching you because of your wig. You can go, wear whatever you like and enjoy the wedding as a regular guest with dh. That way you look gracious and accomodating . Very hard to diss you then....

Bridezilla -1st prize!

Now I’ve rtft my opinion hasn’t changed. You go if you want, you wear what you want, you go in the photos if you want. If she says anything just laugh and say DH and you thought it was all so crazy and weird you thought she must be joking.

You don’t need that in your life. How awful I mean, if she wants a certain look for her wedding I’d do the dress if it’s nice and tasteful.
The wig though?! That’s awful. That’s nothing to do with her and deeply personal, especially if you have issues with thinning hair I’d be really hurt by that. I’d phone her, tell her that you don’t mind doing a dress you both agree on, if you don’t (or tell her to fuck off) but I would DEFINITELY tell her that you’ll do what you like with your hair. Did she ask you outright or did it come down the grapevine?
Feel for you OP. I’ve made a recentl decision to avoid toxic people that you can’t please. And it’s been difficult, but worth it! Good luck

And don’t go discussing any of this before the event, esp if no one else brings the subject up.

@BikingBeatrix 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

She sounds very spoilt & immature , I think she is suffering from too much Instagram and social media . Wanting a designer photograph rather than a snapshot of her family sharing her special day. The wig is non negotiable , the outfit hopefully there could be something that suits you both, if only for your husbands sake .