To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

One in a country house with really bad food in stingy portions. STARVING but that's ok because there is always the evening buffet. The evening buffet was crackers, cheese & a single cupcake. Had to wait in huge queue whilst everyone individually selected crackers, cut their cheese, added pickle to the plate which was so small it only held 2 crackers. We then had to queue for the cupcake. Everyone was starving because there wasn't enough. They spent so much on the venue but didn't bother that everyone was stuck in the middle of nowhere with not enough food.

I don't understand why people have group photos at all. Does anyone ever look at them again?

Worst wedding for me is probably one where B&G lied to the venue about the number of guests to save money.

Bride (maybe also groom) then told her close friends and family to turn up early to get seats in the room where they married, others were stuffed in the back standing and more people milling around in the corridor outside. I was standing at the back and would rather have been outside tbh as it was too long to stand and couldn't hear anything anyway because of the chatter in the hall from people who couldn't come in. At least people in the corridor got to have a drink and a chat!

Of course food was not quite enough. Again close friends/family had been warned to get in on buffet early so if you were slow off the mark there wasn't much left. Then drunken argument on dance floor (nothing the B&G could do about that I know)
Still, the marriage seems to have turned out well!

Just make sure there is lots of nice food. I can handle being a bit bored if I have a full tummy and a glass of wine in my hand.

@Whereisthecoffee, could you do lunch instead of a dinner so the food would be straight after the ceremony?

The long waits are the worst
Just have parents at the ceremony and then a party for family and friends later!

People kept getting lost because they weren't sure where they were going, and some used it as an opportunity to do an ........ goodbye.

That is unacceptably racist

....... because I don't want to repeat a racist comment.

I'm getting married in a register office in Dublin, City Hall, it's a nice venue. Just parents, siblings and children for this bit and then off to a free venue that can hold up to 120 people. It has a bar and we are bringing in food from outside, just going to do a huge buffet, plenty of food and choice and booze. My old boss is a brilliant dj so he'll be doing that. Also putting a few quid behind the bar.

We are not doing speeches or a first dance and will be letting people know they can wear what they want and no need for gifts.

Instead of spending a €60 per head on a shit meal, we are putting the money into touring America with our 4 children.

The things I will be spending money on are my dress, his suit and kids outfits.

Can't wait!

A dry wedding ( Christians), in the arse of nowhere, bf a 6 month old in the toilets as the dress I was required to wear was a zip back shift. Photos on grass (que sunken heels, and soaked shoes) set meal (no veggie option) and worse, set dessert which was, I suspect past its best (the cream was rancid)
1.5 hour wait while couple went for beach photos.
However, it was just one day out of my life, the B&G loved it and had a great time!

The bride chased the groom down the road with a carving knife

The brides sister came in from smoking outside to complain about some children jumping on her car the groom and family being very poker face as it was our bloody family jumping on her car (daughter of said groom)

Mother of the brides partner had been accused of being inappropriate with brides daughter (He said something when pissed she repeated it SS were called in bride asked mum to keep her boyfriend away until it was sorted) there was a gap between the ceremony and the party so bride and groom went one way with friends brides family went the other and spent the afternoon with the gentleman in question having a posh meal at a local castle that the bride wasn't even invited to they did however try to get the child in question to go the bride suspected something and said no the relationship between grandmother and grandchild has been irredeemably damaged by her nan not supporting her, and nanny is still with the violent drunk today the marriage didn't last though

Sorry @MrsTerryPratcett I need to hear more about this!

These are people who booked flights to the WRONG London once. Very poor organizers

Wedding venue and reception were miles from each other.

OP if you can’t afford to have anything in between the ceremony and evening do, and it’s possible to change the time of the party venue, have you considered making it an afternoon tea instead? Relatively cheap to do regards catering.

The second worst wedding involved bring starving. Tables were called to the insufficient barbecue in hierarchical order and we were on the table of least importance (it was very obvious). When we got there, there was pretty much no food left. We had to agree how to divide it between us, which meant saying things like ‘well my partner and I could share a chicken drumstick’ and ‘do you want the burger or the bun’. It was miserable.

The worst thing was, we were sure the under catering was on purpose.

The venue had 2 weddings and our wedding tried to steal the other wedding’s bouncy castle.

Worst have always been the ones with bad timings. 11:30 ceremony and no evening meal until 5. So you miss lunch and are standing around starving and bored until evening. If you treat your guests as an afterthought and dont consider their day then the atmosphere is usually poor because you have a room full of pissed off hungry people, who would rather be at home.

The one with No food - where the ceremony was at 12, in at church miles from where the reception was and where every one was staying - so no one had eaten before. 45 mins for the ceremony, 1hr30 for the photos.. in a tiny village with no pub or corner shop. Then a drive back to the reception where no food turned up for fucking ages.

The one with the Drunk Dad Speech - father of the bride got drunk. Bride had anticipated this and had buffet with no speeches. FoB got on a chair anyway and spoke for ages about how she was his least favourite daughter and detailed all the times she'd fucked up - sackings, rows, abortions - the works. She was in tears, her mother was trying to drag him off the chair, it was awful. Eventually he wandered off and said he was going to walk the 30 miles home to prove he wasn't drunk. No one stopped him

Basically lots of hanging around and not feeding people coupled with drunk stupid people.

