To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

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or just get married, have a simple cheap meal with the important people, and then have no evening reception.

Agree with a PP - people will want to see you actually get married, that's the whole point! And what are your close family going to do for hours after the ceremony? You need to move something so the ceremony and the reception are next to each other, or just not invite people to the ceremony at all.

All the worst weddings I've been to involved long gaps for photos etc and no refreshments. When I got married I had the ceremony at 5 and drinks and food immediately after. No hanging around and the meal was informal so people could sit where they liked, eat when they liked etc.

I was on the last table, so by the time we got there there was little left, especially for the vegetarians

Oh yes, the meat-eaters grabbing up all the veggie food. That's another irritating thing.

Probably mine, although we think it's funny now, 40 years later.

Date was picked months in advance because church got booked up very fast. Only to discover we'd picked the same day as the Grand National in a location 5 miles from Aintree! We carried on anyway as we thought it would be ok.

After the ceremony at 3pm, all the guests made for my parent's house where the reception was, to watch the race. So when we arrived with the photographer, there was no-one outside to photograph! We had to drag them out - after the race was finished. So photos were very rushed. No-one could book a hotel, so DH's rellies came in a mini bus and left early. My dad forgot to do a speech because he was sat in the cellar with my BF's DH drinking whisky (which he didn't share with anyone else).

We'd booked into the only available hotel in L'Pool for our wedding night where I was propositioned by a very drunk group of Irish men. Who spent all night banging on our door.

The following day we were due to fly to Italy for our Honeymoon. The plane was 5 hours late and we finally arrived at the hotel at 4am. Which was locked. Our courier had spent a delightful hour on the bus demonstrating how you could make rude things with orange peel (I'm not kidding). After half an hour of banging on the door of the hotel, they finally let us in and kept us waiting for another hour while they found someone to find our room keys.

All in all it was nearly as crazy as our first date. But that's another story.

The one where the bride and groom didn’t want to get married. Both looked like it was the worst day of their lives...they did stick it out for 12 years of misery but are now in the midst of a bitter divorce.

For our wedding we have a 2 hour wait between ceremony and meal so we've got loads of canapés and drinks, our speeches are taking 10 mins as we're not having any, we're just saying a thanks! Then it's dinner 4 until 6

Sorry, I’d leave after the ceremony. So you’re asking people to arrive for a ceremony at one (so, realistically, for people travelling no guaranteed opportunity for lunch), hang around for two hours, then a bizarre “dinner” at 4pm? Nah. Who want to eat dinner at 4pm? Why can’t you do a late lunch straight after the ceremony? Or have the ceremony at 4 and dinner afterwards?

Again, it all sounds like the guests stuffed into the timing for the bride’s convenience. What’s happening the intervening two hours? Yeah: photos, I know.

Really poor evening buffet and no option to buy more food. We had lunch at 2. By 8 everyone was starving as you know what wedding food portions are like. Out come about 4 pizzas. Between 100 guests.

Mine was fab, and reading these replies, I timed it right. We got married at 1.30pm, no official photography so everyone just took photos and uploaded them for me, sit down meal at 3pm. 1 course then cut the cake for pudding, did speeches (short but very sweet) after everyone had their cake, bit of a gap for 2 hours where everyone could mingle and get tipsy, then evening do started at 7.30pm, so more guests to chat to and more food. Ceremony and venue same place, central location, nice outside space (and it was warm enough to use).

I had a blast and most of my guests said the same. Did it on a budget too. 50 daytime, 80 night time guests. All well fed, disco etc and it cost just short of 5k including our outfits.

My dress was from a charity shop. I was in the floor doing oops up at one point and wasn't at all bothered. Poor dress was filthy. But I was very happy.

OP, keep the ceromony to very close Family, or people who want to go.

Couldn't you even do a few slow cookers of food and crusty bread etc? Or bring a dish for close Family?.

Really gorgeous grand castle venue. Got inside to find that the wedding was allocated the tiniest reading room and a small room across the hall. The number of guests and tiny rooms meant that nobody could be in one room at the same time so had to stand in the corridor for speeches. which were fucking dull and long

Best wedding was mine (obvs). 120 guests - not to big not too small. Beautiful period venue to ourselves with tiny chapel in the grounds so no travelling. Loads of garden space for kids, fresh air etc Really good sit down dinner, short speeches, amazing DJ (friend) and FREE BAR (we brought a gazillion bottles of good Cava over from Spain and allocated a good budget to the bar so that people didn't have to spend a penny. And it was 24 degrees and sunny with a light breeze. Honestly, I know I'm blowing my own trumpet but we didn't spend a fortune, not everything was perfect/went to plan, but all our guests said it was brilliant because we worked hard to eliminate things that would piss us off
.

Sorry a six hour gap is just so rude.

You absolutely must change your timings or organise something to fill the gap.

Being invited to the ceremony and the evening party but not the reception /breakfast thing in the middle.

Just remembered another one. This one was a church wedding next to the Thames. The Reception was on a boat that went up and down the Thames. It would have been lovely but DH felt really unwell and there was no way to get off the boat, he had to sit it out for hours. As the B&G were my friends from Uni DH was the designated driver and I got hideously drunk and was really unsympathetic.

Reception finished and I insisted he drive us home (1.5 hours away). His appendix burst a few hours later and it took him months to recover. I still feel ashamed!

Absolutely nothing the B&G could have done about that; they wouldn't have even been aware!

