To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

Registry office wedding in the city centre. After the ceremony the bride and groom went off to a hotel for a few hours (about 4-5 hours!) whilst guests had to entertain themselves for hours and then make their way across the city to the evening reception venue.

We sat for hours in a local wetherspoons with the rest of the guests and everyone ate there as they were hungry.

By the time we got to the reception everyone had been sitting in pubs drinking for hours, half the guests were completely pissed and half were just tired and fed up and wanted to go home.

set up for max inconvenience for guests

realistically most people would have left home at 11am

no food till 5 or 6pm

no free drinks, not even a soft drink (I'm not much of a drinker, but needed a sugary drink to stop me from having a growling stomach)

receiving line took 2 hours - some people drove to get food but I stupidly didn't realise food was going to be so late

bride spent £5000 on dress, £2000 on shoes and several thousands on table flowers - when one female guests asked if the posies could be taken home, the bride screeched how much she had spent and that no way could they be taken - but amid all that, nope, not a free orange juice in sight.

coaches were taking us back to the hotel - which was sold to us at one of those cover wedding costs rates, but I didn't know about this back then. Well, we were told there would be coaches. In reality it was a minibus, so we went in turns, and I got back at 2am because as a friend of the bride's, and young at the time, I was supposed to put up with it.

so the total length of my day was 11am to 2am, not including getting ready or anything. I had breakfast at 9am maybe, because I thought with a midday wedding, food of some substantial nature would appear by 2pm. More fool me.

Oooh thanks for the stories. See I have a big gap between ceremony and reception nothing in between. As it’s register office quick ceremony. I’ve explained this to close family and told them I totally get if they don’t want to come to the ceremony save them going out twice.

The worst thing is long waits between all the bits of the wedding. Don't have people waiting around for ages without food or drink - it's rubbish as a guest. As the bride or groom your day will be packed, but for your guests, they're basically standing around waiting for you to get on with it - so make sure they're comfortable (plenty of chairs), and make sure there's plenty to eat and drink.

Another one for hanging around for photos. It was December, country house, room with marble floor, no food or drinks, blooming freezing while B&G had all manner of photos taken elsewhere. No entertainment, no refreshments and cold - worst combination.

oh, there was a casino thing for alleged entertainment, but mostly people were just desperate for food and because there was no guideline for when it was coming, if you weren't with the clever people who ran away during the receiving line debacle, you couldn't really leave to get anything. It was also in the middle of nowhere so if you didn't have a car (couple were londoners, many guests didn't have car as transport had been provided) you couldn't leave again.

funny how there was a coach big enough for all of us to get to the wedding, but of course not a coach big enough to get us back from the wedding.

An actually lovely wedding which all went a bit 'meh' at the evening part because the bar, DJ and room with tea/coffee/seats were all separate. So most people ended up in the bar, no-one was dancing, all the older people were sitting in the tea room. It all just went a bit flat after a lovely meal etc.

Lack of food at weddings is my pet peeve, have been to two where we were practically starved in an effort by B&G to save money.

Have also been to a wedding where they fed by strapping teenage son a child's meal when he was very much older than the 12 age limit imposed by the hotel.

So 3 chicken goujons, a few chips and a spoonful of peas as fed to the 5 year old on our table is not really going to fill my son. fed him pringles ad cookies in our room between afternoon and evening.

Best weddings, relaxed, lots of stodge food in the evening to soak up alcohol. Not huge distance from church/venue to reception. Also waiting around with no canapes just makes children feral and everyone else drunk because there is nothing to fill your stomach apart from alcohol.

Mid week evening reception. No food or drinks provided for guests. We had all come straight from work so we were starving. All left around 9pm to hunt down the nearest chip shop then we went home.

The ceremony was at 1... and then there was nothing until the meal was served at 6... no canapes...no free drink... People were buying packets of nuts from the expensive bar. By the time dinner was served I could have eaten a scabby donkey.

I have learned and now pack snacks in the car for such disasters

A cousin got married and the family were very excited as we rarely all see each other as we are scattered across the Uk and Europe and it’s not often we are all in one place.

But for the tables, the bride decided to ‘mix things up’ and split families/friends/groups up. I was on a table with my sister, I knew nobody else. My dad and his partner didn’t know anybody else on theirs either. My elderly aunt sat with some kids of the bride’s friend’s. The bride had put ‘icebreaker’ questions on the tables so we could all get to know each other and ask stuff like ‘what would you bring to a desert island’ etc. My sister and I were seated at different ends of the table, she was very fragile after a break up a few days before (kept bursting into tears, could barely eat etc) so I switched to be next to her. The bride came over and yelled at us for messing with the seating plan. It wasn’t meant to be disrespectful, I just didn’t want my sister to feel alone sitting next to people she had never met while fighting back tears.

I think at weddings people want to see their families and friends and catch up, not sit making awkward small talk with entire tables of people they’ll never see again in their lives. It felt like a work team building session.

