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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF parent demanding money

707 replies

ChickenPieBumFace · 19/01/2019 01:21

I'll try and keep this brief. Last year just before Xmas DD11 was getting changed from PE and her skirt was gone. She got upset as we were due to meet her brother after school, so several friends offered their PE skorts. One actually bought some over. But then her BF said she would go home in her PE kit so that she could borrow a skirt and still be able to go out and meet her little brother. Skorts are folded and girl is thanked but have a skirt now. Skirt is later returned to BFF.
So DD skirt turns out to have been picked up accidentally by another pupil who says for weeks that she will bring it back in and now, 2 weeks into the new term is saying she doesn't actually have it etc. Last week I called into the school to ask reception if there was anything they could do, maybe have a word with the girl and ask her to bring it in, but stated I was unsure there was much the school could do in reality.

Anyway, I have just been woken by a text from the mum of the girl who offered her skorts, but was not taken up on it. This mum works at the school in the office. She has said that she wanted to give me the heads up. Her daughter cannot find her skorts and is holding my DD responsible. She has spoken with one of the teachers and that they have agreed between them that I will have to buy a new pair (£25) and replace them as it is my daughters fault. Now I have a problem with this on a few levels. Firstly if the school are dealing with it, why text me throwing around decisions that have been made without any consultation. Certainly don't have both sides of the story. And at midnight! Secondly I don't agree (having now read the texts between the girls) that my DD is responsible. And finally is this favouritism? I asked the school to deal with an identical problem and heard nothing back. The woman who works there has used her position to demand a new skort. Don't know if this makes a difference but this is a private school. My DD has a scholarship as I could never afford to send her otherwise. I do feel like I am not in a position to rock the boat (I still pay 50%) but want to report her unprofessional behaviour to the school. and ask that if they want to demand it of me, they should demand it if the girl who took my DDs skirt. My DD is adamant that she told the girl that she didn't need her skorts (she definitely was wearing a skirt because I was mad she had lost it on this day and we have pictures from her with her brother). She is also adamant that she has seen this girl in the skorts since as this has only been raised this week. AIBU to think this mum is a Cheeky fucker. Her text was very conclusive. We have decided at the school you are to buy new skorts. We will of course return (not refund) the new skorts if the old ones turn up. We expect you to sort this out etc. Sorry it got long (and a bit first world problems) but I am furious

OP posts:
HappySeven · 23/01/2019 15:36

Breakfast, the OP thinks the child needs 2 clean skirts a week and so needs to launder the only one she has mid-week to make it last. I assume the OP does the washing at the weekend as she always did.

PanamaPattie · 23/01/2019 15:37

My understand is that the skirt is washed twice in a week. The weekend and Wednesday evening.

Aventurine · 23/01/2019 15:38

I assumed the op washes it at the weekend and the midweek wash is instead of sticking it in the wash and wearing the other one.

ChickenPieBumFace · 23/01/2019 15:43

@BreakfastAtSquiffanys DD can be a little careless scruffy little sod with her uniform. Hence the need for 2 skirts for the week. One mon-wed and then one for thu-fri. I don't mind doing the usual weekend washing of uniform but the extra mid week wash needs to be done by her, as it is her responsibility that one skirt has to last all week. I will get her a new one at the end of the month but until then it's down to her to maintain her presentation at school.

OP posts:
BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 23/01/2019 15:46

I see, and I have unintentionally revealed myself as a slattern who would eke an entire week's wear out of a laundered skirt.

Aventurine · 23/01/2019 15:50

Smile I only had one skirt when i was at school and it was fine. Mine sometimes spill stuff on it or fall in mud when going down a steep hill in the park on the way home so they have two.

Tiddler7 · 23/01/2019 15:50

Penny I find my DD's tights from Primark are way softer than M&S, so maybe your DM knew what she was doing..?

PolkaDoting · 23/01/2019 15:53

Thank god for Trills's summary, I was lost! Grin

danceyourselfsilly · 23/01/2019 15:57

My DD has managed to get 2 weeks out of a skirt max before now! but it is very hit and miss (literally with lunch and or snacks)
(joining in time wasting)

RiverTam · 23/01/2019 16:03

I think my skirt (just the one) and jumper (maybe 2?) were washed perhaps once a half term...

MaidofEyes · 23/01/2019 16:06

OP, you can still buy those shrumpers, Next definitely has some www.next.co.uk/g5294s4#917571 although rather wisely they don't call them shrumpers.

Megs4x3 · 23/01/2019 16:13

Will be thinking if you at 4.30 op.

ChickenPieBumFace · 23/01/2019 16:25

@MaidofEyes mine had a collar too. The full faux shirt effect 😆. Next are missing a trick not calling them shrumpers though. I'm at reception now. Here goes

OP posts:
livingdownsouth · 23/01/2019 16:32

Good luck op. Mumsnet are with you in spirit!

danceyourselfsilly · 23/01/2019 16:37

oh my goodness I was supposed to post a letter but I can't leave now....

Romanmonkey · 23/01/2019 16:40

Good luck OP!

Kelsoooo · 23/01/2019 16:45

Woahhhh hope it went well today

Littletabbyocelot · 23/01/2019 16:49

I'm upset to learn that I own a shrumper (from Next). Normally get compliments on it too but I'll never look at it the same way again

ClaireElizabethBeauchampFraser · 23/01/2019 16:51

Good luck!

Havana7 · 23/01/2019 16:53

Good luck OP!

RiverTam · 23/01/2019 17:04

Best of British, OP!

user1480870781 · 23/01/2019 17:08

Good luck.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 23/01/2019 17:09

I'm ready dance

CoraPirbright · 23/01/2019 17:11

Hope it goes well OP & that you manage to get all the points across that you want.

mytieisascarf · 23/01/2019 17:16

This thread has increased my blood pressure no end. Good luck at the meeting op.

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