Daughter walking home from school

[MrsL86]

My 11 year old daughter has recently started walking home from school alone. It is less than a mile & she was desperate to do it. She starts high school in September where she will have to get a bus to & from so we thought we’d start giving her a bit of independence now rather than throw her in at the deep end in sept. This morning I received a call from who school saying a concerned parent had been into school because they saw her walking home alone. School we’re asking me questions & making me feel like a bad parent for letting her walk home. I can’t stop thinking about the phone call & im now panicking if I have done the right thing. A lot of people I know have said they let their kids walk home in year 5 (she’s in yr 6) so I didn’t think she was too young... thoughts?

It is very common for the Y6 in our primary school to walk home alone; it prepares them for secondary school.

No parent is required to meet a Y6 pupil either after school or following an after school club.

Busy body parent reporting and bizarre that the school took the issue so seriously.

They can walk from y5 in our school

The thing that I cant get my head round is how the school dont know

Ours (rightly I think) need parent sign off to do so and once that is done will happily let them walk. But if you havent done that exactly how are they letting him go - because really if they are just letting him walk out without knowing where he is going the safeguarding issue really is them

And I wonder whether that isnt it. They are not following safeguarding protocol that they should be dismissing a child to however has been signed off to do so unless there are instructions in place.

It sounds like for the last term they have been letting him go without actually knowing where to (if that makes sense)

Ignore you are being very sensible! My year six walks alone it’s good experience for starting secondary school (also at 11 she is the same age as some kids born in August are when they start secondary!!..and no one I have ever met has suggested an August born year 7 should not make there own way to school!)

Walking home without parents is totally normal from P4 where I live, although P5 would be more normal. So that's age 8.

I can't believe how interfering into family life schools in England seem to be. Or for that matter how many busybodies seem to be dying to report people for doing perfectly normal things.

Times were different then, but in the Sixties, I would walk to and from school on my own from the age of about 8, I think. That was a 10 minute walk, and prepared me for the 20 minute walk to the station, followed by a 15 minute train journey and further 20 minute walk to my secondary school when I was 11. Lifts were given when we were running late, but we were usually left to get on with it, to get to school for 9.00am, I think.

A friend of mine still takes and collects her son from the school gates every day and he is doing his GCSEs this year. He could easily walk or bike with his friends. She also insists on her ILs popping round in person to check on him if she and OH go out for the evening too.

It's all quite odd. She lives in a very safe area and her son is very academic and not at all rebellious or anything (and she has another older son too, so its not PFB).

I dont think you are doing anything wrong at all .She is 11 and you know your daughter better than anyone if you think sjr is capable then it is no one else's business
Busy body parent and school should have told them it is your parenting decision and to mind their own .

Our DD does it in Y3, she's 7, the school are fine - it's much less than a mile and very convenient. I'm surprised the school doesn't encourage it in Y5/Y6, as it is important for kids, you are not a bad parent, and you should probably ask for the schools policy on it, as hassling parents is certainly not a sensible one.

I feel for the "concerned parent's" kid to be honest. At 11 years old my kids had been playing out unsupervised for quite some time so walking home from school would be a complete non issue. DD (then 7 or 8 yo) often walked home alone after choir practice. Granted it's only two streets but it's totally expected for our area.

In fact, eldest DD is 11 and goes to high school. She walks the mile there and back by herself just like 99% of her friends do. She would be mortified if her mum rocked up in the car to pick her up!

The school are being ridiculous

No, the school have had a report concerning o/p’s daughters welfare and they are now obliged to follow it up.

This will likely simply involve a chat with o/p and dd to make sure both are happy that child is responsible enough and comfortable with the walk and any roads involved.

Who knows why the parent reported it. Maybe they’re idiots who think children should be supervised until they’re 30. Maybe they saw something - child being picked on by older kids, child upset on their own or crossing the road in an insafe manner.

Whatever. School are doing the right thing. If everything is ok, great, if not it has been picked up on and can be dealt with.

The vast majority of Year 6 at my kids’ school walk home alone, and a good deal of the Year 5s too. The only reason I don’t let my 2 (year 5 and 6) is that we’re about a 25 minutes walk away with at least 3 busy roads to navigate that I don’t trust them to always cross safely as the eldest has slight special needs and the youngest is easily distracted! If they were more sensible, or we lived closer to school, they absolutely would walk alone. I think the school needs to mind their own business and trust your judgment as your child’s parent.

a concerned parent? nope, a nosy old bird who needs to bind their beak more like. my dc walked both ways starting in year 6.

