To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

Fucking love these threads. Tagging it now for some juicy bed time reading.

The one where everyone ended up with norovirus

badwedding how many stayed standing?

onemorecupofcoffeefoetheroad warm white wine? And they did know you know, they would have smelled the alcohol on you and in the room

PIFilm it was awful. Lots of sniggering... By the time the speeches were underway everyone was well oiled. It was quite a posh wedding but the bride was known for having a bit of a reputation.

Rumour has it that that one of the grooms brothers, her new father in law, grooms uncle, the best man himself and a couple of ushers amongst others had been with her!

There were lots of anxious wives, girlfriends and mothers in the room and a few red faces all round. Mortifying!!!

The 80s wedding with a Top 40 Chart tape instead of a DJ, or even a family member who has a large record collection. Yes, complete with the pause squeaks and odd words where they didnt quite cut out the DJ. And they only had one weeks worth so it was just replayed throughout the evening.....

The wedding where B&G where both had guessed that the other is having an affair. But they still go ahead with the wedding for two reasons, they want the wedding presents and her parents had paid for the dream honeymoon. They split up within six months.

The wedding where the B&G though it would be fun to invite all their single exes (without partners) and then mix them up on tables to see if any of them got on. Not only that, the BG gave the tables a special mention in his speech.

The wedding with no toilets. Yes, in the 1970s a family wedding was held in a school hall. Only the toilets were in the main school building and we weren't allowed to use them. The caretaker eventually relented but not before the evening reception was underway.

Another 1970s wedding in the staff social club of a then well-known mental asylum. The cars were searched on the way out to check no patients had managed to get in and hide themselves in the boots of the car.

The wedding where a family member does the catering and there are six largeish quiches for 100 people. Then for the evening buffet, the same six quiches but for 150 people.

The one where the only music was an extremely loud jazz band who didn't play anything that you could dance to and it was only appreciated by a very small proportion of the guests. Everyone else was trying to get away from the music in order to have a conversation. The bride was having a great time with her uni mates and they finally called it a day as dawn broke. The groom had retired to bed alone several hours earlier and the atmosphere was very fraught between them the next day.

warm white wine? And they did know you know, they would have smelled the alcohol on you and in the room

Warm warm wine was preferable to warm tea and highly unlikely anyone noticed the smell of alcohol - there were other guests producing hipflasks of whiskey - doubt they noticed our lightweight effort of warm white wine.

Oooh also there was the wedding where the stepfather of the bride spent the entire speech being a smug cf about how irresponsible the groom was, how poor he was and how successful he was. This is the guy who still pays his stepdaughter an allowance at 33.

Place marking

I'd never heard of two separate but unequal receptions until I read these 33 pages! Here in the States, it's one reception, open bar (unless the B&G can't afford it), and bridesmaids/groomsmen pay for their own dresses/pay to rent tuxedos.

The night before, after the wedding rehearsal, there is a nice dinner for wedding party, immediate family, and those who traveled to come to the wedding (often more fun and relaxed than the actual wedding!).

I have heard that in the Midwest, there is a "thing" called a ham sandwich wedding, where some platters of ham sandwiches are put out and there is a cash bar. When you can't afford a fancy party, you make do, and everyone invited is aware of the limited circumstances to begin with, so no one fusses. However, if you have a tiny budget, you do a small gathering with at least some food/drink, or you don't do it at all.

Seekingadvice1980 Me too!

Three day destination affair. It was perfectly well organised and the groom is an old friend and someone I absolutely adore and I hence wouldn't mention a thing to either him or his wife, but:

There was a wild mix between his side, her side, family, childhood friends, work colleagues mates from uni and neighbours and nobody really had anything much in common with apart from knowing at least one half of the couple.

Would have been perfectly fine for a usual length do, but being thrown together with a bunch of people you'll probably never meet again seemed to start feeling a little awkward for most guests after you'd met pretty much everyone and taken things as far as the rules of polite small talk allow.

My fatal mistake was to attend without a plus 1. Might have been a lot more fun.