Daughter kicked off bus aibu

[user1471461798]

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

The problem is that the driver doesn't understand that the pass the student wore the last time he checked indicated she was paid up until the end of the month, not that she wasn't wearing her pass on one particular day.

It's a failure of reasonable, intelligent, joined-on thinking on the part of the driver.

She had to walk for over a mile in the dark
Does she have problems with her vision? I can't understand what's wrong with walking in the dark. Millions of people do it every day.

The boiled sweet prize for obtuseness goes to potatoscone.

Every heard of pedestrians being run over because drivers can't see them as they walk by the side of the road in the dark, in the rain?

would the shirt she had the pass in have been in a chest of drawers? Surely would have to get washed first so would be in laundry or pass would have been taken out before washed and put down somewhere.

Mother implied if she hadn't found it hen daughter would not of.

I think the daughter should have found it ( or at least thought about and worked out where it was so mother didn't have to look for it.)

With an arm in plaster it really is difficult - you have to lift individual items, set them aside, rummage in pockets while not able to hold the clothing with the other hand. The pocket may have been deep. The OP doesn't say, but it could be the dominant arm that was broken, which can really cause problems as using the non-dominant arm is taxing and frustrating.

Also, a sweatshirt worn one day on a person with a broken arm might not have been sweated into much and might well have gone into a closet. Someone with an arm broken as recently as Sunday may be taking painkillers too, which can make you absent minded about where you might have put something. If a lanyard is always in a certain place it can be difficult to imagine what you might have done with it in the aftermath of an event like breaking an arm, ER visit, treatment, even without painkillers.

In any case, the OP doesn't say she had to look for it, just that she found it. She may have been capable of clearer thinking than the DD.

He let her on the coach...travelled a mile then decided to check her pass. Something stinks. You either check as people get on or dont check. She is a young woman alone and I would push this with the company. He could of made a note of her name & address and passed it on to the college. Some people have no sense jumped up twerp reminds me of a train guard who tried to do this ( after a discussion with his 7 foot brick xxx of a welsh driver he changed his mind )

Whilst the driver could have turned a blind eye I would assume it was the fact that she didn't say anything when she got on the bus that meant he went hard lines on her.

If she had got on the bus, explained she had lost her pass and asked if she would be allowed to travel without it for this one journey since she couldn't get a replacement until she got to college or just asked the driver what to do under the circumstances, I am sure the bus driver would have let her travel.

However, instead of being upfront and admitting she didn't physically have her pass she just got on the bus and said nothing until the driver did a check. At which point he probably thought she was trying to deceive him and followed the letter of the rules - no pass = no travel.

I used to travel on the train to 6th form and I had a termly travel pass. The regular conductors on the trains knew me and my friends and often wouldn't even check our passes when checking tickets as they knew we had them as we showed them every day. On the rare occasion I would forget my pass, as soon as the conductor came to check tickets I would say so and ask to get a day ticket. Sometimes they would wave off my offers to pay as they knew I had a pass and I'd just forgotten it but 1 time in 10 I'd have to pay for a new ticket. I would imagine that if I hadn't been upfront I would have had to pay for a ticket the other 9 times too.

Ok so you are accusing the bus driver of being careless and a possible safeguarding issue but I just Say 1) u let your daughter leave the house without her lanyard 2) you were happy enough to drive off as soon as she got on the bus and not bother to wait until the bus left and finally 3) you didn’t bother to discuss this with driver beforehand which would have meant a quick 2 min drive back home so I’m just curious as to who really was careless here and who disregarded the safety and well being of this girl!
The drivers job is to get students from A to B he has as rules it’s his job to follow them, if u are looking to blame someone I would start with looking in the mirror.
Also I think she needs to grow up u seem to be treating her like she’s 7 not 17

A lot of posters citing the drivers duty of care and"what if something happened...? "

Firstly surely his duty of care is to the passengers on his bus, passengers that can prove they've paid to be there. He doesn't know that she's lost her pass, it could have been revoked because she many paid or had been kicked out.

Secondly what of something had happened? Like what? She gets hit by a car? Wouldn't that be her fault for not paying attention or the driver of the vehicle that hit her? Certainly wouldn't be the bus driver.

She gets attacked, which I am assuming odds where most posters are going with that. This is exactly the place where victim blaming is not tolerated, the blame lies squarely with the attacker. So why would we now blame the bus driver?

His duty of care starts when a passenger gets on the bus and ends when they get off.

Sarah, the OP has already stated how long it would take her to drive home from the bus stop, and it wouldn't have been a quick two minutes.

You do indeed blame a bus driver for his complete lack of human common sense when a girl is raped while walking home along a dark road burdened with bags and with a broken arm that mean she won't be able to fend off an attacker. A similar case happened before this, and the bus driver received very appropriate opprobrium.

You also blame a bus driver when someone is hit by a driver speeding along a country road in the rain. This driver had no idea how far the girl had to walk, or whether there were footpaths, or if she would have to negotiate a stretch of motorway to get home.

It is too late to blame of course, but the blame is rightful. Everyone was lucky nothing happened to this girl.

People really do have a human obligation to look out for each other, and this man was a callous, reckless, spiteful jobsworth for throwing her off the bus. His duty of care starts when the passenger gets on the bus and he should have realised that if a student had a lanyard a few days ago that signified a month of travel had been paid for, then she was entitled to be on the bus. He was therefore stupid on top of everything else.

He doesn't know that she's lost her pass, it could have been revoked because she many paid or had been kicked out
Why would she show up for a free ride to a rural college on the bus at 6.45am on a rainy morning with bags to carry and an arm in a cast?
The idea that he couldn't tell if she had been kicked out of college and her pass revoked is beyond ridiculous.

Honestly, some posts here are gobsmacking.

