To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

The worst one I’ve been to timing wise was an earlyish wedding followed by eating at 5.30 which meant hours and hours of hanging around. Roughly 4.5 hours of standing around. The food and speeches went into the evening guests arriving.

For our own wedding we made sure there was only 1/1.5 hours of hanging around before food. It worked out really well

We're getting married (in 13 days!!) so I'm having a good nosy at these.

The worst we went to, huge wait between ceremony and food as the couple were having photos done which took well over an hour followed by travel time and then speeches which were so so so long and tedious. We were all absolutely starving by the time the meal was served. During our wait we weren't allowed into the reception so we all sat in this freezing freezing cold half outdoor room with no food or drinks.

For our wedding we have a 2 hour wait between ceremony and meal so we've got loads of canapés and drinks, our speeches are taking 10 mins as we're not having any, we're just saying a thanks! Then it's dinner 4 until 6 and the hot roll buffet will be out at half 9.

Ceremony at 1pm, bar opened at 5.30pm and food at 7pm. Six sodding hours without as much as a bowl of mixed nuts. Some guests went to Sainsbury's for sandwiches. The entire thing was an object lesson in how not to organise a wedding. I imagine few of the guests have fond memories.

Make it very clear in your invitations OP and direct your guests towards places they can hole up - local restaurants, bars, etc. Will they be able to go home or to their hotel in between? Please think about how the day will be for them as well as yourselves. My DB's wedding had horrible timings, so I made damn sure that our guests would always be entertained, fed and watered during the boring bits (i.e. the photos).

I’m worrying now about my gap would you be bothered if it had been explained prior that there is a ceremony but I don’t expect people to attend as the reception isn’t until six?

I’d decline that one, and add you to my “rude people to phase out” list.

I didn’t actually go but got to hear all about it after the event. Ex BF of mine had previously been married. At his wedding, the bride (his wife of all of a few hours), shagged the best man in a room at the hotel. Turns out they’d been having an affair for six months. Another guest saw them going in the room and went to find ex BFs brother who confronted them when they came out. Unsurprisingly it put a bit of a downer on ex BFs day. but they all agreed to carry on with the day because of the upset it would have caused his elderly parents. They didn’t go on the honeymoon and split immediately afterwards but his parents never found out the real reason.

@April241

why is there a 2 hour wait please?

The one with the raw chicken and half a glass of warm white wine at dinner, followed by the speech where the FOB talked about his new SIL’s criminal record. The bride was impressively orange though

Enough food on the evening buffet, is my major want, as well.

A venue were the drink prices aren't exorbitant. I've been to do's were we had to go to local off licences and smuggle in drink in gift bags. We aren't tight, we are happy to spend on drink, but not 3+ times a normal round, in even a city centre venue.

The worst one, in a way, was one that the couple had insisted that they had the pictures done on a local beach, whilst the guests had a light buffet, on the beach. In early April.

I knew the beach, I regularly went beach fishing etc and knew it wouldn't work. Other people, when I explained it, tried to reason with them. It was a very fine sand/gritty beach that was always breezy.

There were a fair few elderly/wheelchair/poor mobility guests. Others quite quickly realised that they would be covered in sand/had to take their shoes off, clothes ruined and would be eating/drinking sand. The planned tables just sank, or blew over.

So we went to an ordinary boozer and had a great three hours, before we went for the main meal.

The Bride was devestated, but she was warned.

If I’m being honest, the thing that grinds my gears about weddings is the gap between ceremony and reception/meal... I’d have to say I’d be unlikely to be impressed with, or bother to attend in the event of, a six hour gap.

Sorry.

We aren’t having a massive wedding that’s why just simple ceremony then family and friend party in the evening. I wasn’t going to have ceremony guests but a few have said they want to go anyway so out of politeness I was inviting the rest of the family. I’ve already emailed and explained the ceremony is simple and I don’t want people putting themselves out if just attending the reception was better for them. I looked into meals but realistically it’s over budget

Ceremony at 1pm, bar opened at 5.30pm and food at 7pm. Six sodding hours without as much as a bowl of mixed nuts

As I’ve said before, I went to one like that where people (including us) just left and didn’t come back. There was endless pissing about with photographs which must have been planned, and the food was apparently hours later than was originally intimated. About a third of the guests left, so the bride was in tears at the empty tables. Tough. We haven’t spoken to her since and don’t care overmuch.

I’ve messaged but not sent ceremony invite out yet so maybe I’ll just not bother with ceremony guests and just invite all to the reception.

Couple got married in morning with just parents.

We then went to theirs with our own food contribution as they weren’t providing any.

Marquee put up in garden. We had to sit through a pretend Christian ceremony. Except we didn’t sit as they only provided chairs for the bridal party.

They then didn’t provide anywhere to sit and eat the food.