We were invited to an evening do only - no problem with that and it was relatively local anyway (easy to get a taxi there and back). Arrived to find half of the full-day guests outside either having a fag or getting some fresh air - the daytime bit had overrun so the venue staff were in the process of clearing up the room ready for the evening. Again, no problem. But we, and the other evening guests, were unceremoniously herded into a bar area at the rear of the main room. No 'welcome drink', we had to buy our own from the start - again, no problem with paying for our drinks at a bar, but no 'welcome drink'? The other evening guests that we chatted to all seemed to be the groom's friends (DP was a friend of the groom too), so clearly the bride had relegated a bunch of his friends, but not hers. When the evening finally got going the disco was so loud the only place to escape was in the bar - so we didn't move from there. Oh, and soggy buffet food.

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom wanted to do a sweepstake for the speeches.

They had the best man go around the tables, writing down how long each guest thought the total duration of the speeches would be. You had to pay £1.

They wanted literally everyone to take part besides children, so if you came as a couple, both of you had to give separate answers. There were loads of guests, so this took forever and it was painful waiting. Especially when someone didn't have a pound, so they'd have to ask around their table to borrow one. It took so long.

The speeches couldn't begin until all the guesses had been made and they weren't serving the food until after the speeches. So we all sat there awkwardly in our seats, starving.

The speeches finally started. They were fifty minutes long. This included the world's most boring slideshow, which was literally just pictures of the couple that I could easily see for myself on Facebook.

It was just really boring, everyone was hungry and no one really cared for the sweepstake. Keeping your guests fed is really important.

Where the bride turned up really drunk. Groom held it together until everyone left and tore a strip out of her. Massive, massive fight, distraught child and DH and I trying to pick up the pieces on our first night away after our son was born.

The marriage lasted 12 months. They’d been together 15 years previously.

There's nothing worse than attending a wedding where the actual marriage after the wedding is irrelevant to the bride and groom. An abusive fiancé/fiancée doesn't become an ideal spouse just because you've spent a shitload of Daddy's cash on it.

If I was invited to an evening party but told that I needn't go to the ceremony, I would decline. The ceremony is the important bit.

At the ceremony there were a lot more seats than people. The family sat in the first row then there were several empty rows then the rest of the guests. It looked terrible on the photos. Then a long drive through heavy traffic to get to the reception venue. The meal was a buffet of cheap cardboard like pizzas. The evening buffet was more of the same pizzas. The DJ was absolutely terrible, played really shit music that no one wanted to dance to. Half way through the reception the couples families started taking down the decorations and packing things away, obviously not wanting to stay afterwards to get it done. Killed the atmosphere somewhat to feel like they were almost trying to hurry people out of the door. They obviously had a small budget but they could have easily made it better.

Bride Chinese, Groom not. Bride had been offered £20000 by her father to marry a Chinese man of his choosing ( Bride born and raised in UK)
Traditional church wedding, all went well and then to a large posh Chinese restaurant for a tea ceremony etc. All lovely
As the Best Man stood up to do his speech the door crashed open and a group of older Chinese men came in with what looked like a Thai prostitute each. Much fuss as they were found seats ( friends of a Brides father apparently). They heckled the best man in Mandarin with awful racist comments ( a Mandarin speaker at our table was translating but the rest of the English guests didn’t know what was going on). Groom asked them to be quiet but they wouldn’t so Grooms father got down from the top table and went over. We all assumed to tell them to stop but he pulled up a chair and joined in!
Then Brides brother went over to ask them to stop,cue huge drama over his “disrespect” for his elders with much shouting and then they all stormed out, including Father of the Bride.
Food was excellent though
They are still very happily married with 4 children 20 years later

I’ve had the reception booked by a family member before I confirmed trying to be nice but it’s just made things impossible. I didn’t want the big gap and I am trying to fix a choice I didn’t make

Honestly? Any wedding, anywhere, where the photographs are the main event and everyone else's convenience has to be subjugated to the photographer's needs.

Just get a photographer who takes pictures of what happens as it happens, rather than them creating a whole 'parallel day' in which the principals spend all their time being photographed away from the guests while the guests have too little to do and nothing to eat.

Think through the whole day not only from your point of view, but also that of any 'key people' (bridesmaids, best man etc) and of the guests (all the separate groups if you have e.g. family, friends, an evening reception etc). Think of the worst case scenarios - who is travelling from furthest / has the youngest child / knows the fewest people? What will THEIR day be like? If it sounds miserable and boring, change the day so it won't be.

Father of the bride used the opportunity during his speech to promote his business! He sold photocopiers - so completely irrelevant if you were not a company owner or a purchaser. The rest of the speech was awful too.

Same wedding - the Best Man talked about how wonderful the bride was - recalling the good times when he went out with the Bride. Just awful and cringeworthy

Shit no, Brides father joined in with drunk Chinese men and prostitues I meant. NOT Grooms father, that would have been even worse

Really religious one - the bride was late, which meant the ceremony then went on for about 3 hours - they sang so many gospel songs people were completely fed up by the end. Long wait at the reception venue while the couple had photos taken with no food or drink provided. Finally allowed in, buffet food which people were allowed up to table by table. There was 12 tables, food ran out by the time table 7 had been up. Speeches went on for ages - mostly long prayers and blessings, no funny anecdotes or any of the usual stuff you get at weddings. 30 mins left for music and dancing as the venue closed at 10. Awful day!