Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter walking home from school

209 replies

MrsL86 · 17/01/2019 11:05

My 11 year old daughter has recently started walking home from school alone. It is less than a mile & she was desperate to do it. She starts high school in September where she will have to get a bus to & from so we thought we’d start giving her a bit of independence now rather than throw her in at the deep end in sept. This morning I received a call from who school saying a concerned parent had been into school because they saw her walking home alone. School we’re asking me questions & making me feel like a bad parent for letting her walk home. I can’t stop thinking about the phone call & im now panicking if I have done the right thing. A lot of people I know have said they let their kids walk home in year 5 (she’s in yr 6) so I didn’t think she was too young... thoughts?

OP posts:
silentcrow · 18/01/2019 09:56

silent I don't understand how your example makes any difference. If the older sibling is ill / injured in PE they need a parent to be informed and to pick them up. The parent would then deal with the younger sibling.

In these cases the parents were a fair distance from school and/or had babies to organise and wouldn't have arrived before the bell - we're talking about an accident at 3.20 when school ends at 3.30, and the parent would take 20mins to get there. So we were able to phone down to the younger children's classrooms and have them sent to the office at the end of school to wait for their parent, rather than stood about wondering where big brother was and potentially wandering off to look for them at the other exits. It may seem like nothing to you, but to us it's good safeguarding to know how kids are getting home and if those plans change.

howabout · 18/01/2019 10:17

But you would already be aware that the injured child had a sibling and you would also be phoning the parent. I guess knowing the older DC normally picks up the younger one means you knew to contact the parent rather than expecting them to be in the playground picking up the younger sibling. However then that is more to do with knowing what is happening with the younger sibling than it is the Y6.

I would actually be far more reluctant to have a Y6 in charge of a younger sibling for the walk home than I would be in letting them walk themselves home. I'm quite surprised schools with rules about Y6 walking home alone aren't more restrictive on this?

RiverTam · 18/01/2019 10:27

Furze yes, that's exactly what happens. When they spot their parent (or whoever it is, and you have to let them know if it's someone different from usual) the child has to go to their teacher (who's with all the kids in the playground) and say goodbye to them (or the teacher will have spotted the parent themselves anyway). I would say the playground is cleared in less than 10 minutes.

Not in year 5 yet but I think that parents have to let the school know if their child is getting themselves home.

nutellalove · 18/01/2019 10:50

I walked home age 10 and live in London- totally fine. I had friends who got the bus after birthday parties etc (9pm) age 10/11 so I think it's totally fine

Limensoda · 18/01/2019 11:19

Tell the school she is perfectly capable.
It's ridiculous the way children are over protected now. I was walking to school and back on my own at 7 or 8 with my friends. We lived on a main road.
I accept not all children can for various reasons but if your child is sensible and you are happy about it, its no one else's business.

FurzeandHarebells · 18/01/2019 11:59

Furze yes, that's exactly what happens*

Goodness, what a palaver.

I wonder why such a fundamental difference between schools in Scotland and England? Cultural difference perhaps?

RiverTam · 18/01/2019 12:05

Could be. I'm in London which could be another difference. I have no doubt that there could easily be issues with children left wandering the streets because no-one is home, or an unauthorised person taking a child. There will probably be at least 20 different languages spoken by parents, maybe more - so even more cultures in the mix.

There are very strict about no photos or videos on social media (and it's a very laid back school in many other ways).

RiverTam · 18/01/2019 12:05

doesn't feel like a palavar, though, I should add.

FurzeandHarebells · 18/01/2019 12:35

I suppose everyone is used to their own system River

ShesABelter · 18/01/2019 12:37

The kids here can walk home alone from P4 so some are only 7 at the beginning. Complaining about an 11 year old walking home is MADNESS!

IlluminatiParty · 18/01/2019 12:40

You've done nothing wrong and its great for independence. I think its weird for a parent to comment on a 5 foot tall schoolchild walking home. My son's another tall 11 year old although he's in year 7 and he walks a mile each way to secondary. Some of his classmates are tiny by comparison and you see all sorts on their way home in all weathers.

Perhaps it was the primary uniform which made them wonder. Still a peculiar thing to pick up on.

Jamiefraserskilt · 18/01/2019 13:04

I walked to and from school most of my life. These days it is a safeguarding issue although how we are supposed to teach independence I don't know!
Mine walked from year 6.
You are not a bad parent at all and they should butt out!

howabout · 18/01/2019 13:16

I wonder why such a fundamental difference between schools in Scotland and England?