We only stayed two hours and went out for a meal instead.

Lovely couple who mean the world to me but it was just weird.

I think the worst wedding I ever went to the day was very pleasant, but you could see it was a mistake and they’d make each other miserable. A nice party didn’t seem worth the inevitable failures.

Should clarify I’m providing reception food I meant as a lunch

Reception was in bride’s back garden. We were not allowed inside the house, except to use the toilet but ONLY THE DOWNSTAIRS TOILET. To save costs, they had made all the food themselves. Stuffed peppers. Literally just stuffed peppers. All stuffed with the same thing. It started raining. We still weren’t allowed indoors. Stood with my baby under a trellis thing with a bunch of people I didn’t know until I realised I could just leave. Was so relieved.

April241, you can slip the speeches between courses. Which is what I prefer.

When I've been to similar Weddings. There's been a few Casino tables, provided.

I went to a wedding when dd was just 3 moths old, I was bridesmaid, lovely wedding service but when we got to the reception there was no room for a pushchair so I had to carry dd in my arms, it was a sit down meal and dd cried and cried so much that I had to take her out and sit outside with her as I didn’t have her pram near by to settle her in. I ended up sat outside crying whilst everyone else tucked into their food. I didn’t get to eat as no one would take dd (dh was a twat, he’s now my ex).

So please make sure if you have guests with babies that they can have space for their pram or a highchiar to sit their child in so they can eat.

Worst wedding was that of a school friend. She had a church wedding with a reception in the church hall (not massively relevant). I wasn't allowed a plus one because I'd only been with my boyfriend for a year (yes, she actually said this to me). The only food was canapes brought round on trays but there was nothing vegetarian (I'm vegetarian). It's fine to do a wedding on a budget but I felt like a spare part that she'd invited just because we'd been friends since we were 10.

Best wedding was my brother's. They didn't have much money to spend on it. They had a registry office wedding but SIL wore full on bridal gear (it was her 2nd wedding and she hadn't done this 1st time round so she really went for it in a BIG way). No wedding cars etc., she walked there. We all had a good laugh at my brother's middle names during the ceremony. Then we walked to a local Harvester where everyone paid for their own meal. After that we left them to it and they met up with friends in their local pub to carry on the celebrations.

With my brother's wedding, I think it was the happiness and honesty of the occasion that made it. They were really happy to be getting married, we were all happy to be there and pay for our food, everyone was happy to go their separate ways so they could have a different type of celebration with just their friends.

So not only are you having a 6 hour gap, but you aren't feeding people? Oh yikes.

I would just cancel the big party, have a simple close friend and family ceremony, take everyone out for a meal, and then call it a day. If all these people want to celebrate with you, they will arrange to take you out another day.

Everyone understands small weddings. But they don't understand rude hosts with large gaps and no food.

Most weddings I’ve been to have been OK overall (if not excellent) but a couple of things definitely stand out in my mind:

1. Wedding where I had travelled a long way and was really looking forward to catching up with some old friends and having a reunion of sorts, only to find that the B&G had completely split everyone up so that I wasn’t sitting with a single person I knew. To make matters worse, they had separated all the couples so I wasn’t even next to my partner, he was on the opposite side of our table. The bride’s family were from overseas and I found myself sat between two people who hardly spoke any English, so we could barely make any small talk. I’m planning my own wedding now so I know the table plan can be tricky to figure out, and it’s nice to encourage people to mingle a bit, but come on!

2. A recent wedding where the Father of the Bride’s speech went on for a FULL HOUR. He was a very poor public speaker and basically read out a long monotonous essay about the bride which must have been at least ten pages long. I wanted to weep with joy when he finally finished. The catering staff and the band were furious because it completely scuppered all the timings for the day!

@Whereisthecoffee, the ceremony is the entire point for me. I wouldn't bother going if I wasn't going to see that.

OP I'd stick with no ceremony guests

if anyone asks, say they are welcome to attend but they are then going to need to do something for several hours before the reception.

There was the one where the majority of the guests went down with sickness within 24 hours of the reception - it might not have been food poisoning but the staff were in and out of the room where the food was laid out with mops and buckets because there was a problem with the toilets .......... Also there was insufficient food - the groom's grandmother didn't get anything to eat at all!

There was the one where the bride had serious MH issues. She had a breakdown between the service and the reception and spent the entire meal sleeping with her head on the table.

The one on one of the hottest days of summer where everyone had to wait outside the hall because the caterers weren't ready but there was no shade or seating or anything to drink.

There was also the wedding where the groom's father made a speech that was highly inappropriate. The reception was so so. We went home for an hour or so before going back for the disco in the evening. The DJ was foul, refused to turn the music down to a level where people could communicate without sign language and refused to play the song the groom asked for - not "sorry I haven't got it" but "no - I'm in charge and I'll play what I want."