To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

Old friend from uni who we hadn't seen for some time. About 8 of us were invited to the ceremony and the evening do but not the meal.

Had to hang around in a pretty grim town all afternoon although one friend decided to gatecrash the meal. I think B & G were so shocked that they didn't say anything!

I just can't understand why people don't have their photos done BEFORE the wedding

Paying a photographer twice as most cover ore-wedding and all evening too.
Paying for hair and make up for bride AND bridesmaids twice.
Organising and bringing together multiple members of families.
The fact that photos are memories of your special day on that isn’t a day before your wedding.

Enough reasons for you!?

Oh sorry - just reread. You mean on the same day. Ignore me.

Surely no one believes in all that guff about it being bad luck to see the bride before the ceremony anymore!!

What's done is that the photos of the bride, her family, BMs, etc and the groom, his family, mates, etc. are done before the ceremony and then they only have to do the couple ones after the ceremony. Saves a lot of time.

And yy to spend hours waiting round and starving and freezing/boiling hot. We've been kept waiting for an evening do to begin and just left after an hour of standing round.

"It went on from 12 til 6 - there was the service, a drinks reception lunch, and then it ended. So nothing in the evening - no dancing or anything"

That sounds like exactly the kind of wedding that I would enjoy. In fact, back when my parents were getting married that was the norm. It's only in relatively recent times that weddings have started growing and growing until now they're bloody 3 day circuses.

Venue in a lovely part of the countryside (middle of nowhere), lovely ceremony and reception meal.

After the meal we were all shuffled into the bar so the staff could clear the tables away. We thought it was for the music later. Nope, there was no music. Actually there wasn’t anything. We all just sat in the bar for the rest of the day, no evening do. We didn’t really know anyone else and I felt really sorry for the couple of people who didn’t know anyone as we all had to sit and make small talk for hours.

No atmosphere, no music, just nothing. It was just odd. We went back to our hotel in the end.

We went to a really lovely wedding of some very dear friends of ours. Was really looking forward to it but they tweeked things a bit which just made it arduous instead. Got married in the middle of knowhere, very expensive area which neither of them had links to, so you had to stay somewhere. Literally nothing under £100 a night. Not even air b&b. Church at 12, ten mins to the venue, looooong wait until food at 5.30..... everyone sat down, then speeches before the food......was 24 wks pg and starving. Lovely food then cocktails but no non alcoholic ones then evening do at 8.30, with more food which no one ate as we’d only just eaten....then the bus back was a tenner each! I was driving so did a few trips back and forth from local town where everyone was staying.

These are really love friends of ours but it was just a bit off......I ended up nipping to the petrol station at 3pm for a sarnie.

I've been to lots of great weddings and thankfully few bad ones. I think the golden rules are:

• Don't leave big gaps of dead time where all your guests are milling about with nothing to do or drink. If there are gaps, no worries, but make sure people know where to go, and have lots to drink, canapes etc. You don't need to lay on expensive entertainment, but people do need alcohol and a nice environment at the very least.

• If you really want your wedding to be brilliant for your guests, put money into their food, drink and a decent band / dj and sacrifice things like spendy flowers and an extortionate dress.

• If guests need to go from one place to another, e.g. from ceremony or reception if you can't pay for a coach or bus then give them super clear instructions on how to get there ahead of time so nobody ends up confused on stranded.

• Try not to spend 4 hours getting posed photos done. It's time you could spend with your guests, and everyone knows natural photos are so much better than staged ones.

Congratulations. x

We aren’t having a massive wedding that’s why just simple ceremony then family and friend party in the evening. I wasn’t going to have ceremony guests but a few have said they want to go anyway so out of politeness I was inviting the rest of the family. I’ve already emailed and explained the ceremony is simple and I don’t want people putting themselves out if just attending the reception was better for them. I looked into meals but realistically it’s over budget

Why don't you have your ceremony at 5pm/5.30pm then?

The way you are planning it at the moment wouldn't get me off my sofa either I'm afraid.

