CF parent demanding money

[ChickenPieBumFace]

I'll try and keep this brief. Last year just before Xmas DD11 was getting changed from PE and her skirt was gone. She got upset as we were due to meet her brother after school, so several friends offered their PE skorts. One actually bought some over. But then her BF said she would go home in her PE kit so that she could borrow a skirt and still be able to go out and meet her little brother. Skorts are folded and girl is thanked but have a skirt now. Skirt is later returned to BFF.
So DD skirt turns out to have been picked up accidentally by another pupil who says for weeks that she will bring it back in and now, 2 weeks into the new term is saying she doesn't actually have it etc. Last week I called into the school to ask reception if there was anything they could do, maybe have a word with the girl and ask her to bring it in, but stated I was unsure there was much the school could do in reality.

Anyway, I have just been woken by a text from the mum of the girl who offered her skorts, but was not taken up on it. This mum works at the school in the office. She has said that she wanted to give me the heads up. Her daughter cannot find her skorts and is holding my DD responsible. She has spoken with one of the teachers and that they have agreed between them that I will have to buy a new pair (£25) and replace them as it is my daughters fault. Now I have a problem with this on a few levels. Firstly if the school are dealing with it, why text me throwing around decisions that have been made without any consultation. Certainly don't have both sides of the story. And at midnight! Secondly I don't agree (having now read the texts between the girls) that my DD is responsible. And finally is this favouritism? I asked the school to deal with an identical problem and heard nothing back. The woman who works there has used her position to demand a new skort. Don't know if this makes a difference but this is a private school. My DD has a scholarship as I could never afford to send her otherwise. I do feel like I am not in a position to rock the boat (I still pay 50%) but want to report her unprofessional behaviour to the school. and ask that if they want to demand it of me, they should demand it if the girl who took my DDs skirt. My DD is adamant that she told the girl that she didn't need her skorts (she definitely was wearing a skirt because I was mad she had lost it on this day and we have pictures from her with her brother). She is also adamant that she has seen this girl in the skorts since as this has only been raised this week. AIBU to think this mum is a Cheeky fucker. Her text was very conclusive. We have decided at the school you are to buy new skorts. We will of course return (not refund) the new skorts if the old ones turn up. We expect you to sort this out etc. Sorry it got long (and a bit first world problems) but I am furious

If there are fb pic of the other girl wearing these things after said losing date i would screenshot them.

Place marking to find out what happens tomorrow. Hope the Head is reasonable OP, YADNBU!

Following for tomorrow’s outcome. YADNBU

God back when I was in school I'm only 25 btw my mum just murdered me if I lent things out she would ask me to ask for it back but when I used to come back and say they have lost it she just used to whine at me and give me evils for a good while. Not chase around parents nd kids lol my mum was never one to talk to other mums though just like me. Worse one was when I lent my mums over £100 hair straighteners to my lad mate she was not best pleased with that, never got them back either until I brought her some ghds when I was 17., she would keep bringing it up saying that I owned her a new pair... Not my mate but me lol. Clothes I used to get well instead of buying you new nice clothes it's going on school uniform you've lost.
My 6 year old I'm constantly buying more jumpers for him as they get lost or taken home by others. My worst was I brought him new trainers for football and a kid hid just the one took three weeks to find it in the school.
My mind is buy cheap because kids just don't know about money and stuff at that age so I wouldn't pay £25 on a skirt short thing.

What is skort?

What is skort?

Its like a normal PE skirt, with a pair of shorts built in, so no need for PE knickers. Hence the name skort, a cross between skirt and shorts.

Let her boss know. Unnacceptable behaviour and abuse of position. Be very calm but tell her boss everything.

Apologies if I've missed this, but why would your DD need to borrow a skort? Presumably she'd just taken her own skort off after PE, so could have just put it back on again (if the offer of a skirt hadn't been made)?

Ditto Mumoflove. It's unprofessional.

Being on a scholarship makes no difference; you're no different to any other parent and if this woman worked at my private school she would be in massive trouble for this

Holy shit and that teacher would be dead meat for doing that to the daughter at my school! Hope the cow gets her arse kicked

Maybe call her bluff in return and email the school (bit not her)saying you're not quite sure why but understand that you are required to pay for another child's missing skort - could you please get an official invoice for that so that you can make the payment..

I too would do this or contact the school saying you understand this is now the process and please can you clarify how to make your own claim.