I suspect this is because the vast majority of DC in Scotland still go to their local catchment school. Most DC at a particular school live within its catchment and are therefore know and are known around the area. This probably makes them feel safer and in a lot of cases means shorter distances to travel with lots of classmates going the same route. Where we are the secondary school is also close by so there are a lot of older siblings about too.

FurzeandHarebells · 18/01/2019 14:56

How that is an excellent point.

RiverTam · 18/01/2019 15:31

doesn't work in my neck of the woods where the catchments are tiny (under 1km, often 500m if high sibling year). So the chances of going to a non-local primary school are minute - though of course people move.

Micah · 18/01/2019 15:43

My dc go to a “junior” school- we are in england. So it is year 3-6 only.

The vast majority walk home on their own. Compared to the primary school reception-yr6 my oldest went to- there was never that “step” of going to a new school, so parents just continued doing the school run until secondary.

Also the primary required letters to allow children to leave on their own. The junior assumes all children will walk home as they are all yr3+.

reallyanotherone · 18/01/2019 15:48

doesn't work in my neck of the woods where the catchments are tiny (under 1km, often 500m if high sibling year). So the chances of going to a non-local primary school are minute - though of course people move.

Do all people get in their catchment school if the radius is so tiny?

It works in scotland as everyone goes to their catchment- you’re in catchment, you get in.

In england if your school is so oversubscribed only people living withn 500m get in there will be quite a large number that have to travel to a school further away.

My dc could easily walk to our nearest school. Except they didn’t get in as the criteria is based on distance and the school is oversubscribed. They go to a school 5k away. No walkable.

RiverTam · 18/01/2019 15:51

no, the catchment isn't a catchment as such, it's 'furthest distance' so a moveable feast year on year depending on number of cared-for children, children with a need best addressed by that particular school and siblings.

But there's quite a lot of primary schools so you'd be very unlucky not to get your child into a school any more than a 20 minute walk away. 30 max if you'd chosen a church school.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 18/01/2019 16:05

DD is in Y5 and will walk home from school every day (including from an after school club finishing at 4:15) when the nights get a bit lighter. I think I'll also send her walking on her own in the mornings too. I have to notify the school on their form though, so they know how she's getting home. They can walk home unaccompanied from Y5.

TBH I'll be walking with DS a bit behind her (only because he goes to the same school but will only be in Reception), but it's important she crosses roads on her own and lets herself into the house with her own key.

She needs to get two buses and a short walk, when she goes to secondary, so she needs to be able to troubleshoot any issues (such as no crossing patrol/traffic lights not working). She will have to cross a busy main road twice for the secondary school bus.

Looneytune253 · 18/01/2019 16:26

Wow in our school they are allowed to walk home from year 4. In fact my 8 year old walked home for the first time tonight. It’s quite normal here and I’m ‘overprotective’ round here cos I don’t let her walk to the park alone etc lol

RiverTam · 18/01/2019 16:28

are all the children on here walking home by themselves going home to an empty house?

treaclesoda · 18/01/2019 16:32

No, when my older child walks home I'm already at home. The younger I've got out at 2pm and the older one at 3pm so when the older one wanted to walk I was delighted because it meant I didn't have two school runs to do.

treaclesoda · 18/01/2019 16:32

That should say the younger one got out at 2pm

goldengummybear · 18/01/2019 16:36

Is it dark or country roads with no pavement? My 12 yr old does a similar distance home since y6 but leaves at 3:25 so it's not dark yet.

howabout · 18/01/2019 16:51

RiverTam 500m - 1km catchment radius with the school in the centre would mean the furthest any child was walking would be 500m which is less than a 5 minute walk. Your later comment about maximum journey times of 20-30 minutes and variety of options suggests there is probably quite a lot of overlap between local schools and pupils or areas with no catchment?

In Scotland there is one primary school per area (and in some areas an additional denominational school). In urban areas the typical catchment size would be about a mile in all directions. Any adult around about the school route who wasn't local and was giving cause for concern would stand out and there would be enough locals around who would notice. My DC's primary has around 450 pupils. About 1/3 of them live on my DC's school route. I know them all and who normally picks them up or indeed if they make their own way home. All of their parents / carers also know me and my DC. I also know a fair few of the ones heading off in the opposite directions.