Most were fine to my mind because I'm happy to stand around talking shit to people I don't know but the worst parts of some of the 100s I attended:

Freezing cold church, didn't have heating, I wore a blanket from out of our car, the bridesmaids were blue.
Random disgusting buffet, like 1970s style curly sandwiches, everyone got hammered as they'd not eaten much but the bar was ££££££. I got an allergic reaction which was weird but the food and drink was all so sketcy
Any wedding where the venue and ceremony are far apart and no usable map provided. Sat Nav helps but if you are inviting people from out of town please consider what directions you give them.
I like a child free wedding but remember most people with kids are going to find it hard to get babysitting for long periods especially if all their relatives are also at your wedding. Don't have a mid week wedding in August, no kids, at a remote location with only 6 weeks notice or people will need to cancel their family holiday to attend (my relative did this and was cross we wouldn't. Nope I'm not depriving my children of their actual summer holiday this year for your wedding!). The best weddings allow kids with a babysitting creche arrangement over the speeches so everyone can relax!
Waiting a million hours because the b&g have gone somewhere else to have a photoshoot is bad enough but dry, is hell. If you must do this at least provide a free bar! If you can't afford a good bar then have your pictures nearby ffs.
You can't stop weather but try to think about potential issues. Our ushers had umbrellas because there was a walk from one ceremony to another and it was a rainy time.

I now usually decline wedding invitations. They’re usually like attending a party organised by people who don’t like organising events and/or aren’t very good at it, and don’t regard the guests as either interesting or worth expending effort on.

I assume people hold weddings as a way to get rid of people they don’t want to see any more. I can’t think of many other reasons for the way that guests are treated. Difficult and expensive locations, a lot of hanging around, mass catering, loud and inappropriate music, interminable speeches by people who can’t and shouldn’t speak in public. Avoid.

Now, if I do go and I’m left hanging around for an hour with no food, I leave. No exceptions.

Oh or the one where we travelled a huge distance only to be sat next to random strangers rather than with any of the family we rarely get the chance to see. Everyone was mixed and separated. Awful.

I’m worrying now about my gap would you be bothered if it had been explained prior that there is a ceremony but I don’t expect people to attend as the reception isn’t until six? I’m just offering out of courtesy for any relatives that may want to see the ceremony ?

Arrival at midday, hanging around waiting for the wedding at 1.30pm and then SIX speeches before any food was served. When it was, there wasn't nearly enough of it and most people were already hammered.

OP- don't do that- people come to a wedding to see you get married. Just move up your party so it starts immediately after your ceremony.

Gaps are rude, telling people they don't have to come makes it seem like you don't actually want them there, just want guests.

Remember this: The ceremony is for you and your partner. The reception/ dinner/ party is to thank your guests for witnessing your wedding. You are a host at the end of the day. You wouldn't have people over for dinner, have everyone play a game, then have a massive gap before you serve your starters. It's all one event. Just bump up your reception/ dinner/party/whatever and you'll be fine.

Also, I know some people will try to argue otherwise, but evening guests, and inviting people without their spouses is very rude.

Also went to one where the speeches took 90 mins - because the father of the bride’s was 40 mins!! Everyone was bored off their tits..too long.

My friend went to one where they did the speeches before any food/drink, which I think is a mistake as guests are more receptive to them after they’re full/a bit tipsy. It was a boiling hot day in the height of summer, they were in a marquee and there wasn’t even any water on the tables. The speeches fell flat as everyone was starving/thirsty/stone cold sober, nobody laughed at any of the jokes. Some people even snuck off to the gift shop at the historical Manor House further down just to buy bottled water. Just terribly planned.

I went to a child free wedding. It was a family event H'e cousin and now wife. My daughter was still exclusively breastfeeding. Nonetheless I made arrangements for my mum to have her so I could attend. It was stressful for me, uncomfortable and she screamed so much my mum drove 40mins down the A1 so I could go out and feed her in the car so I could at least stay for dinner. She refused bottles.

All manageable and fine as it was child free. Except her three mates all had babies there. I was so pissed off. Another cousin and his wife were in the same boat as us and we were both just upset at the lengths we'd gone to to keep our kids away to respect the child free wedding she told us she wanted when others had been allowed to bring their kids. (And yes, they'd been told it was fine, not just ignored the message)

oh OP, what is the point of the bloody gap?!

if you want to have the people from the reception at the ceremony, then why should they have to entertain themselves during some gap! do they have to get their own food too? Jesus wept.

ReflectentMonatomism best post ever!!!

same as Mayvis. Invited to an evening reception after work, was near a tram stop but in fact it was a 15 walk, along an unlit lane, to get to the hotel near the tram stop (that was more bad on hotels part to give that as a direction).
No food at all, just drinks you had to pay for and stand around as all day guests had seats. We left at 9 to get some food.
Thank goodness it was local and we'd not spend any money to get there (beyond our usual travelcard). I begrudged them the £20 voucher we gave them.

Thought of another one: buffet served at reception, which is fine. However, they called tables one at a time and I was on the last table, so by the time we got there there was little left, especially for the vegetarians.

as for explanations, all timings should be explained on the invitation.

actually I've just remembered another one - the wedding was fine, but the B&G sent out a list of hotels that weren't nearby. Of course people went "huh?" and it turned out they didn't want any guests staying in the small b&b they were staying in. so they tried to direct people to hotels in the bigger town nearby in case we found them.

like we were going to knock on their door on the wedding night...

Totally souless hotel.
Dreary service (in the hotel)with piped music.
Lots of standing around while the photos were taken.
Tasteless meal.
Disco - really not appropriate for a load of staid 45+year olds (I went to bed early, had to stay in the hotel as not other accommodation locally, first room was so tiny a 3/4 bed for two large adults, fortunately we got moved).
But the worse thing was we were told ‘no children’ which was fine so we arranged childcare but we were put on a table with the brides’s neices and nephews. I totally appreciate that they should have been invited but having looked forward to a childfree occasion we had to make small talk to children I am sure they were as bored as we were.

OP- Surely the bit you want people at is the ceremony - that is the important bit. The rest is just fluff. Either have a later ceremony or an earlier reception. But don't leave people hanging about with nowhere to go and no food or drink.