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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter kicked off bus aibu

812 replies

user1471461798 · 16/01/2019 19:59

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
pollymere · 17/01/2019 19:32

My dd has walked that on her own since Y5...If the bus driver knows her, it seems a bit mean but no pass means no ride. Why didn't someone give her a lift?

purplebunny2012 · 17/01/2019 19:32

Also, my son was on a school bus from 4 (until they cancelled it). Still had to have a pass and he did. I attached it to his book bag and he never lost it once, at 4 & 5 years old

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/01/2019 19:32

GiantKitten

I may be wrong (happy to be proved so) but aren't Stagecoach & Arriva the ones that require or required bus drivers to make up the shortfall of fares out of their wages?

Waspnest · 17/01/2019 19:34

It's NOT a public bus. The OP has said it is a bus that only goes to the college. MN can you please frigging well introduce a tick box that people have to tick to show they have at least read the OP before they are allowed to post?

FrancisCrawford · 17/01/2019 19:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HippyMama90 · 17/01/2019 19:38

If it'd been a school bus you'd have been well within your rights to complain but she didn't have the correct pass for a special bus to college and she is 17 some would say she is an adult (some class 18 as adult), either way she isn't a child, she could have even got a taxi or asked someone else to take her.

Annoying yes, a bit over the top by the driver yes but it was a mistake on her part.

Waspnest · 17/01/2019 19:40

Yes but on a public bus you could presumably borrow money (on this occasion the OP could have chucked her DD a fiver) but the driver doesn't take money which is why there should be a system in place for if a student loses their pass.

GiantKitten · 17/01/2019 19:42

BoneyBackJefferson
I may be wrong (happy to be proved so) but aren't Stagecoach & Arriva the ones that require or required bus drivers to make up the shortfall of fares out of their wages?

I don't know - these were the statements I found ( from June 2016):

Arriva
"The driver has a certain amount of change, but we do encourage customers where possible to have the correct change.
"We don’t refuse travel. If they can’t change the note by the end of the customer's journey they hand the cash back – take the customer's details and they are asked to pay the within seven days at a travel shop.
"Customers can purchase tickets through our m-ticket app and we are planning to introduce more ways to pay in the near future."

Stagecoach
"Our drivers are issued with a float but we have a process in place for those occasions when they can’t provide change.
"The driver may ask the customer to check back with them before they leave the bus, if think they are likely to have more cash later.
"Alternatively, we have a company form to record the customer’s name and address, so we can resolve the outstanding payment later."

Original poster
user1471461798 · 17/01/2019 19:46

just got in. I saw her sit down so then drove away. it’s still over an hour by car in the opposite direction to my work. If she had been refused whilst I was waiting, I would then have taken her home. I would have been about 2 hours late for work, if I had taken her to college. I’m not saying the driver didn’t have the right to refuse her travel, but shouldn’t have let her sit down, then chuck her off. Arm is in plaster. If I hadn’t found her pass, then she wouldn’t be in college until my next day off - next Monday!!!

OP posts:
bourbonbiccy · 17/01/2019 20:00

I think YABU, you both need to take responsibility. She didn't have her pass, which you both knew, the rules state she needed it to travel, which you both knew, so why put the driver in the position where he either had to break the rules of his job or throw a girl off the bus with a broken arm.
Some people always try to shift the blame. And she's bloomin 17 not 10

Supermum29 · 17/01/2019 20:01

So bus drivers will now never be able to kick someone off that doesn’t have the right fare/ticket for the journey because they owe a duty of care.... load of rubbish. Sorry OP but YABU.

Original poster
user1471461798 · 17/01/2019 20:03

The bus leaves at 6.50, he doesn’t wait, we didn’t realise the pass was missing until we were just going out of the door, it’s always kept attached to her bag, but she took it off and put it in her pocket😏. If we had tried to look for it she would definitely have missed the bus. Lesson learnt,

OP posts:
onefootinthegrave · 17/01/2019 20:09

OP, you've had so many smart arse replies I'm suprised you've been so patient and not bitten by now.

