To ask about the worst wedding you’ve been too

[Whereisthecoffee]

I’m planning mine and I could just ask for tips but instead I’m going to procrastinate and read stories.
Please share your stories !

User your schedule has too long mingling.

People will want canapes sooner than that and o think two hours standing around is too long. However your schedule isn't that bad as th ceremony is long enough after lunch.

Make it clear what time food will be so people have had lunch.

Seriously stressing now about my wedding. Plan was arrive 2pm - tea, coffee, biscuits available. 2:30 Ceremony. 3:30 photos and pianist plays from now till dinner (drinks Available from now on.), 5pm canapes, 5:30 dinner (buffet BBQ, no seating plan), 6:30 kids entertainer, 9 bar shuts (alcohol packed away/glasses washes), 10:00 all finished and hall floor swept.

I would make the canapés available with the drinks while you are having your photos done, from 3.30 onwards. With the best will in the world, photos will over-run, lots of people will have been travelling in the morning and not managed lunch and will have run in the door too late to have tea and biscuits before the ceremony. Bringing out canapés half an hour before the buffet is served seems a bit pointless.

Make sure the canapés include something the children will eat. Hungry, fractious children will make for irritable parents.

And I would definitely do a seating plan. Mix up both sides of the family and mix up friends but don't split couples and make sure that everyone has at least one or two other people they know and like and their table. Try to put likeminded people together. Sit the slightly older kids on a kids' table but make sure a few of the parents are on-hand to supervise from not too much of a distance.

No one will do a picnic in their nice clothes user. Or go to a drive through

The only weddings I didn't enjoy were one's where we didn't know anyone. Not the fault of the bride and groom of course but they were just boring for us. All the others I have enjoyed as it was the same as any night out with friends and family but with a good meal and some photos . I also enjoyed them more if I wasn't a bridesmaid - those were hard work!

Worst wedding I've ever been to was one I was helping my ex photograph (he's now an award winning wedding photographer but this was an early venture at this stage). He'd been asked to shoot at a colleagues wedding.

First of all we knew no one - not uncommon in wedding photography really. But it was that weird juxtaposition where he'd just started out doing wedding photos but was still seen to be part of the party, and the boundaries weren't really clearly defined as we were super young and didn't know how or what, it was total inexperience on our part and was a casual favour for the wedding party more than anything!

The wedding itself was fine, but once everyone descended to the reception things started to rapidly decline. Food was bloody awful, but loads of money was behind the bar so people were twatted before food even arrived.

The best man speech went on for 45 mins except the poor man clearly was not well versed in public speaking and was so abjectly terrible at it that it made it seem a lifetime. Think awkward pauses, zero social skills, no jokes, just a recital in a monotone voice for 45 fucking minutes. He was completely wasted which didn't help.

We were committed to staying until the first dance, except both the bride and groom were pissed and could barely stand. Still, we stayed, but left shortly after it was apparent the first dance physically couldn't happen as they were both asleep on a sofa in the foyer

As we were leaving, the hugest fight broke out between the opposing families which resulted in the police being called and FIVE people from the wedding party taken away in handcuffs. As tempting as it was, we didn't take photos of that particular bit

The bride's father's speech went on and on and on. Felt like about an hour.

@KirstyAllsoppsFatterTwin - we all have kids (friends and family) - we have 3 ourselves- so the whole event is being planned with kids in mind - canapes will include slider burgers etc.....Maybe I need to get some bags of crisps out too....on this thread somewhere is a mention retro crisps - a big box of walkers available might be helpful. Lol although I'm more partial to a tortilla chip myself. - but definitely going to bring the canapes forward. - We are hoping most the photos will be while we are chatting to the guests and having a drink rather than posed events. - I will definitely get a box of kids games in case the weather isn't good for being outside. There is to be no seating plan. People can sit where they like, eat when they like and drink when they like. (Too many family politics to try to do table plans. And the best wedding we ever went to was like this - we just sat wherever and ate whenever...food was just on the table to help yourself.)

