Daughter walking home from school

[MrsL86]

My 11 year old daughter has recently started walking home from school alone. It is less than a mile & she was desperate to do it. She starts high school in September where she will have to get a bus to & from so we thought we’d start giving her a bit of independence now rather than throw her in at the deep end in sept. This morning I received a call from who school saying a concerned parent had been into school because they saw her walking home alone. School we’re asking me questions & making me feel like a bad parent for letting her walk home. I can’t stop thinking about the phone call & im now panicking if I have done the right thing. A lot of people I know have said they let their kids walk home in year 5 (she’s in yr 6) so I didn’t think she was too young... thoughts?

Not all schools have a policy on this. My dc went to infant and junior schools and once in juniors they were let out to find their way way to a parent or just home.

As others say, I often used to keep an eye on kids I knew walked alone as they crossed the road etc. It's a good, safe place to start some independence, lots of adults you know about in case you have a problem.

Dcs school encouraged this (or catching the bus/train by yourself) in year 6. They had a system where you handed your mobile in at the office and collected it at the end of the day. As mine were using public transport I used to get them to call me when they got to school and to call me when they were leaving but apart from that they just got on with it - some parents had a tracker on the phones.

I think you are right to start to encourage independence in your DD.

"They are being ridiculous and have too much time on their hands" a child suddenly walking home from school alone with no notification from the parent COULD be a warning sign though if they've always been collected. Of course it's more likely she's just growing up and it's fine. But it could mean that the primary carer parent is ill and the child is now having to fend for themselves, or away and the child is unsupervised for most of the evening. He sounds like he was being ott but they are always right to double to check a welfare concern. It's not like he called SS

Does your daughter look younger than her age?? Does the person who has reported this know her actual age??

Our school allows this from year 5, but they need to know in advance. Perfectly acceptable. I went on the bus (school or sometimes public service) to middle school from year 6.

I do have a friend tho who still walks her soon to be 14 DD to the bus twice a day.

I think it's fine for her to be walking home alone and as you say it's preparing her for secondary school.

My son is going in y4, we live next door to school and they won't let him walk home alone. It's ridiculous.

No she doesn’t look younger than her age. She’s very tall & is often thought to be older than she is.

That's a fair point sleepingstsndingup. I guess if it's flagged up and op hadn't told school (tho clearly many don't expect it) then the school had to be seen to follow it up. Sounds as if they were a bit heavy handed tho.

Scotland here and common for children to walk from p4 so about 8 years old. I personally think it's safer for more children to walk themselves.

Fewer cars around the school and the children are safer all together than just a few walking themselves.

My older ones would meet up with friends and all walk together collecting others on the way and I suspect the younger ones will do the same.

You are doing the right thing. This woman’s poor children are likely going to grow up with no independence and ability to cope by themselves. People like this make me so angry, no wonder we have so many useless adults if they’re going to be babied so much as children. Well done for preparing your child for September. Don’t feel bad.

Yup agree that "concerned parent" needs to wind her neck in and mind her own business.

Some of my daughters friends who live closer to school have started walking this year and they are year 5. We live 3 miles from school so not really an option for DD but she has started asking me to park up at the end of the road so she can walk out and halfway back with her friends. She is over the moon at being given this little bit of independence and it's done wonders for her confidence.

My 11 year old in year 6 walks home alone and we’re less than a mile away aswell. The school knows children in year 5 and 6 walk to school and home alone. I can’t believe you were called up about something so trivial and the parent is a complete dipshit!

Yup agree that "concerned parent" needs to wind her neck in and mind her own business

Better to report than not. School will follow it up, if everything’s fine, end of.

But you don’t actually know if everthing is fine. What if they saw an incident that concerned them? You’re assuming she gets home without incident but how many videos have been posted on sm where kids get beaten up or name called on the way home? It happens, and you don’t know 100% it hasn’t happened here.

Concerned parent may be a busy body.

We used to have to fill in a consent form at the start of the year if the child was to be allowed to walk home alone. Was this perhaps what the person who called you from the school should have been asking for.

Your school would be calling every parent from p6 and p7 at my school! Almost all the kids in those years walk home alone. It's either walking alone or getting picked up in a car. The school, and that other parent, are crazy. Hold your head high!

I would just double check with the school if there was anything specific the parent was concerned about - I'm thinking older teenagers bothering her, she was looking vulnerable in some way, not crossing the road correctly. Otherwise it is very odd that this is being brought up!

There are things to report that make you a concerned parent and things that if reported make you a neurotic busybody. This is the latter.

@ILoveChristmasLights I'm 23 and also walked home at age 7, so I don't think that's the source of students inability to cope 😂

I think I would send a polite email in questioning their reaction, surely it's far more dangerous to send a DC off on a much longer journey to a less familiar place involving a bus journey for the first time in September? Primary schools are supposed to support the transition to secondary. It sounds like they treated it as a safeguarding concern, which was really inappropriate IMO. If they are too scared to use discretion then as PP have mentioned they need to put a policy in place.

surely the school a) have rules about what year groups can travel to and from school alone (years 5 and 6 in our school) and b) know that no-one is collecting your child from school?

I would be more concerned about the 'concerned parent's' parenting style than yours.
She sounds ridiculously over protective and as if she doesn't understand the importance of teaching children to be self sufficient and preparing them for life out in the big bad world.

@reallyanotherone there is nothing to report. It's a year 6 child walking a short distance home, not a safeguarding issue, no bullying that OP has mentioned. There are thousands of age 11 year 7 kids getting the bus home every single day. Do all their parents need reporting too??

Bit of an escalation to go from an 11 walking home to bullying videos on SM

@MrsL86 ref her height. That’s even more surprising in that case. Speaking as the parent of a very short child (13 and 1.45m).

Some parents are very very protective of their kids and will judge you for any independence you allow. My DS walks home once a week (year 5, 1.5 miles) he could take a bus but prefers to spend the 95p on sweets!
I do make sure he takes his phone on those days though

Also forgot my salient point that I'm a social worker

If the school actually had a problem with it surely they wouldn't let her leave the classroom on her own, at my DDs school we have to sign consent forms to say they can leave on their own, otherwise they can't leave until a parent is there. My DD is 9 and started walking home on her own this school year, she loves the little bit of extra independence.