Daughter kicked off bus aibu

[user1471461798]

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

from your original post, gin:

Child brings knife or gun into school one day.
School expelled child and removes pass.
Angry child gets on bus next day claiming she's lost her pass.
Bus driver let's her stay (even though it's his job to check for passes)
Angry girl kills all on bus.

I don't understand your point at all. He can't stop kids getting on the bus and stabbing people if they have a pass. This is just one of those unavoidable situations.

If they don't have a pass, because it was removed by the school (because they were deamed unsafe) then he rightly, shouldn't let them on and they would protect the other pupils.

RiverTam I'd give up if I were you. I'm not even sure ginpink is in the UK (no school I know of has identity passes to enter the school, apart from school books and clothing name tags I'm not sure many of the students have any form of ID on them - ironically it's probably only those with bus passes who do! Maybe it's different in inner city London?).

@Waspnest I am in the uk and have work in a school with ID passes. Security is high on ofsted's list, many schools use an ID pass system.

I shall - if gin doesn't understand her own post there's not much I can do!

I'm inner city London and there's certainly one school near me with metal detectors but in fact I have no idea what the set up is for most secondaries or 6th forms. But equally, there are always multiple ways of getting around here and you'd be unlikely to have to depend on a school bus that takes 90 minutes.

Walking a mile at 17?? Cancel the cheque!!

My 3 year old walks over a mile to and from nursery (not on his own). We have to walk 3/4 mile down a farm track before we reach our rural village that doesn't have pavements.

All the secondary age children in our village walk a minimum of 2 miles to get to the bus stop on the main road. Down country lanes with no street lighting and no pavements. People take care: the children learn from a young age to take care and all the drivers take care. If you live rurally then you need to know how to live rurally!

The amount of traffic increases due to people not wanting to walk on rural roads thus making the roads more dangerous.

he said”just a lesson to you all, not to forget your lanyards” so hopefully no one else will.

Maybe he's sick of entitled young adults thinking they don't need to take responsibility for themselves 🤷🏼‍♀️

He doesn't know that she hasn't been expelled, or had her pass withdrawn; he only knows that if you have no pass, you cannot ride the bus.

You're lucky she even gets a bus pass,my kids don't because they live within 3 miles of the college,so they either have to walk the 2 and a half miles or I have to fork out for the bus fair. Anyway as you dropped your DD off at the bus stop,surely you could have just driven on for a few minutes and taken her all the way no?

Metal detectors make sense if there's a knife crime problem and are probably more effective at keeping students safe. Perhaps that's your problem gin, you're assuming that all schools are like the ones where you have worked. Most aren't like that (thankfully).

the99 what a shame you didn't read all the OP's posts before posting that essay.

Nut if the bus takes 90 minutes even if it is round the houses, I doubt it would take the OP 'a few minutes' to drive her DD to college. Regardless of whether she's getting herself to work on time, of course.

Wasp quite. DD won't be attending that school if I can help it. DH walked past some machete-wielding teens not that long ago, I very much hope we won't still be living here when DD goes to secondary! (Though a mile the other way it's completely different, such is London!)

Nut if the bus takes 90 minutes even if it is round the houses, I doubt it would take the OP 'a few minutes' to drive her DD to college. Regardless of whether she's getting herself to work on time, of course
I read it that the college was just over a mile away?.

I think it's pretty rough, especially as the driver knows her.

No, her home is a mile from the bus stop.

So presumably there's no other way at all that she could have got to the college?

And there's no other id she could have shown to prove that she's a student there that would have been acceptable?

Of course the daftest thing of all is that the lanyard wasn't even lost & could easily have been found the night before & left ready.

yes, but nobody is perfect (except on MN, of course), and the college do need to have a better system as it could have been stolen or properly lost - the fact that it was just mislaid is a bit of a red herring, as it's shown up that the system doesn't work.

I could be wrong but it sounds like this driver must know this child - it's a bus route specific to this college and she gets it every single day from the same stop.

I actually think it's inconceivable he doesn't recognise her.

And the thing is, because he doesn't do his job properly, he doesn't know who has a pass when because he doesn't check daily. He can't just dip in and out of doing his job properly. Either the children have to show their passes every day or they don't - but then he doesn't get to chuck anyone off. It's up to him.

i find it interesting that so many posters are happier to make excuses for the school and the driver but not a 17 year old, who must be perfect in every way.

I lived alone when I was 17.
Now she's 17 she's walking a mile.
Goodness gracious.

YANBU the driver should have given her a warning and let her stay on the bus. Esp in the UK it's still dark at that time in Jan. Technically she's still a child at 17.

@ginpink -- Surely in your hypothetical scenario the reasonable thing to do would be to alert the bus driver to the fact that a student on his route was expelled and would no longer be permitted to take the bus, not just to take the bus pass? As stated, the passes are not checked daily anyway, and besides, even if they were, wouldn't it be reasonable to alert the driver to an expulsion?

Also, the OP said she would not have minded if the driver had not let her on the bus but she was allowed on and only afterwards did he check for a pass. In this instance the hypothetical madman kid would have already been able to enact their violent revenge if that's what they were after.

How has your daughter gone to college today?

Many posters are pointing out that the girl is almost an adult but almost is not an adult. She is still a child. She should no more have been asked to leave the bus than a seven year old. They are both children and your child was, very obviously, temporarily disabled.

OP. I'm appalled by the responses you have received from both the college and the bus company to your very valid complaint.

Did you email your complaint to the bus company or call them up? I would send a registered letter to the coach company and request a meeting, preferably with the driver and your daughter present so that he-or a representative of the company-can apologise in person to the whole family. This is a safe guarding issue.

Again, the college need to explain-in person- why throwing a temporarily disabled child off the bus in those conditions, is not a safe guarding issue.

Going forward, could they provide a number that all students could call if they find themselves in a similar position. We all lose things, especially children!

It might be an idea to have a quick with a local community police officer to get their take on the incident.

Good luck and I hope your poor girl is feeling better.

STOP!!! Listen to yourselves!

You are getting yourselves all unnecessary over “coulda woulda shoulda” situations.

This innocent 17 year old who simply did what most of us do and forgot her pass is suddenly a mass murderer. Wise up the lot of you. No need for a kangaroo court where a 17 year old with a broken arm and a forgetful moment gets punished for killing the student population of her town. There is also no need to get your sewing machines out to run up a super hero cape for the driver for knowing (via his tingling spider senses) that this is the day he should check everybody’s paid up and anybody who can’t prove it is about to wipe out his other passengers.

I live in the real world where, yes there is crime and sadly there are children involved. Trust me, I’ve been a victim of horrendous crime so I’m speaking from experience.

But I’m also speaking as one person with common sense (you all have it, but hide it well!) I’d say rewind and think about this seriously.

The driver should have taken a calculated risk and allowed OP’s DD to continue her journey in a safe environment. She had faith in him to drive safely and had no idea if he was a legit driver who hadn’t been sacked the day before and stole the bus after tying up his replacement in the depot!!

I digress.

OP I think your feelings were justified.

Tbh Op, I just think that it needs filing under unfortunate consequences.