AIBU for not telling DH my first love has returned?

[sarah2014]

Okay first thread so bare with me I’m new to all this but have no idea who else to ask
Long story short 10years ago I thought I met a guy I was madly in love with, first proper bf first intimate partner etc, we only dated for 2 years when we decided to marry, however one day way before the wedding day he TEXT me saying he doesn’t love me anymore, I took the break up really badly didn’t get into a relationship for a good 3 years after this (when I met current DH) for obvious trust issues
Met DH 3 years later we are now married with 2 kids everything is great, we have good steady jobs we own a lovely house and financially are settled.
Now out for the blue I get an email from my ex, he says he really really wants to meet me he’s tried searching for me on all social networks (I use my married name hence why he hasn’t found me) and he’s managed to get my email through an old acquaintance he didn’t mention who.
He explains he’s been in jail and did a lot of thinking and how he treated me and through all 10years it’s only ever been me he’s truly loved.
I haven’t replied
I haven’t told DH
What do I do?

[WrenDouglas]

Block him. Delete the message. Tell your husband.

I know that it’s tempting to think that you’ll get something you need from him, an explanation or closure or the chance to tell him to fuck off but seriously this guy has NOTHING good to give you. Ignore him and give the person who passed on your contact details a bollocking!

[TinyTimsCrutch]

MRex's reply and show Dh. I would worry that by not replying he might think you hadn't got the email and would try other ways to contact you.
Just nip it in the bud and then block

[FridgeFullOfChocolate]

Did you really need the wisdom of mumsnet for this one?

Block, ignore and carry on with your happy life with your husband and children.

[BaconPringles]

Fridge 😂

[MyKingdomForBrie]

The fact that you're asking and that you haven't told dh suggests you're not really happy in your current relationship and still have yearnings for the (twat) ex.

That's a real shame and I hope by some miracle you have the sense to ignore the email.

[delboysskinandblister]

This...

[DailyMailDontStealMyThread]

Ignore

And tell your DH

And then block

Think of it in reverse and the above is what I’d want my DH to do.

[BastardGoDarkly]

Well, I guess you're not coming back.
But yeah, you'd have to be mad to engage with this bloke.

[sarah2014]

WOw okay just got time to sit and read through all the responses thank you everyone, without a shadow of a doubt I would never even consider meeting him or leaving my husband, I thought I was in love with my ex at the time but being with my husband I do think it was more lust and the fact he was “the first”
I replied back and asked he delete my email, I also Mentioned I’d got over what he did and moved on and forgiven him, his reply has freaked me out more
He’s sent a picture of us together and said look I never forgot you, this picture is over 10years old he also says he kept them ALL
All implying I believe x rated ones we took - before judging I was young and stupid
I’m really really freaked out now, I haven’t replied since but he’s sent another already saying he was in my town recently and wondered what I was doing (he lived 40miles away from me)
My DH moved away for a job so I’m actually over 100miles from my hometown, but my family are still there.
I know telling DH would be easiest but seriously I think he would freak - esp now he’s sending pictures. When I first met my DH it took a VERY long time for me to fully commit I honestly was so scared he would do the same I didn’t make the relationship easy, he knew my past and he didn’t stop trying, now years later here we are and I feel like me telling him about this will be just the worst.
I also never told DH about the pictures etc we did together didn’t ever think i needed to, so that’s another thing I really don’t want to be discussing

[LutherLover]

You need to tell your DH in case things escalate here. What if this gets worse and you then need to tell him further down the line. How will that look?

Your DH should understand about the pictures. Everyone has a past, he must know you had partners before him.

[MrsElijahMikaelson1]

Tell your DH and he loses the power you are giving him

[AornisHades]

Is he attempting to blackmail you?

[DailyMailDontStealMyThread]

Tell your DH

We all have a past

[bringbacksideburns]

Firstly type what is further up which you should have done instead of going on about forgiving him :

"I'm happily married with two children, so I won't keep in touch but best of luck for the future."

Secondly block.him on absolutely everything and warn any mutual friends or family not to give him any info if he contacts them.

Thirdly tell your DH asap. You have no idea what he was in prison for and have young kids for God's sake.

Do NOT enter into any other dialogue other than the above.

[losingfaith]

Tell your DH. If things escalate and your Dh finds out he may think you've deleted messages. Just ignore your ex. He is trying to get a rise / response out of you. You don't need crap like that that treated you poorly back in your life especially if he is going to send thinly veiled threats in an attempt to intimidate you - revenge porn is a crime.

[Neverender]

I'd have a chat with him - but only for you. Explain why he isn't what you want and lay some ghosts to rest. It might be a good thing and you'll realise he has no power.

[FunkyKingston]

10 years it’s only ever been me he’s truly loved

I bet be told big Kev from C wing a different story in the shower block.

[MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig]

You have to tell your husband. He has a right to know, especially as a previous poster said, you have children and you don’t know what he was in prison for. You need to consider their safely too now.

[Letsmoveondude]

Sounds like you had a really lucky escape. I’d leave no doubt in his mind that I’d moved way on, and that he wasn’t to contact you again.

[delboysskinandblister]

I bet be told big Kev from C wing a different story in the shower block.

Big Kev is actually 'Mavis' on treat nights..

[Hotterthanahotthing]

You must tell your OH,you had the trust problem not him.
Now you have to trust him, show the emails to him.He needs to know because you're sounds manipulative.Unless there is a reason you really can't tell your dh that you aren't telling us about.
If he treated anything about pictures again you could call 111 for advice.

[OhDearGodLookAtThisMess]

Block him. Straightaway. I don't like the sound of that jibe about having kept "all" the photos.

But also tell your husband. Then forget about it.

[SleepingStandingUp]

Tell DH that an ex has messaged you, you explained that you didn't want any contact and thought no. Ore of it. However he's kept replying and you feel creeped out by his message.
Show him the message then block it.

If you feel he's threatening to do something with the photos keep copies of the email and speak to the Police.

[moredoll]

Delete and block. Bit scary he's still got your photos. You'll have to tell your DH.

[Beeziekn33ze]

Tell him nothing, a pity you replied. He'd love to stalk you to show his 'love'.
You do need to tell your husband he's sniffing around. Your family won't respond to the creep if he contacts them, will they?