Not my own, but happened to a friend: invited to the ceremony of a wedding, then asked to get a cab and wait in a nearby pub whilst people ate dinner before returning to join for the evening! There were only a handful of people in the pub, and nothing laid on for them (no booked table, offer of a drink etc). Literally couldn't believe it. It's like some people think manners and hosting etiquette is suspended when they throw a wedding.

Invited to the church ceremony followed by a drink reception then had to wait 5 hours whilst the family had a wedding meal and speeches etc and expected to return at 7pm for the evening reception. We were miles from home and had little money so hung around and found a sandwich shop then went back in the evening as we weren’t being picked up by my parents til midnight. Bride had the audacity to ask where have you been when we went to the evening reception 15mins late!

I'm fine with gaps if I know what to expect. I've happily bridged gaps in nearby pubs knowing that there was time to fill, and maybe have a snack etc.

The worst one was DH's extended family. We flew to Ireland for it, so not cheap, and a whole weekend. We stayed in town A with family as it was about 30-40 mins from small town B where the church service was. 12pm, full, long Catholic mass, cold church. We emerge, have the sandwiches in the car having had our brunch by 10:30, and make the hour's drive to the extortionate hotel an hour away up the arse end of nowhere. We arrive by 3pm and wait. There is a welcome drink, coffee, biscuits. We wait. 5pm ish the couple finish their photos on the beach (and have apparently been to a pub en-route). We wait. Not enough chairs around to contemplate devouring. We wait. Some sports match is on the TV in the bar. We wait. Dinner is served at 8 fucking pm. It's medicore, but we're fucking desperate. By the time the dinner and speeches are done and it's the first dance, it's time for the 1hr drive back to civilisation. There was nowhere else other than the extortionate hotel to stay in, or sneak out to. Just stuck hungry and uncomfortable for hours and hours. DH had to drive, and drinking on an empty stomach is no fun.

The only saving grace was meeting some extended family prior to our wedding. The couple, we barely saw and never saw again having declining the invitation to our wedding. What's the point in inviting 200+ people when it's so impersonal and uncomfortable for them when they've made a substantial effort to come.

We did have travel at our wedding, but warned the guests about timings and gave suggestions of local places to eat before the 2pm ceremony. The hotel was reasonably priced with local services so guests did have options. They were given a rough idea of timings. We did our photos at the hotel, so were around to get time with everyone.

Two - one would have been lovely, but B&G insisted that the children went as well and they were bored stiff within about 30 minutes, food wasn't suitable and there was NO APPLE JUICE (which was about the worst crime you could commit with my then 6 year old.) It was not at all relaxing.
Another was a Monday wedding, so no-one was particularly in the mood, massive gap between then ceremony and the reception, with no food or nibbles in between and one glass of prosecco. When the wedding breakfast was served, the portions were incredibly small. DH and I ended up leaving by 9pm as we were both starving.

Reception held in a small social club, just a room with a bar really, that was too small for the number of guests. We were so packed together at the tables that we had to co-ordinate our arm movements to get food into our mouths. On top of this it was absolutely pissing with rain, we had all got soaked at the church and steam was rising off us like horses at the end of a race. Worse was to come. The club rules said no children in the bar after 8pm so all the poor buggers with kids had to go out into a conservatory that was built on the side. Well, I say conservatory, it was a glorified lean-to. For the rest of the evening all these poor outcasts in the cold lean-to had their noses pressed to the dividing windows watching us lucky ones in the warm. It was pitiful. In fact it was so fucking awful me and XDH went back to our hotel at 9 o’clock, got into bed and watched a film. And had a good laugh. 😂

One in a posh hotel in a town miles away from where most of the guests lived. Cost of a room was extortionate so we got a room elsewhere for both of us at less than half the price for one of us at the hotel. Huge wait between ceremony and reception so most of the guests were plastered. Luckily I'd brought sandwiches which we'd had before the ceremony as the food wasn't dished up till 8pm and they forgot my vegetarian meal. Dancing started at 10pm and local taxis stopped at midnight so had to leave before the end.

Another where people came from all over the country for the wedding and most weren't invited to the wedding reception afterwards but just the ceremony and evening reception. Luckily I had the caravan so we went to the chippy after taking the dogs for a walk.

Best ones were where the ceremony and reception were in the same room/venue where everyone joined in with the photos with plenty of drink and canapés before the reception.

At one of my (female) cousins' weddings the groom turned up and we suspected he was drunk. Then he proceeded to get far more drunk at the reception, tried to grope me, and then snogged the bridesmaid and threw up all over the dance floor. He'd run off with another woman before the wedding photos even came back from the photographer.

So the main theme seems to be that hungry guests = unhappy guests!

Can I be cheeky and ask a question then? If you went to a wedding with ceremony at 5 followed by drinks, then dinner at 6:30/7, would you expect canapés with the drinks? There will be tonnes of food at dinner, followed by a cheese table, and an evening buffet at around 10, so I feel like canapés before dinner would be overkill but I’m very happy to reconsider if the consensus is that our guests will be outraged!

An alternative I considered was putting out some retro bags of crisps for people to enjoy with drinks (frazzles, hula hoops etc) as I’ve seen this at a few weddings and it always seems to go down a treat!

I was running the childcare at a wedding once, unfortunately shortsightedly booked for a day during the FA cup or something. The bride and groom were left more or less alone in the marquee while their guests crowded into the tiny playroom to watch the match! It was so painfully awkward!