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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

CF parent demanding money

707 replies

ChickenPieBumFace · 19/01/2019 01:21

I'll try and keep this brief. Last year just before Xmas DD11 was getting changed from PE and her skirt was gone. She got upset as we were due to meet her brother after school, so several friends offered their PE skorts. One actually bought some over. But then her BF said she would go home in her PE kit so that she could borrow a skirt and still be able to go out and meet her little brother. Skorts are folded and girl is thanked but have a skirt now. Skirt is later returned to BFF.
So DD skirt turns out to have been picked up accidentally by another pupil who says for weeks that she will bring it back in and now, 2 weeks into the new term is saying she doesn't actually have it etc. Last week I called into the school to ask reception if there was anything they could do, maybe have a word with the girl and ask her to bring it in, but stated I was unsure there was much the school could do in reality.

Anyway, I have just been woken by a text from the mum of the girl who offered her skorts, but was not taken up on it. This mum works at the school in the office. She has said that she wanted to give me the heads up. Her daughter cannot find her skorts and is holding my DD responsible. She has spoken with one of the teachers and that they have agreed between them that I will have to buy a new pair (£25) and replace them as it is my daughters fault. Now I have a problem with this on a few levels. Firstly if the school are dealing with it, why text me throwing around decisions that have been made without any consultation. Certainly don't have both sides of the story. And at midnight! Secondly I don't agree (having now read the texts between the girls) that my DD is responsible. And finally is this favouritism? I asked the school to deal with an identical problem and heard nothing back. The woman who works there has used her position to demand a new skort. Don't know if this makes a difference but this is a private school. My DD has a scholarship as I could never afford to send her otherwise. I do feel like I am not in a position to rock the boat (I still pay 50%) but want to report her unprofessional behaviour to the school. and ask that if they want to demand it of me, they should demand it if the girl who took my DDs skirt. My DD is adamant that she told the girl that she didn't need her skorts (she definitely was wearing a skirt because I was mad she had lost it on this day and we have pictures from her with her brother). She is also adamant that she has seen this girl in the skorts since as this has only been raised this week. AIBU to think this mum is a Cheeky fucker. Her text was very conclusive. We have decided at the school you are to buy new skorts. We will of course return (not refund) the new skorts if the old ones turn up. We expect you to sort this out etc. Sorry it got long (and a bit first world problems) but I am furious

OP posts:
ZoeZebra1 · 22/01/2019 13:59

I'm wondering if CF mum doesn't know the full story and is acting on what CFDD has told her. if her version is that her DD helped your DD by lending clothing and as far as she is concerned it wasn't returned and then your DD simply said 'its not my responsibility' I can see why she is upset. That doesn't excuse her text to you or behaviour but it does mean she is acting on incorrect information.

Aventurine · 22/01/2019 13:59

It's annoying that they are going by the story reported by CF mum. ie. CFdd's kindness in lending the skort and your dd not returning it, rather than listening to both sides. Grr

RandomMess · 22/01/2019 13:59

Plus why did CF say you were getting a bill then the PE teacher say something different... accusing your DD of lying???

Make lots of notes.

If HOY closes ranks I would say that you insist on speaking the Head immediately as the staff are lying.

Aventurine · 22/01/2019 14:00

The CFdd might have more than one skort and was wearing her spare.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 22/01/2019 14:02

What is really messing with my head is that the plural sounding word skorts is really a single item of clothing.
I've always referred to this as a skort

Aventurine · 22/01/2019 14:03

Yes it's called a skort normally

ChickenPieBumFace · 22/01/2019 14:10

But you would also call one pair of shorts the plural shorts. You wouldn't say I'm wearing short today. 😂. The more the word is used the funnier it sounds. Skorts. 😂😂

OP posts:
ABigBraclet · 22/01/2019 14:14

This is gripping.
So OP I'm not trying to poke fun at your problem but I am reading your posts with an open mouth because I can't believe the teachers and staff are lying and abusing their positions. It's, frankly, incredible.

