Daughter walking home from school

[MrsL86]

My 11 year old daughter has recently started walking home from school alone. It is less than a mile & she was desperate to do it. She starts high school in September where she will have to get a bus to & from so we thought we’d start giving her a bit of independence now rather than throw her in at the deep end in sept. This morning I received a call from who school saying a concerned parent had been into school because they saw her walking home alone. School we’re asking me questions & making me feel like a bad parent for letting her walk home. I can’t stop thinking about the phone call & im now panicking if I have done the right thing. A lot of people I know have said they let their kids walk home in year 5 (she’s in yr 6) so I didn’t think she was too young... thoughts?

[SciFiScream]

I'm in Scotland so dark after school and before school. Children in our area can walk to and from school when they are in Primary 4. So age 7 and 8 (some 9 year olds).
Many parents let their children do this. I'm not quite ready so 12 year old DS will pick his 8 year old DD up from school.
By age 11 I'll be more than ready. I'm trying to get myself ready for DD doing this when she's 9 and has the summer months to practice. It gets dark here at 3:30 sometimes and sun rise can also be after school starts.

[Elphame]

I used to walk home alone from infants and in fact my own son wanted to do the same at age 6. He was a sensible child, and had no roads to cross to get there and it was only a couple of hundred yards he was allowed to. I normally ended up passing him his forgotten lunch over the hedge between our garden and the playground!

[ninjawarriorsocks]

OP don’t worry. At my school Y5&6 children are allowed to walk by themselves if they have a signed permission from the parent. DS 10 has been walking home by himself since the start of Y6, it’s not far with no major roads to cross. You are completely correct, it’s a great idea to get them used to doing this before they start secondary school. In fact when I told DS’s teachers he’d be leaving school by himself they were very encouraging and said it was great for them to start learning independence in Y6. He has his own door key now too!

[BiscuitDrama]

Rezie round here working parents do the following:

Have flexible working so they can drop child off and then go to work
Use breakfast club and after school club at the school (external provider, fee is charged)
Use a child minder, so drop them at their house
Work park time
Do a swap with a neighbour and work part time/from home/flexible hours on the days they’re doing the school run

[RandomMess]

Anyone else remember walking to and from school alone whilst still in infant school

So long as any roads to be crossed can be safely the more independence at a young age the better!

[FurzeandHarebells]

You say that dd was desperate to walk home alone which to me indicates that it is usual within the school - otherwise why would she be begging to do it?

Not necessary Private. My kids were desperate to walk because it made them feel grown up. None of their friends walk with them.

[Zippea]

The schools here require us to sign consent for year 5 and year 6 children walking to and from school. Assuming that is the same for your area I think the school could have dealt with the overly concerned parent better (in a ‘thanks for your concern’ type of way).
My year 5 and year 6 walk to and from school - they are at two different schools and are more than happy to walk

[Sweetpotatoaddict]

So in 7 years time she’s 18 and can hop on a flight to wherever in the world. No wonder young people these days struggle to adapt and cope, there’s no gradual build up in independence and responsibility.
I’m late 30’s so primary late 80’s early 90’s. I walked to and from school independently from early in my school life, by late primary was getting the bus to next town to go swimming with a friend.
Has life really got so much more dangerous? We need to build independent, resourceful, resilient young adults, how can this happen when we don’t allow them gradual independence?

[pinkhorse]

My 9 year old year 4 walks home alone. It's 0.6 miles.

[PrivateDoor]

OP this is very strange. You say that dd was desperate to walk home alone which to me indicates that it is usual within the school - otherwise why would she be begging to do it? If it was not allowed she would know and presumably therefore would not ask to. It sounds likely to me that her friends walk and that is why she wants to. Is there something you aren't telling us with regards to the route? Or was she actually seen behaving badly or crossing a road unsafely or something? I feel like this isn't the full story to be honest.

[pandoraphile]

There was a parent who literally lived across one road from the back entrance to the school. You could practically touch the house. But because it was across a road the school insisted that she come and collect her Yr 8 child every day.....

It's a private school though and there's a similar system at my other dds senior school.

