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AIBU?

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CF parent demanding money

707 replies

ChickenPieBumFace · 19/01/2019 01:21

I'll try and keep this brief. Last year just before Xmas DD11 was getting changed from PE and her skirt was gone. She got upset as we were due to meet her brother after school, so several friends offered their PE skorts. One actually bought some over. But then her BF said she would go home in her PE kit so that she could borrow a skirt and still be able to go out and meet her little brother. Skorts are folded and girl is thanked but have a skirt now. Skirt is later returned to BFF.
So DD skirt turns out to have been picked up accidentally by another pupil who says for weeks that she will bring it back in and now, 2 weeks into the new term is saying she doesn't actually have it etc. Last week I called into the school to ask reception if there was anything they could do, maybe have a word with the girl and ask her to bring it in, but stated I was unsure there was much the school could do in reality.

Anyway, I have just been woken by a text from the mum of the girl who offered her skorts, but was not taken up on it. This mum works at the school in the office. She has said that she wanted to give me the heads up. Her daughter cannot find her skorts and is holding my DD responsible. She has spoken with one of the teachers and that they have agreed between them that I will have to buy a new pair (£25) and replace them as it is my daughters fault. Now I have a problem with this on a few levels. Firstly if the school are dealing with it, why text me throwing around decisions that have been made without any consultation. Certainly don't have both sides of the story. And at midnight! Secondly I don't agree (having now read the texts between the girls) that my DD is responsible. And finally is this favouritism? I asked the school to deal with an identical problem and heard nothing back. The woman who works there has used her position to demand a new skort. Don't know if this makes a difference but this is a private school. My DD has a scholarship as I could never afford to send her otherwise. I do feel like I am not in a position to rock the boat (I still pay 50%) but want to report her unprofessional behaviour to the school. and ask that if they want to demand it of me, they should demand it if the girl who took my DDs skirt. My DD is adamant that she told the girl that she didn't need her skorts (she definitely was wearing a skirt because I was mad she had lost it on this day and we have pictures from her with her brother). She is also adamant that she has seen this girl in the skorts since as this has only been raised this week. AIBU to think this mum is a Cheeky fucker. Her text was very conclusive. We have decided at the school you are to buy new skorts. We will of course return (not refund) the new skorts if the old ones turn up. We expect you to sort this out etc. Sorry it got long (and a bit first world problems) but I am furious

OP posts:
RebootYourEngine · 21/01/2019 18:40

If you have time tomorrow i would go into the school and sit there until you see the head.

danceyourselfsilly · 21/01/2019 18:40

wow - firstly well done OP
receptionist - way out of order (CF no 2)
and are they really so stupid to talk where your daughter can hear them - don't they know what your daughter looks like FGS?
Hope for your sake they are not friends with head as well - although I doubt it as I suspect that was why CF no 2 was fishing..
head definately is the only way to go.. good luck

UrsulaPandress · 21/01/2019 18:46

I’m sure there will be a board of governors.

Transpeaked · 21/01/2019 18:48

Shamelessly placemarking for skort-gate.

And don’t speak to anyone except the head teacher (guessing you wouldn’t now things have begun to unfold)

Notwiththeseknees · 21/01/2019 18:50

Surely the head has a direct email address. If it's not publicised, ask the receptionist for it. She can hardly say no.

danceyourselfsilly · 21/01/2019 18:52

PE teacher and head of year are CF's 3 & 4...nightmare

RiverTam · 21/01/2019 19:03

Insist on meeting with head tomorrow and/or escalation, thanks to diversionary tactics of other members of staff.

Penguincake · 21/01/2019 19:09

If you do not get to see the Head this week. Write to the Chair of Governors explaining everything that has happened and that the PA is stopping you from contacting the Head.

If she does this with you, what else has she done and stopped the Head finding out about?

Cheby · 21/01/2019 19:11

This is dreadful OP! Please do persist in asking to see the head.

ChickenPieBumFace · 21/01/2019 19:15

I was thinking about it and when I asked the head of year why I was talking to her when I asked for the head, her answer was because it is a yr1 issue. Now if she had said because Mr Headteacher asked me to deal with it, then Fair enough. But the fact that she didn't say that definitely points towards it being a blatant attempt to shut it down and divert from him. I do have his direct email, but assume PA will have access to it. I would prefer to not give away my hand to her. Although I suspect that she already knows she is up shit creek!
WRT my daughter overhearing. It was dark and a few people milling around about 5pm. I think they were just lax and it was bloody bad luck that DD was there. So yeah, PE teacher is CF2, receptionist CF3 and head of year potentially CF4, but possibly not. Depends on her actions tomorrow. From experience, friends at work don't tend to go out on a limb when their own job is at risk. So I'll reserve judgement on her until tomorrow.

OP posts:
Pinot4me · 21/01/2019 19:22

If you don’t have any joy you should contact the board of governors....good luck!

Princesspeachy0 · 21/01/2019 19:27

Shock good luck 2moro OP

StormySunshine · 21/01/2019 19:32

Stick to your guns, OP. They are trying to close ranks without the Head ever being appraised of the goings on. The Board of governors should definitely be your next step if you can't get through. Good luck!

Drum2018 · 21/01/2019 19:35

Shocking behaviour all round. Hope you get things sorted satisfactorily tomorrow.

angieloumc · 21/01/2019 19:36

Absolutely unprofessional from the CF and PE teacher, hope you get it sorted tomorrow. It definitely isn't about the skort anymore.

Blondephantom · 21/01/2019 19:52

I would be tempted to ask at reception for a copy of the school complaints procedure. I’d also email the head stating I had requested a meeting with him/her and that I’d escalate to the head of governors if I had not received a reply by lunchtime tomorrow including a print out of the email. That should stop the PA from pulling anything.

billybagpuss · 21/01/2019 19:59

Slightly irrelevant, but did your DD's skirt ever turn up?

user1480870781 · 21/01/2019 20:06

Shamelessly placemarking.....Can’t wait to see what happens tomorrow.

ChickenPieBumFace · 21/01/2019 20:09

@billybagpuss no. The kid who had it is suddenly in denial and says she doesn't have it. When I mentioned it to the school last week before any of this I was extremely reasonable. Made sure that they knew that I knew they couldn't actually do anything more than send a note out to the class and ask the other girls to check. It made the PAs position even more cheeky fuckery!

OP posts:
Pfingstrose · 21/01/2019 20:10

Agree with those who said she was probably pissed when she sent the original text!

BlahBlahRidiculous · 21/01/2019 20:10

Very interested to see what happens!

GhostHoward · 21/01/2019 20:11

Placemarking with a bucket of popcorn for skort-gate!

BumbleBeee69 · 21/01/2019 20:15

omg I am speechless at the manipulation of this schools staff OP. Credit to you for your calm demeanor in handling this.

and yes I am over invested Hmm

good luck tomorrow Flowers

IamPickleRick · 21/01/2019 20:17

The PE teacher has twice mentioned to your DD about a bill for a skirt? Honestly, don’t these teachers have any actual teaching to do?

If you don’t get much joy through the traditional route then I would email head and CC a governor

HaulingFreight · 21/01/2019 20:23

Good luck tomorrow OP

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