To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

Catering fuck up where there was no vegetarian option and about 1/3 of the guests were vegetarians!

Kicked off between friends of the groom and friends of the bride at one I attended, purely over a music request. Ended in everyone (besides over night guests) being asked to leave.

Going to be a bit against the grain here.

Friends of ours got married last year. They had a private marriage ceremony with immediate family. The invite said drinks and canapes at 5pm, followed by dinner at 7pm.

They had a video of the ceremony during the canape thing. That was great.

Was also in an easy to get to town for most of the guests.

Was great. You see, there was no hiatus between ceremony and meal, because none of us were at the ceremony! Photos etc. all done before we gathered for the drinks at 5pm. All worked brilliantly IMV.

But maybe this post should be in a "Best Wedding" thread, if there is one!

We went to one on a Sunday in the middle of the New Forest. Service was 12.30pm so after photos it was 2pm. Immediate family we're going to the restaurant opposite the church but the rest of us had a gap until 5pm when we could arrive at the Manor House for the evening bit. Off we all went to find a pub for lunch except it's in the middle of nowhere and all 3 pubs had finished serving lunch. All the guests (about 50 of us) ended up standing room only in a tea room on the village square with a very confused older lady and her daughter who did an amazing job feeding us all! Must have been their busiest day ever!

We then arrived at the Manor House just after 5pm. Bride and groom arrived at 8pm. We knew one other couple from work but nobody else. First dance was 10pm. It was a long day and very disjointed.

One last year where the bride's father had obviously got his sexist, misogynistic FOB speech from the 1970's. I sat with my mouth open at the awfulness of it.

Another where the FOB's speech was a bit cringey in the way he described his daughter - made my flesh crawl.

The worst wedding I ever went to was in a beautiful hotel but 10am ceremony on a last min money saving thing. Food at 1 (I was starving and very drunk at this point) then. I thing but I very very expensive bar till 7 when the party started. It was a beautiful hotel, but just too long and a lot of people had rooms to go to so went back for a nap! Those of us who didn’t just dragged it out drinking £10 glasses of wine!
The best wedding I have every been to was in barns. Big hog roast and lovely salads and a bake off cake competition for desserts. Everyone brought there own drinks and sat on long tables. Dancing into the early hours after. It was beautiful. It was probably the cheapest one we have ever been to

One wedding where I didn't know anyone, DH knew the bride and groom. Reception was teetotal, the food inedible- we were sat at a table for 'randoms', the couple opposite us were like Jack Spratt and his wife. Baking hot day, stifling hall, only lukewarm water to drink.
At another the bride's father disappeared off to bed before the speeches, utterly bizarre.
Went to a wedding in a beautiful village church but the reception was 18 miles away and the maps given to guests were wildly inaccurate; dozens of cars driving around narrow country lanes completely lost. We arrived with most of the guests nearly an hour after the food had been served to the wedding party.

Thanks @Atalune. I wasn't going to do party bags as kids are various ages 6-16....but a snack bag each sounds great.

It astonishes me that so many of these brides and grooms seem to have an I’m alright Jack attitude and give absolutely no fucks for their guests.

Dhs brother's wedding
A bus was put on for the journey between the church and venue. It was supposed to be a vintage 'style' bus, it was absolutely filthy and black smears where getting on everyones dresses.
We weren't allowed inside the venue and and to wait outside for a hour and half (when I thought pictures where being done, they weren't)! This was in November!
The meal had no starter and the main was pie and vegetables. The beef in the pie was to chewy to eat and the vegetables were half frozen, everyone left them. We weren't told dessert was help yourself and nobody noticed them tucked away at the back until last minute , they took them away while people were still queing
They had a sweet cart they opened after dinner and everyone grabbed bags full due to still being hungry!
We then all had to go outside for pictures in the dark and cold, by this point all the children who were in the wedding party had food and mud all over them.
The bride and groom had very different friends who clearly didn't get on and it was really awkward. The night time hog roast was just dry meat in a bun.
We were all freezing the entire time due to inadequate heating in the venue.
All done in a very fancy hotel...