@OlennasWimple - our do isn't 'that posh' - people can wear what they like. And believe me some of our guests (OH's drinking buddies) will definitely want to eat some junk before tucking into the booze. We also have some kids who NEED to get out and run around before being bought to a wedding (SN and toddlers with lots of energy) so I would expect the local park to be a well used stop off point. - But that's all good with us. Part of the reason of choosing the venue is that the kids can disappear off with a football for a while. A muddy child is a happy child. As long as they come back for the balloon modeller - although he's amazing and will definitely entertain me if all the kids have disappeared!

April241 don’t listen to that rude poster from earlier, 4pm is a totally normal time to eat the wedding breakfast.

We had 1.5 hours drinks reception for photos, snacks, drinks and mingling. (3pm ceremony 30 minutes, then dinner at 5pm.)

We used separate areas (no turn around) so technically we could have served dinner the minute the ceremony was over but nobody does that! Think about it, if you have friends over for dinner, you don’t frogmarch them to your dining table the minute they get their coat off! You invite them into the living room, give them a drink, serve nibbles etc, let people chat.

Married at 11am waiting around until dinner at 3 and then evening at 7. Bride, groom and their parents no where to be seen all went to their hotel room.. no entertainment. Never been so bored

bitchy proper laughing at picturing friends round for dinner and frogmarching them to the table!!!

Thank you, I've never been a wedding that's been served earlier. I've also never been to wedding that has a meal immediately after the ceremony, there's always a few hours gap. MN has some cracking stories on it, some people are from a different world entirely!

Family did the catering. Loads of food out and covered up. No one took charge and uncovered it or opened the buffet. For hours. Kids running round high in sugar after being given party bags full of sweets. Adults trying to discreetly buy bags of crisps from the bar to see them through. No speeches were heard because no one called order - I think most people didn't even know they'd happened.
When the buffet finally did open, I was careful to avoid the prawns!

user I think your wedding sounds lush!

Back up snacks for kids is a great idea. Money might not stretch but I have done party bags for the kids-

Packet of bread sticks
Babybel
Play doh tub
Paper plane kit
Pencils and notebook
Cereal bar
Mini chocolate.

Lakie awesome

Smurgy 2015

That sounds like the best wedding ever - not the usual tedious stuff

*Those brides who think they are going to be "fun and original" by seating people together who don't know each other.

DO NOT DO THIS. Put people in their family/friendship groups. This is a wedding not a bloody team building day.*

YES THIS!!! Because you can be sure you will be sitting next to the most boring people on the planet and/or small children.

Weddings are bad enough without this.

I was a bridesmaid at a friend's wedding.

There was a long wait between the ceremony and food. It was in a hotel but we weren't allowed in the main room so we were crammed in to a waiting area. The bar wasn't open until the room was open. Stood there for an hour before leaving the hotel to run to the McDonald's a few doors down to get a drink.

She had hired those singing waiters for the meal. Which was possibly the most cringy thing I have ever seen. One "waiter" kept on making mistakes and getting shouted at by his "supervisor". He did actually make a real mistake when he spilt gravy on my white cardigan. I had been in an accident a few weeks before had a huge cut on my arm and bruises all over my shoulders. He had to take my cardigan off to wash it and I was so self conscious about my arms being on show.

The man singing waiter smashed a plate which set off an argument between him and his mean supervisor which was supposed to lead in to him storming off then coming back to perform. However before he had the chance to storm off one of the more loud guests stood up to defend him and shouted at the supervisor. He then ran off and came back in to the room singing and everyone was just looking at them confused for a few seconds before realising that these people were supposed to be some sort of entertainment.

The bride was so pleased with it and was saying she loved how surprised all the guests were and it was money well spent. Most of the guests were just embarrassed by the "show" and the one who defended the waiter was mortified.

Ceremony was in a modern church on an industrial estate. Bride was visibly pregnant, smoking rollups and drinking Strongbow out of a plastic flute. Reception was at a village hall, where a cold buffet of pork pies and chips was served. Stepfather of the bride's speech went "Growing up, Felicity was challenging, now the children she's producing are also challenging, but hopefully we'll be able to put the past behind us and all get on." Then the groom's boss started a fight and it all spilled into the car park, which is about the time I decided it was time to go home.

We were there because it was my then boyfriend's friend's brother's wedding, and ex had a nice camera so the couple invited us in the hope he'd take their wedding photos for free.