MaidofEyes · 22/01/2019 14:17

Except that the current trend for fashion writers etc is to say things like 'I'll pair a tweed trouser with a blue brogue'. Everything seems to have gone singular. Or maybe they mean just to wear one shoe or one trouser leg.

OP you must be fuming, terrible treatment from the school and staff and other pupils/parents.

MaidofEyes · 22/01/2019 14:18

Sorry for fuming. I mean outraged. Fuming has 'are you ok hun' connotations.

Mymycherrypie · 22/01/2019 14:18

Ha. Is she a PE teacher or a debt collector?

I can see how they are thinking... your DD’s skirt going missing lead to the chain of events that made this girls skort go missing. So why aren’t they after the person who nicked the original clothing item, who sparked the need for the skort to be mended in the first place. Why are you getting midnight texts but the first missing skirt goes unmentioned.

Your DD is paying the price for upsetting a member of staffs DD and now the rest of the staff are joining in.

Mymycherrypie · 22/01/2019 14:20

Lended*

Fightingfit2019 · 22/01/2019 14:26

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this isn’t about two girls and who lost who’s skorts anymore is it? It’s about a member of staff texting you at midnight on what is essentially a weekend to discuss a school matter, and now a PE teacher who has ‘told’ your daughter on two occasions that she must buy a new skort, only to now deny it and make your daughter out to be a lier. Is that right?

BertyFlanter · 22/01/2019 14:28

@ZoeZebra1 I agree the cf mum is acting on incorrect Information.
But more fool her, I think most of us have learned by the time our kids are about 5 years old not to go in all guns blazing until you've heard both sides. It's parenting 101!
And now she has not only made a twat of herself but dragged her colleagues into a rather distasteful situation and potentially put her job at risk. I wouldn't want a PA who has proved herself to be so unprofessional and untrustworthy 😏

Clappyhapper · 22/01/2019 14:33

Oooh make sure you get one to one with the head. These staff members sound like a hive.

billybagpuss · 22/01/2019 14:44

I have dealt with lots of schools both as a parent and professionally and it really shouldn’t be this hard to speak to the head.

livingdownsouth · 22/01/2019 15:02

I'd like to know where the head is in all of this too. Hope this gets sorted for you op but it does sound like the staff are circling the wagons.

Clutterbugsmum · 22/01/2019 15:11

If the HOY contacts you again I would make it clear that your are dealing with the headmaster on this May and is inappropriate to have any more conversations on this matter.

Aventurine · 22/01/2019 15:11

I think shorts is because it's a pair of shorts

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 22/01/2019 15:12

Circling the wagons or rearranging deckchairs on the Titanic?

danceyourselfsilly · 22/01/2019 15:14

Wow just wow - they are closing ranks, changing stories, trying to bully your DD - its just terrible OP! Is head capable of dealing with them do you think or is he just sweeping it all under the carpet (trying to) or do you think they are just involved in CFery twisting the truth to him and making you out to be hysterical parent - which of course you have every right to be at this stage.
Sadly we get them at DD's school (also private) - you HAVE to buy me this that and the other if anything goes missing gets broken. They always remind me of Violet Beauregarde in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - "Daddy! buy me North Korea!"
Screenshot, take notes, be prepared as much as you can.

sonjadog · 22/01/2019 15:16

So this is only one piece of clothing? I have been thinking "skorts" is plural all this time.

SmellsLikeAdultSpirit · 22/01/2019 15:20

Where have you all been?
I'm a country bumpkin and my dd was wearing skorts 10 years ago😋

ReaganSomerset · 22/01/2019 15:20

Fuming has 'are you ok hun' connotations.

Does it?? I've often described myself as fuming. Every day's a school day and all that.

RiverTam · 22/01/2019 15:27

don't forget to channel your inner Gru, OP

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