AIBU for not telling DH my first love has returned?

[sarah2014]

Okay first thread so bare with me I’m new to all this but have no idea who else to ask
Long story short 10years ago I thought I met a guy I was madly in love with, first proper bf first intimate partner etc, we only dated for 2 years when we decided to marry, however one day way before the wedding day he TEXT me saying he doesn’t love me anymore, I took the break up really badly didn’t get into a relationship for a good 3 years after this (when I met current DH) for obvious trust issues
Met DH 3 years later we are now married with 2 kids everything is great, we have good steady jobs we own a lovely house and financially are settled.
Now out for the blue I get an email from my ex, he says he really really wants to meet me he’s tried searching for me on all social networks (I use my married name hence why he hasn’t found me) and he’s managed to get my email through an old acquaintance he didn’t mention who.
He explains he’s been in jail and did a lot of thinking and how he treated me and through all 10years it’s only ever been me he’s truly loved.
I haven’t replied
I haven’t told DH
What do I do?

[MrsTommyBanks]

Delete and ignore. No good can come of getting in touch.
Tell your DH just in case he tries to contact you more directly.

[BlueCornishPixie]

Tell him to fuck off?

Then block and tell your DH, why wouldn't you tell him? I would tell him as this man has been really creepyin getting your contact details and has done jail time. I'd want my DH to know about it just in case.

[NoTeaNoShadeNoPinkLemonade]

I would wonder how many women hes tried that on OP.
If he's been locked up 10 yrs then its likely he has nowhere to go. It seems he's just looking for a place to lodge his cock.
I would tell DP about the email just so it doesnt come back to you later

[MiceSqueakCatsMeow]

Wow, what a catch. He treated you so badly he's had to find you to apologise. And he's been to prison.
And you don't know what to do?
Why do you think he's an appealing option?

[iklboo]

'I'm sorry. You're mistaking me for someone who gives a shit about you. Jog on, cocker'.

[ladyratterley]

santaclarita is spot on!

[TheFaerieQueene]

Email a photo of your wedding then block him.

[explodingkitten]

I think that you should email him, you might fall in love again, leave your children and your DH because you're back with your first love. Then plan the wedding that you wanted back then so he can dump you the day before because he doesn't even respect you.

[53rdWay]

If he really loved you and really regretted how he’d treated you, he’d be happy for you that you’d moved on and built a good life with someone else. He wouldn’t be trying to torpedo your current life.

[Pachyderm1]

Tell your ex to fuck off and block his email address. He jilted you and has been in jail - thank fuck you didn’t have to live through that!

Put the little prick from your mind and never think of him again (unless with a sigh of relief)

[Paperdolly]

Why do you need to ask? Why would you want to keep this from your husband? Are you as happy as you tell us you are?

If there’s anything missing from your relationship that you’d need this waster for then ask your husband for it or your marriage is in danger.

[Pachyderm1]

I think things are far better sorted out than left to fester or gain momentum

Genuinely, what isn’t sorted here?! What loose ends possibly need tied up?

[Puggles123]

Tell DH and also tell ex to leave you alone.

[UnicornSlaughters]

Ignore, delete, block. Tell your husband.

[OnlyFoolsnMothers]

How to ruin your life with one email....don’t tell your DH because you don’t respond

[maltharders]

The fact that you've made this thread suggest you're actually considering something other than ignoring him and telling your husband.

Why??

[oldowlgirl]

Delete & block. Also tell your DH. Why would you do anything else?

[whynotgetalong]

No good will come of staying in contact with this man OP. Tell him you're sorry for his misfortune, but you've actually spent the past 10 years realising how he had done you a massive favour because you're happily married to the love of your life with two beautiful children.Then tell your DH the ex is back.

[Littletabbyocelot]

I think I'd be polite. Something along the lines of thanking him for his apology but now you know he made the right decision, you have a wonderful DH and two fantastic kids - no regrets. You're not the same person you were 10 years ago, so don't feel the need to stay in touch but you don't have any hard feelings about how it ended.

This should be the revenge moment you wanted when it happened and hopefully no longer care about. He isn't relevant anymore

[feska5]

I’d say ‘who is this? ‘ then block him. You have a lovely life don’t jeopardise it.

[Tellem2]

He has stalker tendency, treated you like rubbish and is trying to come back. Tell your DH show him the email. It's very important as you have a trusting loving marriage. He won't be happy but he will want to protect you against this EX.

[whatacrapusername2306]

most of us will always have some sort of feelings for our first love regardless of how it all ended. so, i understand why this has caught you out a bit. however, think of how you would feel if it was your husbands ex that got in contact with him. by not telling him you instantly look guilty. your life now sounds happy, so don’t mess it up by giving the crim a second thought. an ex is always an ex for a reason.

[Quartz2208]

OP what do you want to do

Because the only sensible options are block/ignore or tell politely to leave you alone

Anything else threatens everything you have

[RebeccaWrongDaily]

what ocelot said. I had an ex track me down, he just said he wanted to apologise, he did, i wished him well, the end.

[delboysskinandblister]

I'm a bitch so I would probably reply
"Sorry who is this?"

ensure you CC your DH so you EX is VERY clear......