Yanbu...it was dark...she could have been hurt. Bus driver is a knob.

Vynalbob
He let her on the coach...travelled a mile then decided to check her pass.

Nope, read it again.

I trekked accross the himalayas with an upset tummy ...dosnt mean i wouldn't be livid if dd was chucked off a bus in the DARK....sheesh.
Nowt wrong with walking a mile...young girl, alone, in the dark....nah.

YANBU. If he hardly ever checks the passes then it’s obviously not a big deal to him whether or not the kids have them. He made an example of her and it was mean.

Plus the bus company needs a more humane way if dealing with this policy such as taking contact details and charging parents

No one has yet justified why she didn't tell the driver when she got on the bus that she didn't have a pass. She assumed it would be OK. She has to take some responsibility for that.

She assumed it would be ok because the driver only checked randomly for passes.

If it seemed to her that it was all the same to him most other days why should yesterday be any different?

Despite his little lecture on the importance of carrying the lanyard, he himself didn't actually do his job most days.

Well since we're blaming a bus driver for the possibility of a girl being attacked I'd like to blame estate agents for homeless people, supermarkets for world hunger, the cost of condoms for STI's shipping companies for the people trying to cross the channel on overloaded dinghies.

Good forbid any individual take personal responsibility for their themselves eh?

I'll ask this again, we don't blame an attack on the victim no matter the circumstances. The blame lies squarely with the attacker. So why does it now lie with the driver who was doing his job diligently?

She assumed it would be ok because the driver only checked randomly for passes.

She assumed that she get away with it because the driver only checked randomly for passes.

Or it could be that he checks as they get on the bus and as they are wearing lanyards the passes are all visible and today hers was not.

Or it could be that the companies policy is that they have random checks or a number of random checks per length of time.

but whatever the circumstance the DD must have known that there was a possibility of her being removed from the bus.

You have missed 99.9% of the nuance in the posts asserting the duty of care on the part of the driver, GySgtHartman.

We do in fact blame bus drivers who are 'doing their jobs diligently' when the effect of that is that a young woman is raped. Bus companies are aware of the dangers young women face. Some apparently address those issues in training.
During Moran's trial, Trent Barton [bus company], released a statement in which it described the incident as "shocking", and said a "full investigation" had been launched within days of the incident, last December.

Last night the firm admitted the driver had acted against company guidance.

Commercial director Alex Hornby said: "Our drivers are well known for looking after people and there have been many examples of exceptional service by our teams, even including paying their own customers fares out of their own pocket.

"Sadly on this occasion this did not happen and our driver did not follow his training.

"The matter was dealt with through our disciplinary procedure within days of the incident last December."
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/9320185/Driver-who-threw-student-off-bus-before-she-was-raped-ignored-company-policy.html

We also blame onlookers who stand by and do nothing when someone gets raped.

..but whatever the circumstance the DD must have known that there was a possibility of her being removed from the bus.

Since the driver thought it was important to deliver a little lecture to the four students he knows well and who go all the way from the stop to the college, apparently this is the first time anyone has been made an example of and kicked off the bus.

Why would the DD assume she would be kicked off the bus when any reasonable and reasonably intelligent driver would understand that the lanyard signifies that a whole month of travel has been paid for in advance, and the driver knew she had the lanyard because he had checked a few days previously?

Unfortunately, she was dealing with a very stupid man who enjoyed wielding power over other people (agree with ReanimatedSGB).

I think the driver was being a bit jobsworth really, but on the other hand I think you were being OTT by contacting the bus company regarding this. Just put it down to experience.

This happened to my 11yr old on the school bus.

He told the bus driver he'd lost his pass, bus driver told him to leave the bus.

He walked home and I had to take him in myself and be late for work

That's life, and teaches kids to look after their important belongings (phone, travel pass, wallet)

Lesson learnt. Annoying. No drama, imo

As a chronically disorganised person, I have learnt that if you are missing a pass you should have, you ought to openly admit this at boarding. Most of the time they do let you on, but if your DD had done this and they'd refused you would not have driven off believing everything to be sorted.

Also, you don't know the bus driver's POV. Maybe he'd heard a rumour that management may be boarding buses today and thus needed to follow procedure to the letter as a result. Point is, you don't know and you should never expect someone to bend the rules for you. If they do, it's a bonus, but it's not a right.

mathanxiety

So women are never to blame in the event of being attacked but the men around them are? She want raped because she was drunk, led the man on, because of what she was wearing, she was raped because the man was a rapist. She was apparently raped because of the bus driver too. Never victim blame a woman but by all means blame men.

I'm with concept of not blaming the victim, but here we're blaming the average man doing his job? You know the expectation that we have in society that you get paid for providing a service.

The cynic in me also suspects that it was never company policy to allow women to travel for free. They just had to be seen doing something because to support their driver would be seen as callous and would have lost them business.

would this be on a par with a landlord not being allow to serve a drunk person? I.e., the landlord cannot make the drunk person more drunk (and thus more unsafe, on a number of levels)? That is his or her duty of care to the customer?

I must say I find that a real stretch to implicate a bus driver - legally - in the assault and rape of a woman. Is this is the UK?

I mean, I still think the bus driver in this instance was wrong, but not for this particular reason.

So as a female, if I get on a bus, without a pass and without saying anything to explain to the driver and without offering to pay, just go on my way ( hoping I don't get asked?) I can moan if I get kicked off as I a poor defenceless little girl and the bus driver is a meanie who should have let me still take the bus without paying otherwise it's his fault if I'm attacked?!
Good to know.
Where does that attitude lead to? Letting anyone who's "forgot their pass and will bring it next time, honest?"
Not saying that's what your dd was doing, but a lot would.
What happened to personal responsibility? She's 17 and that's a fifteen minute walk tops!