2 spring to mind. The first was the wedding where the photos took ages, then when we finally got to eat the photographer whisked the bride and groom away during the course of the meal because the light was just right for taking a shed load more arty pics. It seemed like the main point of the day was to provide the photographer with more content for his website. Heaven knows how many pics he took and there's probably less than a dozen on show across everyone's homes.

The other was a wedding where we were evening guests but the b&g hadn't made it clear that they were expecting everyone to go to the wedding (in a church the best part of an hour from the reception venue). Wedding breakfast overran significantly and the evening guests where shoved into a corridor to wait for the main event to be over. After a while the groom came out to inform us that the bride was angry that none of the evening guests had gone to the wedding ceremony. Apparently it meant the church was half empty and we didn't get to appreciate the (well known) choir they had booked. Guests tried to explain that they thought they were only to turn up in the evening but this wasn't accepted by the groom. Neither was there any kind of apology for the long wait to be allowed in. The groom went back in and we were finally admitted about 20 minutes later. Some guests left after the telling off from the groom. The bride ignored us all and we left much earlier that we would normally have done. The marriage lasted less than 3 years.

Think it was 2010, my DH brother was getting married in Yorkshire, stupidly expensive amount spent (well that's what was bragged) but everything seemed so tacky and done on the cheap. Bride HAD to get married in the church her parents got married in, even though she was vocally disgusted by having to par take in any of the religious rituals (I'm not religious also so suggested she have a wedding at a lovely venue where she could 'control' the rituals...obviously I was stupid for suggesting that!) she only had the wedding at the church so her mum would foot the bill imho...which she did, silly mare.
Anyway I digress, ceremony was OK but the beautiful surroundings were lost on this couple. The photos after! O what utter hell! All guests were made to stand outside in the cold in November while the photographer got to the top of the tower to take pics of us looking like pissing ants! Half the guests came down with a cold. This went on for ages! Then the party...o that was something else! A dance floor that was supposed to resemble diamonds or some crap like that on the floor...it was so tiny only a few could dance at a time on it and we had to be 'careful' when we did dance on it apparently in case of damage!!! OK!? Why have it then!
Far too many grown women as bridesmaids and men as ushers...I'm sure they outnumbered guests!
The elderly members and the grooms family were seated at the back practically around a corner from the main table (this didn't bother me as it was a great escape route but the family were a bit miffed especially as they'd forked out enough for this wedding also). The bride and groom hadn't known each other long before deciding to get hitched, he was in a long term relationship before his partner figured him out and got rid, so the best man etc speeches were a pile of jackanory.
Now I like a drink but there was far to much drink on offer here and not enough good food...no balance. It was more like a 21st birthday party than a celebration of a union. The coach picking up point was an issue...if I'd been warned where pick up points were I'd have brought my own transport or figured a taxi into the equation but by the time I tried to get a taxi they were all booked and I was stuck! Simple communication would have been helpful.
This was the worst, I've been to small and big ones but this one stands out.
Thankfully we live down south from DH family and thankfully they'd not decided to have any of their kids christened!!!

We then arrived at the Manor House just after 5pm. Bride and groom arrived at 8pm. We knew one other couple from work but nobody else. First dance was 10pm

Why do people put up with shit like this? I’d have simply left at 5.30. Well no, because I wouldn’t have gone in the first place, what with the four hour gap, but supposing I had...

Weddings, as threads like this prove, are far too often an opportunity for rude and thoughtless people to be rude and thoughtless. A bit of pushback is fine.

Friend got married at 9am, meaning we had to be seated by 8.30am. Ceremony over, they left for photos and we had to sit in the bar for around 4 hours, starving and bored shitless. No food and no free drink. Then another gap of several hours between the main meal and the evening do. Who gets married that early in the morning ffs?

Ceremony over, they left for photos and we had to sit in the bar for around 4 hours, starving and bored shitless. No food and no free drink.

