To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

Everyone in the office thought he was mad as he didn’t need to work as everything ran smoothly without him anyway.

Well clearly you underestimated his importance! It only ran smoothly because he worked every single day of his life, God forbid he should be considered anything but indispensible!

Quite taken aback by the amount of people who simply cannot function at a social event without getting drunk.

Dont be ridiculous!

I am perfectly capable of attending any social even without drinking, and have many times. But if I am invited to a wedding (say) that is far enough away to justify an overnight stay then I will factor in having a few drinks. Or I will choose to not drink and drive home. The point is that the choice is mine. If, having already spent the money on the hotel, I find that actually the choice has been taken away and I have no choice but to stay sober, yes I will be pissed off at the wasted money!

Oh and I dont drive after one single drink, so I dont need to "get drunk" in order to not drive. One glass of wine and I wont get behind the wheel, as I would expect everyone to do.

**Friedspamfritters

I've already said, I didn't have a wedding - I didn't want the hassle of desperately trying to please everyone or being slagged off for getting it wrong.

Quite taken aback by the amount of people who simply cannot function at a social event without getting drunk.

Quite taken aback by the number of people who confuse “having a glass of wine with dinner and perhaps a good Negroni beforehand” with “getting drunk”.

Taken aback by the number of people who state that their enjoyment of an event was totally ruined because alcohol wasn't provided. I just find it odd how many people are completely reliant on drinking to have a good time.

I just find it odd how many people are completely reliant on drinking to have a good time.

I drink lassi with Indian food. I drink tea with Chinese food. I drink wine with the sort of cuisine bourgeois that weddings typically have. In each case, fruit juice is a bit shit because it is too sweet.

Similarly, there are pre-dinner soft drinks that are not shit (those things they serve on Turkish airlines in boarding) but most are ludicrously sweet.

I just find it odd how many people are completely reliant on drinking to have a good time

Posted on here about a meal I had been to and how there was 1 bottle of wine between 30 people and there was plenty left over as no one drank.

The flaming I got.

Went to two! Weddings where cards with money or vouchers in went walkabouts. So I would say have a place to stash them like a postbox and a designated person to take it all away once the evening is underway.

MyrtleWilson I just don't understand how having 2 separate receptions can be cheaper than just the one. That doesn't even remotely make any sense.

As for work colleagues, again, the issue is why not invite them to the one reception? If they aren't good enough to go to the one reception, why bother inviting them at all? Some people do say to their colleagues that they can come to the ceremony but due to tight numbers they unfortunately can't invite them to the reception. I think that is better than inviting them but making sure they know they are second class by an evening invite. After all, if you aren't close to them, why would you spend money on a drinks and 'buffet' for them? If you are going to spend money on drinks and buffet, what is the difference in that and just having them at the actual reception? If you're not close enough to them then why bother inviting them at all? Just tell them numbers are tight. Most colleagues here don't expect an invite unless close to the couple.

Not one argument I have read makes even remote sense. You cannot honestly tell me having 2 receptions, with 2 lots of food, with drinks etc is 'cheaper' than ONE reception. One reception is cheaper than 2, which would be double the cost. You just cannot honestly tell me 2 receptions with twice the food and drinks is cheaper. No person could believe that.

SalemtheBIackCat

Sit down meal is twice or three timed the cost of the evening buffet per head. Room is free if bar is charging, or same price for the whole day and night.

It’s all to do with per head costs.

@thenewaveragebear1983 "I wish I could but I can't. It's dh's brother. We have to go."

So? Just because it's his brother does not mean you both have to go. If it's not on the wedding day, then there is no obligation. See, that's the problem, that's how CFers are born because people feel they 'have' to do something. No, you do not. Take a stand. Don't enable or encourage this type of attitude. I bet others won't want to go either.

You cannot honestly tell me having 2 receptions, with 2 lots of food, with drinks etc is 'cheaper' than ONE reception

If I invite 10 people to an expensive restaurant, and then buy sandwiches for 100 people, are you saying that you think it would be cheaper to just invite all 100 to the expensive restaurant?

If you are going to spend money on drinks and buffet, what is the difference in that and just having them at the actual reception?

Buffets are cheaper than sit-down meals. I had no dog in this fight because, as I suspect I have made clear, I think evening receptions are shit and most of the faffing around of weddings are shit. But quite clearly, if you want to invite X people but cannot afford to buy them a sit down meal, buying them a buffet is cheaper even if the people who have had the sit-down meal also partake of the buffet.