Oh and that's in rural Scotland. Children as young as P3 (6-7) walk home alone regularly. The streets are full of schoolkids and parents all walking home. Some alone, some supervised.

A bit OTT of the school to quiz you on it IMO, unless the concerned parent played it up to be more than it is.

I know lots of 11 year olds that walk home from school if it is a short distance. I personally walked home from school from age 12, but it was a few miles.

I would just send a note so that they have it confirmed in writing that she will be walking home from school (although I don't think you should have to do this if they have no policy to request it!)

Loads do in yr 5 and 6 at our school. I won't let dd (10) because she really hasnhasn't master road crossing yet but that's specific to her. We are working on it with a view to her being able to do some trips alone in yr6.

I would just tell the school what the situation is. They won't call social services.

I'm in my late twenties now but can remember walking to / from school without a parent in year 6. I would always walk with my neighbour (also in year 6), so was not completely alone.

I don't think I would allow my child to do this. We live in a busy part of London and I would worry about traffic / road safety. I think it depends on what the route is like, the child as an individual and how you feel. No right or wrong.

And on another thread a mum is upset because a 17 year had to walk a mile to school (due to being thrown of a bus as she lost her pass).

11 year old are fine to walk to school alone.

I hear more and more like this and it’s absolutely nuts, when did everyone become so fearful!?

My DD (nearly 18) recently drove to a concert about 40 miles away. One of her friends (18) wasn’t allowed to go with DD in her car as her parents were worried about DD being a ‘new driver’ - she passed her test last May!

So both parents drive this poor girl there and walked her to the venue, went for a meal and were standing outside waving as they left the building

Speechless

11 seems to be the 'normal' age for kids here to start walking to school alone as prep for high school.

My dd is in yr6. She is one of the youngest in the year. We live about a mile away from school and dd doesn’t have to cross a big road. The only reason I don’t want her walking home alone yet is because I want her to get used to walking around with her friends first. They go to the park together etc. She says she would be fine. But I know she’s nervous as she didn’t even want to go to the post box a few months ago alone, which is a lot closer. I can’t walk far so she hasn’t had the practice that most children have had. She is gaining confidence by doing this in preparation for secondary. In the summer I will then be ok for her to walk home alone.

A lot of yr6 children and several yr5 walk home, hang around at the park for a while in the summer etc. Dd stays at the park with her friends after school weather permitting some days.

I understand the parent will have probably been of a much younger child. I remember seeing the yr6children hanging around the park before school when dd was in KS1 and being surprised. In fact there was something about it in a school newsletter a few years ago.

I think the school is probably compelled to act to meet with safeguarding rules and protect themselves.

Are there any big main roads she has to cross? Could she have been playing up or not waiting for traffic lights etc so putting herself in danger?

Ultimately someone was concerned and did the right thing as in speak to scho not approach her
Scho have done the right thing in checking you know about it and it's an actuive decision not because you're stuck in hospital and she's home alone etc.
It isn't a safeguarding concern so unless school have a policy of not releasing them that's the end of it.

Tbf to the school they don't appear to be aware your DD has started walking herseld so I can see why they wanted to follow up when it was brought to their attention. I would want to go and speak to them if only to check if they have a process for children walking home alone as it appears that they have just started letting her leave despite the fact you haven't previously told them she was walking herself home.

The person who reported it may have been the parent of a friend/someone in her year group who has always seen your DD get collected when they were collecting their child. Then suddenly one day they see your child walking alone ... I'd probably mention something to the school too if I saw a child that was always collected walking alone. I'd assume they had permission but I'd want to be sure if it wasn't the "norm".

My DD is 10 and her school is literally down our street and around the corner and at the end of that road. She walks home alone and has done since last year but I had to send the school a letter to authorise that she is allowed to leave by herself. If I hadn't I would hope they would confirm with me that I had arranged this rather than just letting my 9/10 year old leave by herself.

They are being ridiculous and have too much time on their hands. We live about 50 yards from the school and my son has been walking to and from school from age 8. He was absolutely fine and is now 11 and loves to walk to the shop along the road about half a mile away.
It’s called helping them grow into adults ffs.

What do the school want you to "discuss"?

Totally ridiculous!

And "concerned parent" my arse! Busy body uber parent more like