It’s ok to go home, you know. Learning that it’s ok to leave at the interval if you aren’t enjoying a play or concert is liberating.

Cheap wedding, reception was in a village hall, incredibly hot summer day, no air con obvs, ventilation inadequate. food was like school dinners and extremely salty. Evening guests turned up at 7pm, bride and groom left at 9:30pm. Not enough chairs for everyone, most evening guests had to stand. Evening buffet was cheese sandwiches, sausage rolls, crisps and cheese in sticks, on paper plates covered with clingfilm. No plates for guests, food just to ‘pick at’ and ran out quickly because we were all starving.
Not a small wedding. One evening guest drove for 4 hours to be there.
Nightmare

Thank you April241. And I say this as someone that has worked in weddings for the last 10 years or more. There is a reason for the ‘traditional’ timings. Because it bloody works best!!!

Toffee. I’m really sorry but I’m trying not to laugh. That sounds ABSOLUTELY awful. You win the thread IMHO, sorry again xxx

I think you also have to be mindful about timings before the ceremony and try and not be too late. We went to one wedding in a tropical country where the wedding was held on the most beautiful plinth looking out to see. Stunning but hotter than the sun and no shade.

We were all bussed over and put out on this plinth to wait for the bride, but she was running late. We must have been standing then sitting for at least an hour and people were just dying in that heat (no shade at all). By the time the ceremony had finished people were sweaty messes.

The rest of the wedding was amazing and extremely generous with food and drinks.

My rule for weddings is always, no matter what time it starts and when you think you'll eat, ALWAYS have a sandwich before you go and ALWAYS take a snack in your handbag. I usually have a cereal bar or similar. Because standing around waiting for food is inevitable, and often the meal is at a really weird time. It's a lot easier to cope with all the other stuff if you aren't hangry.

It went on from 12 til 6 - there was the service, a drinks reception lunch, and then it ended. So nothing in the evening - no dancing or anything

What's wrong with that? Not everyone has the money to put or wants a two-tiered wedding. Britain is one of the few cultures that does that two-tiered thing. A lot of places, you get married late in the afternoon or even later to much later and go straight to the meal and reception.

I think it's great! No getting up at stupid o'clock to spend the entire fucking day and evening at a wedding. No need to spunk more money on a hotel the night before because the wedding's so damn early. No guessing if the guests have had time for lunch.

Similarly, in many places a lot of the photos are done before the wedding (again, works well if you have a wedding later in the afternoon) so there's no taking hours and hours to have them all done.

I've been to small weddings that were teetotal (the bride and groom were members of the Free Kirk of Scotland) and lovely. It was fab, ceremony at noon, to the church hall for sandwiches, sausage rolls, pork pies and plenty of other nibbles. Tea and coffee. Then cake cut and wedding over. Whew, that was great, no spending hours and hours mostly being bored, seating plans, waiting for food or food running out, listening to speeches (those are always so naff or terrible and really NO ONE CARES, they just want to eat) and best of all, no tacky cash gift requests because the couple haven't lived together before marriage.

Thinking back, I’ve been to a couple of weddings where DH and I have been seated separately on the same 6ft round table (opposite each other but no way of talking across that distance, especially with a giant flower arrangement in the way).

I really don’t want to spend the entire meal making small talk with randoms I’m never going to see again!!

I just can't understand why people don't have their photos done BEFORE the wedding. It's so rude to make people wait around for hours and completely ruins the atmosphere. Surely no one believes in all that guff about it being bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony anymore!!

My 2nd wedding: we had our reception in our local south London pub and provided food and drink - there were friends, family and work colleagues plus the pub regulars who included some characters, putting it mildly. We got two women having a fist fight - one accusing the other of being a lesbian. Afterwards the landlord of the pub came knocking at the door of our downstairs neighbour and tried to force himself on her sexually. It was certainly different.

Another one the mother of the groom was a miserable cow and hardly smiled throughout, the brother of the groom stashed food from the reception into carrier bags to take away with him because he said he was entitled to it as he'd had to fork out money for his two hour train journey