The text is either from the mum being a CF (and most likely without backing of school) or the daughter of CF who has lost skort and borrowed mums phone. If you get any more texts from that number I would just reply that you will be discussing with school on Monday as pps have said (also as pps have said, if it isn't daughter it will nicely scare the shit out of the CF mother)

@Land0r exactly she had her own.
@lauramaywharton I am of the same mind. An earlier poster asked if I had already got a new skirt. I haven't yet because I am taking a stand with my daughter. At the time she was blaming everyone else, not my fault blah blah blah. My position was that ultimately it was her responsibility. So I informed the school and my DD that I would not be purchasing another skirt until the beginning of a new school year. And that until then she would have to be responsible for Washing the same skirt mid week. I have no intention of not purchasing a new one, but will be leaving it for a long enough period of time that she understands and feels some consequence. The more I think about it though, the more the situation about the skirt is neither here nor there. I've lost one. She lost one. Shit happens. It's the contact and approach that are inappropriate and need addressing. I won't be bullied and as a minimum would want an apology from the two people involved at the school. A free skirt would be a bonus 😂😂. I'll ensure I keep the post updated tomorrow and thanks everyone for your comments.

Oh! I thought Skorts was a typo. 😂 didn’t know such a thing existed!!

Thank Gawd!

Not just me, then!

I think both you and your dd are being bullied here OP - the treatment of your dd by some of her 'friends', and the treatment of you both by certain adults in positions of authority.

My DD has a scholarship as I could never afford to send her otherwise. I do feel like I am not in a position to rock the boat (I still pay 50%) but want to report her unprofessional behaviour to the school
You and your dd are NOT lesser human beings who deserve to be picked on just because your dd's place is half funded by a scholarship!
Insist on this being dealt with professionally and officially.
Going soft on these bullies will only set a precedent.

'Friend'3 could have easily checked her bag/clothes and would have seen she had your dd's skirt, so this whole thing could have been avoided.
She didn't...and then forgot/lost it after stringing your dd along....how have things really been between your dd and her since?
It's possible your dd is blaming F3 for the loss and having to 'wait' for a new skirt? Or maybe they've been mocking her, picking on her for being 'to poor' to buy a replacement asap?
This other girl seems to be using a (made up) similar tactic on your dd - accusing her of theft and holding her responsible for buying replacements despite knowing dd's isn't being replaced asap

I remember what my teen frenemies were like at school and I definitely think there's some bullying going on amidst the usual friendship rivalry.

In the short term, I wouldn't be too concerned about the time you received the text. Our Postie reckons he received one from me at 3am ish in the morning yet I had sent it the previous afternoon! We live in an appalling signal area.

Of course if you hear she and others were up having a wine at that hour, then take it further up the pecking chain at school, that is inappropriate!

Secondly re the skorts. Have either parent considered there might be a 3rd party doing the nicking? Someone who doesn't have a uniform (or a spare) and who hasn't been taught to keep their fingers to themselves. My Daughter had her sandals stolen from outside the classroom years ago (rules of the classroom to take off your shoe wear before entering) and it took about 3 weeks for them to be returned. Teacher knew who did it but school failed to follow through. Excuse was student thought they were hers so put them in her bag and then didn't return them. I ended up having to buy another pair for daughter to wear and no one reimbursed me for either pair. Argh!

Blatant placemarking for updates! Good luck x

The nerve of some people! Don't give in OP.

I called the school this morning to make appointment with headmaster. Was told I would need to speak to his PA. I had to explain that it was a sensitive issue involving PA so would prefer if she could get him to call me. She is going to speak to him when she can and hopefully I can see him this afternoon. I'll post updates.

Hope you get things sorted today.

At Primary School my DD's plimsolls would disappear on the first day on term and miraculously re appear on the last day - presumably because they weren't needed anymore by CF who nicked them!
In the end I just bought 3 pairs - that way I figured she would have a chance of finding one of them! (nb they were only £3 at the time and it saved her being told off by the teachers every day for not having any!)
We left that school - I didn't particularly enjoy hearing one parent telling the reception teacher to to F..... off in the playground in front of all the kids for daring to ask if us parents had any wellies they might be able to bring in the next week so they could go on a nature walk :(

Good luck

Hope it goes well OP

blatantly place-marking.

I am gripped by skort-gate! Good luck OP