CF parent demanding money

[ChickenPieBumFace]

I'll try and keep this brief. Last year just before Xmas DD11 was getting changed from PE and her skirt was gone. She got upset as we were due to meet her brother after school, so several friends offered their PE skorts. One actually bought some over. But then her BF said she would go home in her PE kit so that she could borrow a skirt and still be able to go out and meet her little brother. Skorts are folded and girl is thanked but have a skirt now. Skirt is later returned to BFF.
So DD skirt turns out to have been picked up accidentally by another pupil who says for weeks that she will bring it back in and now, 2 weeks into the new term is saying she doesn't actually have it etc. Last week I called into the school to ask reception if there was anything they could do, maybe have a word with the girl and ask her to bring it in, but stated I was unsure there was much the school could do in reality.

Anyway, I have just been woken by a text from the mum of the girl who offered her skorts, but was not taken up on it. This mum works at the school in the office. She has said that she wanted to give me the heads up. Her daughter cannot find her skorts and is holding my DD responsible. She has spoken with one of the teachers and that they have agreed between them that I will have to buy a new pair (£25) and replace them as it is my daughters fault. Now I have a problem with this on a few levels. Firstly if the school are dealing with it, why text me throwing around decisions that have been made without any consultation. Certainly don't have both sides of the story. And at midnight! Secondly I don't agree (having now read the texts between the girls) that my DD is responsible. And finally is this favouritism? I asked the school to deal with an identical problem and heard nothing back. The woman who works there has used her position to demand a new skort. Don't know if this makes a difference but this is a private school. My DD has a scholarship as I could never afford to send her otherwise. I do feel like I am not in a position to rock the boat (I still pay 50%) but want to report her unprofessional behaviour to the school. and ask that if they want to demand it of me, they should demand it if the girl who took my DDs skirt. My DD is adamant that she told the girl that she didn't need her skorts (she definitely was wearing a skirt because I was mad she had lost it on this day and we have pictures from her with her brother). She is also adamant that she has seen this girl in the skorts since as this has only been raised this week. AIBU to think this mum is a Cheeky fucker. Her text was very conclusive. We have decided at the school you are to buy new skorts. We will of course return (not refund) the new skorts if the old ones turn up. We expect you to sort this out etc. Sorry it got long (and a bit first world problems) but I am furious

Place marking for this!

Hope the meeting goes well.

Another checking back for an update....

Also blatantly place marking .....

Just checking on news of the skirt/skort saga!

Hi OP
Hope you were able to meet with the head today.

Oh dear, I bet CF has been worried today!
I agree with the other PP, stand your ground when you speak to the head.

Hope you managed to speak to the head and get some sort of resolution OP.

Waiting unashamedly for an update.

Skirting round the issue, hoping for an update

This is bonkers....there’s no way a school would get involved in this sort of malarkey. There’s a reason they tell you to name everything. Plus - stuff going missing is a fact of school life; you’d need at least another full time person employed to deal with the sheer volume of it! Hope you get a satisfactory response from the head....

It's extremely dull reading a whole lot of "placemarking" posts. Just come back later and check ffs!

Any news, OP?

Hi everyone. Sorry to keep you hanging. I have an update. Will post when I get home shortly.

Another well done to @multivac for coming back to say sorry and best wishes for your own situation.

I don't think I've ever heard of staff ever getting involved with missing uniform, except to put it in the lost property box. At the end of the year, anything still left that was of help to the disaster drawer would be transferred to it (disaster drawer was the name one of the TA's came up with for the collection of spare knickers, pants, socks, trousers and skirts that inevitably will be needed once in a while by some of the younger members of the student body...

hurry up OP the suspense is stopping me from going downstairs to make tea!

When I called the school this morning the receptionist said she needed details of the complaint or the head wouldn't call me back. I now realise she was fishing. I had to chase this afternoon as I hadn't heard back and was directed to the head of year. She initially tried to minimise with a breezy "oh I believe the skorts have been found and nobody has to pay anything". I said nicely convenient but utterly irrelevant. That my complaint was about the staff member and not the issue around skorts. And not to muddy the waters. She said she would speak to PE teacher and call me back. Whilst waiting for the call I spoke to DD, who said PE teacher had approached her this morning and again said she would be getting a bill for the missing skorts. Hmm, so they are still missing then! Anyway I called back to update head of year and asked her why, when I asked to speak to the head was I diverted to head of year. She said that as the issue was relating to a yr1 pupil it was for her to deal with. I said it isn't pupil related it is staff related. As such I want a face to face meeting with the head, who I expect to be fully appraised of the situation. She will call me back tomorrow to arrange this. Apparently.

Anyway I then went to pick my daughter up who had overheard the receptionist and the PA taking outside and complaining that "she is tarnishing my reputation". I now see that they are attempting to close ranks and divert this from the head. They have been buying time. As far as I am concerned it makes no difference as the evidence and behaviour speaks for itself. All she is doing is bringing her colleagues down with her.

Tarnishing her reputation? She's doing that very nicely all by herself!

Blimey I think I would have parked myself outside the Heads door at that point...

they sound like a right bunch!

Wow. I would refuse to discuss any issue with anyone at the school from now on, just be a broken record and ask for the Head. They aren't keeping anything confidential if your daughter hears it being discussed. Hope this lands the PA in a wholr heap of crap for what she has done. Abusing her position and colluding with staff is disgusting.

Do private schools have boards of any sort? Just wondering who you can go to direct if you can't get in touch with the Head?

Good luck. I had a similar event at a school.
My overriding concern at this point was would my daughter be bullied by her peers. My daughter is very right and wrong and wanted justice and said she would deal with the her peers (year 6 age 11). Hopefully your daughter will be of a similar nature as these teachers may try to make life difficult, although hopefully they will learn that you are a force to be reckoned with and will not try to bully you or her in future.
It's not about the clothing anymore is it?

They're compounding the unprofessionalism at every turn. I imagine the Head will take a dim view of both the PA's behaviour as well as the Receptionist's. At least, I hope so. This is why some Heads prefer not to employ parents of children in the school as staff.