[Evilspiritgin]

Our school requires a written note from yr 5 saying that a child will be walking home by themselves

The trouble in this case is we don’t know is the other parent is being a busybody or if she/he has seen something? I went to primary school in the 70s so used to walk to and from school from the age of 6 (about a mile). What the school nor my parents didn’t know was that from about the age of 9 I was being bullied by some girls from the year below me, to be fair the school wouldn’t have cared less about anyone being bullied back then

[anniehm]

For goodness sake, she's 11 not 5! My kids went alone from age 8. In many countries kids travel alone from when they start (admittedly older than ours around 6) My friend was told she mustn't walk her kids in Japan!

I'm surprised at the school contacting you tbh

[Petrilorcheese]

I went through this with my DCs primary school it was made clear to me that they werent happy my y5 child (summer term) was walking part of the way home alone to be met by older DC. I was told I had to buy him a mobile otherwise they would report me to social services.

I was coming home from school (to an empty house) every day at lunchtime when I was 10. And most of my friends walked to and from school unaccompanied from the age of 6 or 7, but now children are so over protected I know plenty who are still driven to 6th form/ college daily and at 17/ 18 have never done a journey on their own.

[Makegoodchoices]

Our school encourage walking (in friend groups) at Year 5. They have road crossing ‘lessons’ at the end of year 4 - I suspect because a few children may have always been driven to school as the area is rural.

[Rezie]

Genuine question. How does parents walking kids to and from school work? Does working parents hire a nanny for the 1 mile walk or are there rules on kids being alone for a few hours or is it ok if they come with the neighbour kids and their parents?

I'm from the northern Europe and we start school when we are 6-7 years old. Parents usually use their annual leave to walk the kids to school for a few weeks and they start walking or taking the bus on their own.

We live close to several schools in South East England and often I walked past them when school was ending. I was in uni and wondering that if me and my partner would settle to this child friendly and expensive area how we would do it. No way could we afford to have a SAHP and hiring someone would be also very expensive.

[mollysmammy]

I walked to the bus stop, which was quite a walk (I lived in a tiny village), when I started high school, so about 11/ 12. I probably would do the same for my Daughter when she gets to high school, but only because a lot of the children who live close will be going to the same school, so they'll be a big group of them walking to and from the bus stop. If she was on her own I would want to collect her from the bus stop until she was a little older. Having said that my Dad was getting planes when he was nine, alone. It's a sign of the times though, I'm 30, I'm a keen trail runner, which often takes me off road , and my Dad still tells me not to go to isolated areas, and to keep to where people can see me. As a parent you always worry about your kids even when they're all grown up!

[KarmaKiller]

My 8 year old walks to and from school himself, less than a mile, only one road to cross which has lights and a lollipop lady.

[Aragog]

At our local junior school children are allowed to walk home alone, without a parent, from Year 3, so long as it is normal school finishing time.

DD's primary encouraged children to walk in Year 6 to prepare them for high school/secondary. We lived too far from school for that but used to drop dd off a bit further away to let her all the last bit herself or with friends.

[HRI290417]

I work in a primary school and year 5 and 6 pupils are permitted to walk home with parental consent.

You are not a bad parent. Don’t worry! X

[Subtlecheese]

"Concerned" parent is overstepping normal social boundaries.
There is no attached and they were walking in the middle of the road/ being harassed then they are saying
"a child walked home uneventfully".
A child of 11 should be working towards independencentre and adulthood.
Walking home, going to the shops, meeting friends at the park, cooking a meal, cleaning their own space, doing laundry, managing their own hygiene.
I'd be more concerned about a child NOT demonstrating some of these skills by 11.

[schoolsoutforever]

I walked to and from school from the age of 5! The nonsense of concerned (or busybody) parents complaining about this to the school makes me cross. My 11 year old walks to school. She's perfectly able, confident and willing and it's a good thing. When children have no independence they struggle at secondary.

[howabout]

If both parents work FT outside the home beyond normal school hours then I understand a more cautious approach just because as a parent you wouldn't be familiar with the route your DC would be walking at the time they would be walking it or who else would be there.

[AlliKaneErikson]

NB they’re not allowed to walk home until yr 5.

[AlliKaneErikson]

Absolutely the norm here in yr 5 and 6. DD is year 4 and I would trust her to walk home if there wasn’t a road with no lollipop person/crossing.