DO you know what, if god forbid anything had happened to your daughter I bet they would be frothing at how awful the driver had been, how for her safety he shouldn't have made her get off etc etc etc

YANBU - but the amount of smuggness on this thread is awful. All this 'my 3 year old walks 500 miles a day don't you know and NEVER EVER loses anything' etc etc etc is laughable. MN is getting worse, I think!

Whyisareallthenamestaken · 17/01/2019 20:12

@Hanywany only a "moron" will get on a bus without a bus pass just because you don't think the driver will check, and then complain for being kicked off. Yes I have a child and still think at 17 she should be more than capable of walking that distance, or being more careful with her pass atleast. It's not unusual for the driver to request for passes maybe once a week or even less often. I've used the bus and that's very common. They can just request for it out the blues when you least expect. It's just a way to catch out those that try to chance it. No one regardless of the age or gender wants to be kicked off the bus, but if you don't want it, then don't chance it and then try to blame the driver for doing his job.

Waspnest · 17/01/2019 20:34

I don't think MN is getting worse but I think AIBU is pretty vile these days. Unfortunately a lot of people post on AIBU for traffic which means that most of the active threads are here. Other parts of the board are lovely actually. I think AIBU gives outsiders a really horrible unrealistic impression of MN.

GiantKitten · 17/01/2019 20:38

onefootinthegrave
YANBU - but the amount of smuggness on this thread is awful. All this 'my 3 year old walks 500 miles a day don't you know and NEVER EVER loses anything' etc etc etc is laughable. MN is getting worse, I think!

Its all been reminding me of the Monty Python 4 Yorkshiremen competitive deprived childhood sketch Grin

cuppycakey · 17/01/2019 20:40

yabu

Bus driver isn't responsible at all. DD is 17, not 7!!

onefootinthegrave · 17/01/2019 20:41

Waspnet you're right actually, I've had some great support on threads re disability, PIP. Thanks for reminding me that most posters are great and it's AIBU where the majority of 's hang out!

Giant Kitten thanks, that's had me laughing out loud! Grin

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 20:43

ChocolateWombat
I can see that this might seem a little harsh and he might have turned a blind eye, but have you got the full story - ie has he turned a blind eye before and she has been warned and now he is acting on it? Ther might well be more to it than meets the eye or DD is reporting

I don't think posters have grasped the implications of the OP's statement about paying for the bus pass:
Oh and I do pay 70.00 a month for her pass. You can only pay by direct debit or all in one go.

That means that the driver would only be justified in any suspicion that the student had not paid for her ride if it was at the beginning of any given month, not bang in the middle.

If she had her pass the day before and on any previous days in January when he checked he should have assumed that the £70 had been paid and that the student was paid up until January 31st.

This is a very stupid and callous jobsworth who does not understand what the lanyard and pass represent - what they show is that a student is paid up for the whole month and has a right to be on the bus.

omione · 17/01/2019 20:44

She is 17 , no doubt she will need a week off after having to walk sucha huge distance in the rain . No doubt she manages to go out at night in the dark to socialise. She is not a child

Waspnest · 17/01/2019 20:44

I think it's where all the traffic wardens hang out.

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 20:45

YYY to the regrettable smugness on the thread.

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 20:46

Also some very nasty people here.

Hanywany · 17/01/2019 20:50

Thank you mathanxiety half the people on here havnt read properly its so fustrating when you speak to people who have half an idea! Then try to justify being callous and cold hearted!

SuspiciouslyMinded · 17/01/2019 20:50

The majority of replies here are the reason I never ask MN for advice any more. I especially love the “she should have cash to pay the fare” mantra after you explained that paying is not an option on this bus.

YANBU, the driver may have played by the rules, but sometimes playing strictly by the rules is plain mean. That was the case here.