Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter kicked off bus aibu

812 replies

user1471461798 · 16/01/2019 19:59

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
Blueink · 17/01/2019 20:52

Ridiculously overprotective & entitled response. If I missed the bus (aged 11) I had to walk the 3 miles to school. If you lose your bus pass you have to be prepared to deal with the consequences. It could have gone either way, which was the risk she took. Lots of kids walking anyway at that time of the morning. By 16 I walked everywhere rather than waiting for buses.

catok · 17/01/2019 20:54

Bus passes cost a lot of money; so DD took a photo of hers and keeps it on her phone. She also has a college intranet with a profile page including her photo. When she mislaid her bus pass, she showed the driver both of those and sorted a temporary pass when she got to college for the trip home that night. Driver was fine with this ID.
DD (also 17) took herself to a study day in Cambridge this week by train from Southampton; leaving in the dark, returning in the dark. OP - I understand your fears for your daughter; but YABU. Of course, you'd helped your DD with a bag which she could carry around in college all day without affecting her broken arm. Of course, she had explained to the driver as she greeted him/her on the bus that she didn't have her pass; but had pics on her phone. Of course, she puts her lanyard on a hangar with the clothes she plans to wear the next day.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 17/01/2019 21:01

I think it's where all the traffic wardens hang out.

Mature Hmm

loolooskip · 17/01/2019 21:05

Good grief. A mile? I don't want to be all 'I lived in a cardboard box' but we walked 3 miles to and from school everyday from age 12. In pissing rain, cold, blazing sun.

Waspnest · 17/01/2019 21:05

Yeah in the same way that most of AIBU is mature. Hmm

Passenger42 · 17/01/2019 21:09

I think the driver was harsh, considering she had a broken arm. Sadly it is not safe to walk home alone these days, Millie Dowler was murdered coming home from a train station.

Hanywany · 17/01/2019 21:19

Exactly my point passenger42 thank you for pointing that out

Fowles94 · 17/01/2019 21:24

She could of been thrown out of college he didn't know. She is an adult and you need to let go.

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 21:28

She still had the bus pass paid up for the month.

loolooskip · 17/01/2019 21:30

Oh for goodness sake. It's not safe for a 17 year old to walk home alone?!

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 21:31

And for him to suspect she was kicked out of college but still turned up for the bus on a rainy morning laden with bags and with an arm in a sling at 6.45 is frankly ridiculous.

ShesABelter · 17/01/2019 21:35

I'm baffled by your reaction to this. I genuinely would be holding my 14 yo dd entirely responsible for being so disorganised not the bus driver and I'd be thinking good for him he might help her sort out her organisational skills in future.

She's 17, it's her fault.

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 21:40

Lots of people here apparently unable to grasp that the monthly payment in advance is for travel on the bus for a month, not for the lanyard per se...

Lizziejane63 · 17/01/2019 21:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lifeofsmiley · 17/01/2019 21:44

Maybe he should get the bus

nannykatherine · 17/01/2019 21:47

lots of 17 year olds walk in the rain to school/work/college .some cycle .
it’s called life .
she will
have to learn to take care of things like buss passes etc

MiniMum97 · 17/01/2019 22:07

The bus driver may have been correct but it was still mean. He knew the college is a long way and she would have to walk home with a broken arm and miss a day of college when she could have just showed him the temporary pass when she got to college. As he knew her, this was a mean thing to do and a bit jobsworthy.

People saying she should take better care of her things - sometimes how ever careful you are things do get lost!

Kate0902900908 · 17/01/2019 22:07

Ridiculous absolutely ridiculous!
I would be livid as you are

What if something would have happened to her!?

The college and coach company should be held accountable for putting your daughter ( with broken arm) in danger

Any grown adult would have said no problem we can sort out at college .... makes no difference

OneMoreWish · 17/01/2019 22:12

Why did you have to find her pass? I think your daughter should have taken the time to find her own pass?

Hope lesson has been learnt ( and she doesn't lean on you to fix things / find pass going forward)

diddl · 17/01/2019 22:17

" If I hadn’t found her pass, then she wouldn’t be in college until my next day off - "

So did she not look for it yesterday whilst she was at home?

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 22:25

Speaking from experience, it's hard to look through drawers or even a wardrobe or closet when one arm is broken OneMoreWish and diddl.

I have, for example, a chest of drawers that requires two hands to pull out the drawers as there are two knobs on each drawer and pulling them out using one knob results in a stuck drawer.

OneMoreWish · 17/01/2019 22:37

Yes I agree but would the shirt she had the pass in have been in a chest of drawers? Surely would have to get washed first so would be in laundry or pass would have been taken out before washed and put down somewhere.

Mother implied if she hadn't found it hen daughter would not of.

I think the daughter should have found it ( or at least thought about and worked out where it was so mother didn't have to look for it.)

I guess I think daughter should have stepped up rather than relying on her mum

onegiftedgal · 17/01/2019 22:42

Down here if you lose or forget your pass then you have to pay the fare.

SpeedyBojangles · 17/01/2019 22:50

I don't think YABU.

You can't pay a fare on the bus as you've explained (why people keep chiming in with 'pay the fare' I do not know), and you said he knew her. It was harsh of him to kick her off the bus.

Some arsey replies on here. Yes a mile isn't far and you've all had to walk 16 miles in a blizzard with holes in your shoes and two broken ankles but it was still harsh of the driver.

AlbaChick · 17/01/2019 22:57

You know you need a pass to get on the bus. Tell the driver you don’t have it before you sit down. If he won’t take you, get back off the bus and hop into parents car. Parent waited to make sure driver will take you. Driver may know you but may have instructions not to carry people without passes. Might have been consequences for taking passenger without pass. Could have been sorted without issue.