My first baby and MIL

[LauraBrown1]

Okay guys AIBU? I just need to get this out there and know it's not me just being a hormonal pregnant girl.
So I'm 11 weeks pregnant and since about week 4 my partners parents went and surprised us with a pram and a play pen. I was shocked, I hadn't even given any though yet of what pram I would like and even the fact I would need one so soon! It's beautiful don't get my wrong. MIL has also bought bibs, babygrows, nappies, dummies etc... she's even had cardigans knitted (like the old fashioned type) I expected these kind of things as you usually get them as gifts from friends and family at baby showers and such. She told me how my partners grandad almost bought us this old Victorian cot from a charity shop the other week so I had to butt in and tell her to tell him not to as my parents offered to buy the cot. Our vision of our first child's baby room is exciting, as any parent-to-be would be.. we want to paint it all neutral colours like grey/ white and cream and saw some lovely light wooden colour furniture from ikea. This is our dream nursery. She's messaged me today with a picture of a BLUE rocking bed for baby.. I feel like I want to cry. We (obviously) don't know the gender yet but we've mentioned loads how we would love a little girl. Now my problem is, I feel like I'm not going to have a chance to buy anything for my baby myself. Also I'm 11 weeks pregnant! I haven't even had my first scan yet! I'm so early, and not to put a black eye on stuff but I'm not in the 'safe zone' yet. I feel like she's clearly excited as it's her first grandchild too but it's overwhelming! DP hasn't mentioned anything to her and I'm scared to bring this topic up with him.
I've just spoken to my mother on the phone and she's quite annoyed as she wanted to buy the rocker and feels as if it's so early too. What do I do? Or AIBU and stupid?

@TinyBearCub thank you for your message ❤️
I do know deep down she's wanting the best for us and doesn't want to see us go without. She's lovely , she really is.
(I'm really sorry to hear about your parents) 😕 my mams batteling her third year of Breast C and I know me giving her her first grandchild had really made her stronger.
I also think sometimes MiL gets a bit lonely , her DH works on call at all times and she doesn't see him much, that's how she ends up going out on her own to shops and such and ends up buying these things, I believe it's another thing that keeps her going too. My only wish is that she would ask me first.
Food wish I've started meal prep now, chicken rice peas and different sauces on top , this is for work then home time I have more choices for tea. I've always under ate or ate crappy food and I've realised now is the time to definitely cut it out x

@phoebebear I dealt with it by eating more. More high protein stuff. And I learned from my last pregnancy to eat a little bit more often.

Today’s snacks have been sultanas and peanuts, carrot sticks, an apple. I had a slice of pannetone for breakfast, a sandwich (chicken bacon and avocado) for lunch and just had Katsu curry for tea. Drink a lot of water.

Get your DH to tell her to STOP now! Barking mad!

My MIL was like this. Wanted to hijack my pregnancy rather than be helpful.

We told her straight. Still didn’t stop her from buying loads of charity shop loot and bags of cheap clothes (we have a small house).

We asked her especially not to get things early (because we’d have three miscarriages previously). She totally ignored this too. Turned up at ours one day and emptied piles of sale clothes out of a bin liner on to the floor :(

Anyway, because she totally ignored our wishes we didn’t feel bad giving it all to charity.

@Patienceisvirtuous May take a leaf out your book there and give all this lot back to charity as well.
How could she not be so understanding when you had been through previous miscarriages? Quite shocking , again it's like she's trying to steal your light.

I looked into the babies room before and it's just awful, not one thing in there that me and DP have chosen ourselves and to be honest it looks like a charity shop itself 🙄
I can relate when you said about a small sized house, we don't have much room either apart from babies room is quite a good size so I don't want to see it crammed with shit

@phoebebear I was always crap at eating too but honestly it makes you feel a million times better if you can get plenty in even if just grazing. I know if I slip into old habits (too busy, can't be arsed, sort of thing for me) as I soon start feeling horrendous again!

God I didn’t buy anything until 8 months. No one was allowed to give me anything until the baby arrived. Your pregnancy your rules. I did say that they were welcome to buy things, keep them in their houses, and not mention until the baby was born.

My ex MIL was like that ( that's one of the reasons she is ex MIL) I didn't get to choose which cot I wanted for DS & the crappy clothes she bought & knitted for him were awful. My family respected my wishes & waited until DS was born, ex SIL even dictated what colour the nursery was & what cot bedding was bought, I was fuming as I had already got an idea of what I wanted, but my wimp of an ex husband hadn't got the balls to tell them to mind their own business. I got all the things like "should you be eating that?" & if you had heard the intake of breath when I had the only alcoholic drink I drank whilst pregnant, you wouldn't have believed it. I had a bin liner & every piece of clothing she bought or knitted was filed in it, her knitting patterns were probably out of wartime Woman's Weekly, when did you last see a baby in knitted leggings? All the knitting wasn't even in nice baby wool, it was all the nylon scratchy stuff & in the most awful colours.