@MaryLouFreebush I think you're being a bit churlish at immature by taking things to extremes. There is a difference in standing around for 3 hours with no water, no drink, no food, and no seats and guzzling yourself at home. If you genuinely can't see how ill-mannered and rude it is to invite people to something and make them stand around for 3 hours with not even water, let alone drink or food, no seats etc, then I just cannot think what to say to you. Please tell, how do you 'celebrate' something with no food or drink, not even a glass of water? No music, no seats. Nothing. You cannot be serious?

You cannot honestly tell me having 2 receptions, with 2 lots of food, with drinks etc is 'cheaper' than ONE reception. One reception is cheaper than 2, which would be double the cost. You just cannot honestly tell me 2 receptions with twice the food and drinks is cheaper. No person could believe that.

Because they don't feed the evening guests as much as the all-day ones. The British, I am myself, are very into their wedding 'breakfast', a sit down meal for the all-day guests. And then usually a buffet for the evening guests.

The big issue, in England especially, are really restrictive laws on where you can be legally married and by whom. So this hours and hours and hours wedding tradition started whereby the couple marry early, then have this 'breakfast' with the inner circle and then an 'evening do' later on.

So the wedding drags on and on.

And some people tend to lose their minds when a couple strays from this formula.

For example, one time on here an OP was going to be married at a registry office in London and then the reception was going to be afternoon tea in a hotel nearby, using the hotel's afternoon tea menu.

Cue dozens of people telling her she need to add in some 'hot' meal options because older guests 'need something hot to eat', lay on champagne or bubbly for toasts and speeches (of which she wanted neither), said that they would not attend such an event as it wasn't a 'proper' wedding, etc.

People whinge left and right about the cost of attending these all-day affairs (they are pretty boring for the most part) but then some get their arses out of kilter if it's anything other than the ceremony/reception with sit down meal/evening do set up.

@SalemtheBlackCat

I don't know if I believe there really are very many weddings like this though.

I don't know if I believe there really are very many weddings like this though.

Have you read the thread?

Taken aback by the number of people who state that their enjoyment of an event was totally ruined because alcohol wasn't provided. I just find it odd how many people are completely reliant on drinking to have a good time.
I rarely drink.
I still think it's part of hosting a wedding to provide refreshments for the guests whikst you go off and do photos for 2 hours. I still think it's part of hosting to provide drinks with the wedding breakfast. Usually that's fizz/non alcoholic fizz and wine or soft drinks with the meal.

I've been to dry weddings and enjoyed them. I don't get the whole free alcohol all night thing and have never been to an open bar wedding, but couples saving money by being poor hosts and not offering basic refreshments in line with the type of wedding is a bit tight to me.
E.g. if you're having a country house wedding with sit down meal then some fizz during the long waiting around and wine with the meal is customary because it's polite (and your guests are standing around for hours whilst you have photos and rooms are turned around etc). Not doing that seems tight to me as it scream we want a pretty venue and you all to be here but don't really want to host accordingly.

And I don't think B&G's purposely think of ways in which to cause maximum discomfort to their guests in the way that lots of posters are suggesting. It must be the fault of the venue, which of course isn't good enough but surely isn't down to the B&G's 'scheming'.

Mary
I don't think they deliberately decide to show little consideration. I think some couples get so wrapped up in the silly notion of a picture perfect wedding day that they spend more time thinking about table gems and the timing of their photos than they do about their nearest and dearest who they've invited and chosen to host.
E.g. we want... we want... we want... oh so that's fine guests can be expected to drive 40 minutes to a reception and there's no public transport links for those who've already travelled by train/plane. We want photos off site at sunset and it'll take 2 hours... oh well there's a bar and some space for guests to wait around so they'll be fine because there is a fun guest book for them to sign for us where they can get their hand covered in ink to do fingerprints but have no way of removing the ink off their hands.

Don't go then.

I agree that lots of these stories sound like yes, the guests were put out a bit & had to wait a while for food/drink etc, & that's not great.

But presumably the B&G are your friends or family, your loved ones, your nearest & dearest. So is there any need to mercilessly slag them off, criticise them, judge them - for the sake of a bit of inconvenience to you on their wedding day? It's so negative & mean. Makes you all sound like the ME ME ME characters that you're accusing B&G of being.

Gees, yes, so entitled, being invited to an all day event and expecting a drink of water and a nibble .

I still think it's part of hosting a wedding to provide refreshments for the guests whikst you go off and do photos for 2 hours.

Yep, no arguments there! The ones that I feel a bit sad about though are the ones where the couple have chosen to have a dry/teetotal wedding (through religion or personal preference) but have presumably offered non-alcoholic refreshments instead. There's been a handful of posters on this thread that find this offensive as they expect to be offered alcohol. It just seems a shame that people don't feel they can be part of a celebration unless alcohol is involved.

Most wedding venues have a bar & provide a meal.

Or just don't attend weddings.