@ToffeePennie 's post makes me really wonder if the bride is told how bad it was after the wedding, and/or if they realise how bad the setup was and apologise to friends/guests who were inconvenienced like this. I read so many stories on this thread (and the original one in Classics) yet have yet to read one where the bride later apologises to guests over it. Are there any?

Oh, on MN every bride declares that hers was the best wedding ever. It's only others who have shit weddings.

Went to a church wedding once, then had to go home while bride and groom had a meal with parents and aunty and uncles then reception in the evening. We lived local so not so bad but felt strange.

The bar prices at our wedding were ridiculous.Our best man bought a bottle of vodka from the off licence nearby and sold shots for a £ each and did a roaring trade apparently

After all these rubbish weddings I'm desperate for a great wedding thread.... is there one?

This thread ought to be compulsory reading for anyone planning a wedding! How can so many bridezilla's get it so very wrong when it comes to leaving their guests cold, hungry, thirsty and bored?

One major problem in the UK is that register office hours are so restricted. I'm sure all my wedding guests at both weddings have cursed me because of my 11.30am weddings but that was the latest slot I could get, even months and months in advance.

As a result, both times I went for a nice prompt lunch reception at 1 and my dm was still stressing me out at 12.30 asking me when the food was coming All done and dusted by about 4pm. Maybe not the most glamorous weddings ever but long enough IMO.

The ones that stand out are those with lack of food. Like the one with a salad butty for the main meal (no proper veggie option despite being asked on the invites) and no evening food at all, not even nibbles. 10 hours on a salad sandwich. The best ones are always informal and have plenty to eat throughout the reception. Alcohol I can take or leave, I don't really bother with it.

I wonder if anybody could over see my wedding timeline. I hope I haven't got it wrong.
2pm ceremony.
Drinks reception afterwards(one drink pp, but the bar will be open)
Dinner 3.30 (hotel originally said 3 but I think that's too early?)
No speeches, there won't be any extra drinks over dinner but the bar will be open.
Cake served as desert
Evening guests arrive from 6.30.
Ice cream truck and sweet cart.
First dance
Buffet about 8? (Not sure on timing for this, hasn't yet been discussed)

So that’s a ceremony which needs people to be in the building by 1.30, so marginal for those travelling any distance to get lunch. A mid-afternoon meal which is late if it’s lunch, early if it’s dinner; if people having children with them (you don’t say) then it’s very late for lunch if they haven’t eaten already. No wine with dinner unless you pay for it. Then hang around for a couple of hours doing...what? Then both for day and evening guests sweets and ice cream before a buffet supper.

I guess it’s OK. But it seems rather odd. Why not have the ceremony at 4.30pm, dinner at 6 and evening guests arriving from 7.30? Better for travellers, better for people with children, better for everyone.

I know the answer to all the questions, though. “Photos”.

I can't move the ceremony time and we aren't disappearing for photos.
Our guests live about half hour away. There will be a 5yr old and 10 month old baby, the rest of the children are ours.

Actually PlumpSyrianHamster I’ve seen quite a few posters on MN admitting their weddings were shit.

If all guests live close it's not so bad but my issue would be ; getting dressed up for wedding , doing hair and make up. Then going home getting in casual stuff and make up off. Then getting ready for evening. Make up back on and trying to rescue hair.
The day will be a bit odd. Sort of hanging around even though at home for next bit.

Our guests live about half hour away.

So is the plan for them to go home after the meal and come back for the evening? Or what?

My brothers wedding was pretty horrendous. After the ceremony he and my now SIL just walked off with her family and the photographer and my family just stood around like “should we be going for family photos..?” ended up losing them and found them in time for one picture. That picture the photographer demanded every glasses-wearing person take them off for “aesthetics” which was stupid and I told my DH not to abide so the end picture we look nice and my folks look squinty and awkward.

Their reception had 5 other wedding receptions going on so food and random guests were mixed up. Their entree was solely oysters so most tables went hungry for the first course. My mum is allergic to meat and poultry so her vegetarian dinner was a basic “vegetable stack” that came an hour after everyone else’s and then the guests stole the table decorations and left over wine..