Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter kicked off bus aibu

812 replies

user1471461798 · 16/01/2019 19:59

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

OP posts:
Thread gallery
9
GySgtHartman · 17/01/2019 17:22

Had anyone considered that maybe the driver isn't a jobsworth but was just doing his job and ensuring that he doesn't get fired? Maybe he knew there were going to be inspectors that day. Maybe letting someone on without a pass is a sackable offence, new management has taken over and he didn't want to risk his job and ability to support his family.

But fuck it. Never mind him, an almost adult got a bit wet walking home therefore he's s cock juggling thundercunt who likes to bully teenage girls for shits and giggles.

Poloshot · 17/01/2019 17:24

She's 17, time to learn responsibility.

awesomeness · 17/01/2019 17:30

She's 17, not really a child. To be fair I think your being over protective, she could of been anyone getting on that bus and they have a duty of care to other students

flowergrrl77 · 17/01/2019 17:31

Normal bus drivers do have a duty of care to minors and the vulnerable, they’re supposed to do things like call the police or help the person with where they’re going or radio in to HQ...

I know this because I have family members who are bus drivers, one of which also has the extra licence needed to run a commercial bus company.

I can only guess that this is more like a private coach hire...

I’d be properly pissed off... but given there is NO alternative.. would express I was unhappy to managers in a very polite way...

GL!

peachdribble · 17/01/2019 17:40

While the bus driver might be following correct procedure, a bit of leeway would have been appreciated if my kids were in a similar position, especially with a broken arm. Yanbu

CasanovaFrankenstein · 17/01/2019 17:41

If she knows him as she catches it every day presumably he knows she has a pass/where she’s going... I think he could have used his judgment better.

manicmij · 17/01/2019 17:44

YABU. The duty of care lies with your DD to ensure she has her bus pass!

Psalmist21 · 17/01/2019 17:48

As the wife of a bus driver, the bus driver was following the rules. Can’t blame him for that. As harsh as it may be, it was up to his discretion to bend those rules for your daughter.

marcopront · 17/01/2019 17:49

@flowergrrl77
With your knowledge of bus drivers, please tell us what would happen to the driver if an inspector got on and found an adult passenger without a pass or ticket.

I think most bus companies charge 17 year olds as an adult.

danceswith · 17/01/2019 17:52

YANBU. Sorry but I agree with the original poster, we live very rural and the bus drivers know the kids that get on daily, so to me that driver was taking the piss. My dd aged 11 was dropped by a previous driver 2.5 miles from home and told to wait for her mum even though bus was 10 mins early and I had always been there to collect her. Upshot for my dd is she is picked up and dropped off at home. The thing you city dwellers don't realise is we country bumpkins don't have pavements and street lights. And my daughter only has a bus pass for previous bus, not the private taxi she now has. Councils have a responsibility for the kids even if they are adult

DuchessChesh · 17/01/2019 17:55

Had same with my lad and driver was right not to let him go on the bus. (FYI. My 17 son has cognitive issues and deaf, still no excuse). Colleges are quite rightly strict on lanyards and id. All students have this drummed into them. It is after all for their own safety that whoever is in a college at any time is correctly id. Same goes for the buss. No pass/ id = no journey. There is a process all students are made fully aware of if id is lost. As others have said, you and more specifically your daughter chose to ignore the rules and suffered the consequences. Lesson learnt.

avocadoincident · 17/01/2019 17:56

I think he's a jobs worth. Life isn't black and white and he could've said make sure you have it tomorrow or you are off. It's annoying when they don't normally check for passes and the one day you forget they check. YANBU

bubblegumunicorn · 17/01/2019 18:03

No duty of care to 17 year olds they have to ensure that the people on the bus are supposed to be there the college should have a back up like a letter of enrolment she could print off at home in case of situations like this but they don’t have to let people on with out proper id

MibsXX · 17/01/2019 18:05

Ok, I have a 12yr old takes a school bus in a very rural area, he too would and has been refused travel if no pass, with the same driver every day.. driver HAS to refuse travel with no pass, else he loses his job

My OH is a college bus driver, same rules apply for them, it's got more to do with insurance and health and safety, and a little prevention of drivers doing "favours"

So, annoying though it is, YABU sorry, especially since you knew she didn't have her pass on her

Slowmovingtraffic · 17/01/2019 18:06

Ok is it just me or am I the only one that finds it strange that this teenager takes the bus instead of walking a couple miles everyday!? My college was over 5 miles away from my house when I was young I wouldn't have dreamed of taking a bus or asking my parents for a lift.

Misses point of thread completely Grin

GySgtHartman · 17/01/2019 18:06

Yeah, I find it annoying when I forget my money and the jobsworths at Tesco don't just let me have my shopping.

I mean I am in there daily.

listsandbudgets · 17/01/2019 18:07

YABU. 17 is old enough to sort herself out.

Plenty of people aged well under 17 walk a mile or more to school on a regular basis.

You should have taken her in and charged her for the petrol - maybe that would have made her more careful with her stuff in future

That said it would have been nice if the driver had decided to give her a chance but he wasn't compelled to and may be bound by strict rules himself.

Twillow · 17/01/2019 18:07

Its unfortunate but YABU, she didn't have evidence so they are within their rights. In terms of duty of care, it's not the bus drivers job to sort out her mistakes, unfortunate as they may be - why couldn't she call you, or a taxi, or pay the fare instead?

LuckyLou7 · 17/01/2019 18:09

I think the driver was mean, presuming he knows the girl as she travels to college daily.

listsandbudgets · 17/01/2019 18:11

danceswith we used to get dropped a mile from home by the school bus and normally we walked from the age of 5 or 6 onwards. That was countryside with no lights or pavements - the upside was very few cars :)

Yinv · 17/01/2019 18:13

Sounds like a really nasty person. He knew she had a lanyard, he knew she forgot/lost it. College is 1.5 hours away and she had a broken arm. Although he has the rules on his side, he took the opportunity to be unkind and seemed to relish it. Not a person I’d like to know.

I can’t see what it has to do with insurance etc as he doesn’t check passes every day.

Vicky1990 · 17/01/2019 18:18

Two points happened here.
Your daughter lost here pass and could not find it, this sort of thing happens in life, we all do it and it's not a big deal.
Second she is told quite deliberately to get off the bus.
This wasn't an accident, mistakes or confusing but a deliberate act of unreasonable behavior by the driver that could have ended up with some serious consequences.
The driver needs to listen to words of advice about good judgment and how as an adult he/she should have known better.
This was a safety issue, the driver has a duty of care and failed to deliver that care.

MibsXX · 17/01/2019 18:21

"But equally, there are always multiple ways of getting around here and you'd be unlikely to have to depend on a school bus that takes 90 minutes."

Lol, where we are, there is one school bus daily, and now only one public bus every two hours between 7am and 7pm only, 6 days a week, to get to the nearest town, 16 miles away

MibsXX · 17/01/2019 18:24

"I can’t see what it has to do with insurance etc as he doesn’t check passes every day."

We don't actually know if a council inspector was sat somewhere on that bus, they often do here randomly, it's THEIR job to ensure drivers check

Oscarsdaddy · 17/01/2019 18:31

The driver was unreasonable especially if you say he knows your DD as she uses the bus a lot. I can understand him getting shitty if she did it all the time, turning a blind eye sometimes is the helpful way especially if the bus only takes students to and from college