Oh - and there was also the mega-Christian teetotal do in a marquee in a field in the middle of nowhere. The meal was a pot luck salad (read: 200 tubs of coleslaw) and the wedding favours were an apple each. We all had to go back the next morning to wash up the glasses so they could return them to Sainsbury's.

Be careful OP, I started this exact thread about 18 months ago and it got picked up by the daily mail!

Quite a nice wedding but the bride's dad's speech was soooooooo long that my smil and my husband's aunty got pissed as farts on the table wine. I was then left wrangling two drunk octogenarians while DH and his cousins pissed themselves laughing

I was put on the singles table at one wedding whilst all my mates, who were of course coupled up, sat together on another table. Had to sit through a three course meal and speeches sat between two blokes (we were seated boy girl boy girl) I'd never met and had no interest in. As soon as dessert was over everyone on our table got up and went to sit with their mates. Maybe it was the b&g way of trying to matchmake but it just made me feel really shit watching my mates having a great laugh together and missing out. The b&g are lovely too so don't know wtf they were thinking!

Deffo give food between ceremony and meal. A few canapés. Also check the bar price, no one wants an overly expensive bar and it builds a bad atmosphere

Worst: a gorgeous country hotel setting.
Really really long and boring ceremony, groom could hardly keep it together, bride looked like she’d attempted something really fashionable, but got it so so wrong. She looked a mess.
Awful food, appalling wait around between the service and the meal. One drink each, only options are alcoholic (I’m tee total and breastfeeding) so I can’t get a drink. Try to pay for my own at the bar “sorry, as you’re part of the wedding, this bar is closed, you have to wait.”
I had just been diagnosed with thyroid issues so I bring a few snacks and a drink in the car. As soon as I try to bring them in, I get told I can’t have them “as per the brides request”. She was told about my meidcal problems when I was diagnosed. I had to go and drive the car out of the gate and pull up in a hedge to be able to eat and drink as per my doctors orders.
Finally came back as they were just heading into the meal, to discover they’ve not sat me with my husband (the connection to the bride and groom) but instead have put me on the “singles” table and put him next to his ex girlfriend. From 15 years ago.
Thanks for that.
The food was dire, quiche, salad and bread. Tiny portions and all of it was vegetarian. And cold. For a wedding in February. When it was snowing. The room had ice forming INSIDE the windows.
I headed off to find somewhere quiet I could pump, was told there were no facilities available even though I had rang ahead. Eventually was shoved in a disabled toilet with an extension cable to the outside, and had to stop every time a disabled guest needed the loo. Which was a LOT. I ended up doing a usually 30 min pumping session taking over 2 hours. At which point most of the speeches were over.
Speeches (the two I did hear) were shocking and vulgar.
Then we were turfed out of the room and into the courtyard (it was snowing in Feb) to wait around whilst the staff “converted” the room for dancing. Except they just put the top table away and didn’t even clear the plates from the meal - why they were in there for over an hour I do not know. The music was an iPhone hooked up to speakers. It was awful. Nothing “dancy” was played. Myself and my husband left after the first dance and cutting of the cake — a gorgeous French fancy. That tasted incredibly dry and bland. It should have been a lemon and mango buttercream but it was just sweet butter and really dry.
So yeah, worst wedding I have ever been to.
Mind you a lot of people left at the same time as we did.
We still get compliments about our wedding 5 years on. It was super relaxed, loads and loads of food(there was food all day long) only 30 mins of photographs whilst my entertainment worked their way around everyone. Two rooms, one for dancing, one for eating and later the eating room was cleared to give space for those who don’t like dancing to chat and catch up.
We had a paid bar, but bought all the soft drinks and had barrels of mead for free.
No long waits, no stupidly long ceremony (20 mins and done) and loads of food and you’ll be fine!

I've not read the whole thread but I'm also planning my wedding. Duly noted that we go from ceremony to drinks and nibbles whilst the main food is prepared. Fed guests are happy guests :)

It went on from 12 til 6 - there was the service, a drinks reception lunch, and then it ended. So nothing in the evening - no dancing or anything

Nothing wrong with this - perfectly normal to have a lunchtime ceremony followed by a wedding breakfast - none of the 2 tier guest nonsense - as a PP said up thread - just have one reception rather than 2 and you are then wasting a lot less money.