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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Daughter kicked off bus aibu

812 replies

user1471461798 · 16/01/2019 19:59

Just wondered what everyone’s thoughts on this was? 17 year old daughter dropped off at the bus stop at 6.44 this morning, she had lost her lanyard with her bus pass on, so was going into college to get a temporary pass, we knew it was at home somewhere. Got on, sat down, the bus driver then asked to see everyone’s pass.. Doesn’t do this every day- specific bus only for her college.( 1st stop in the morning, last stop at night). obviously she didn’t have it, explained and he told her to get off the bus, she asked if she could just go to college and get a temporary pass. ( I know this is true as her friend told her mother the same ).

She then had to walk over a mile in the dark and rain, We had all left for work. also she has a broken arm, so had to carry bags as well. We have asked for an explanation from both the bus company and college, no reply from coach, but college have said the driver was correct!
I feel the coach company had a duty of care to make sure she was safe. What is everyone’s thoughts please?
Maybe a while getting back to everyone, going to the cinema now😊

OP posts:
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9
AgentProvocateur · 17/01/2019 03:29

One mile! In the dark! ShockShock Grin

ree348 · 17/01/2019 04:00

Wow some of the posters on here! I don't think you're being unreasonable and given where you live and her arm situation I would be annoyed too!

I understand he was following 'protocol' but the college should know that it's not as black and white as that.

I would follow up with them and in future tell your daughter to keep a photo of her ID on her phone.

ree348 · 17/01/2019 04:01

Wow some of the posters on here! I don't think you're being unreasonable and given where you live and her arm situation I would be annoyed too!

I understand he was following 'protocol' but the college should know that it's not as black and white as that.

I would follow up with them and in future tell your daughter to keep a photo of her ID on her phone.

EnglishPuffins · 17/01/2019 04:22

If she can't walk one mile at age 17 when do you think she will be able to? 18? 19? Some people leave home at 16!

Sorry OP but she sounds very mollycoddled. I also think it's odd that she even called you at the time to tell you. You were on your way to work!

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 17/01/2019 04:56

OP in your opinion he may have been a jobsworth, but jobsworth or not he had to follow policy, if he had allowed your DD to travel and they were in an accident, your daughter would Not be covered on the insurance policy in the event of an injury.

Now would you be happy with that even tho you were aware that she’s misplaced her bus pass Hmm personally I don’t think you would be

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 05:08

CoastalLife Wed 16-Jan-19 20:18:53

It's one of those situations where technically yes, the bus driver was within his rights to kick her off the bus because she didn't have her pass and them's the rules. However, I wonder what most of us would do if we drove the same bus every day to the same college to drop off the same 4 pupils (I.e. we know them) and one of them turned up one day having lost her pass and asking if we could allow her to ride the bus as she does every single day, so that she can get a temporary pass from the office. I can say with certainty that I would not be turning the teenage girl away to walk alone, in the semi-darkness, with a broken arm. And yes, I realise a broken arm doesn't stop you walking but it could potentially make you a more attractive prospect for a mugger or worse.

^THIS

I hope you complain to the bus operator.

A lot of rural areas feature roads with no footpaths. It's not always safe to walk at the side of such a road when it's still dark, and raining.
And to the poster who implies women only get raped after dark in urban areas where drugs are sold - Biscuit.

...after he kicked her off, he said”just a lesson to you all, not to forget your lanyards” so hopefully no one else will.
Yes, this was a nasty jobsworth.

He knew she had paid for the month because he saw her lanyard all month to this point. There are only four regulars on the bus after all.

He wasn't concerned about insurance in the case of accident, or some stranger getting onto the bus. He knew she had a pass for the month. Just a punctilious little knob.

ivykaty44 · 17/01/2019 05:28

For those of you saying that the bus driver is a jobs worth doing his job and to complain about him - who are you going to complain about him to? His boss that asks him to do his job and check bus passes and set his job discription? Even the op stated that the bus driver checks the bus passes on random days therefore they knew it was part of his job. What do you think his bosses are going to say?

BoomBoomsCousin · 17/01/2019 05:56

The OP says she's complained to the college who have said he was right and doing his job. I would suggest the OP and her daughter should complain to the college that their policies are unreasonable, pedantic and unnecessary and not conducive to a good learning environment. Given that the college is set in a remote location and people will often not have another route, that there should be a process for people who, for whatever reason, do not have their pass to still get to the campus so they can attend lectures and go to the office to get a temporary or replacement pass. That allowing the bus driver discretion to allow people he has reason to think are likely to be legitimate riders to remain on the bus would be a better approach than having the driver religiously enforce a no-pass no-ride rule.

nothinglikeadame · 17/01/2019 06:07

There will be more to this story, I would love to hear the drivers side.

I would imagine there is a definite reason there is a 'no lanyard no ride' policy , previous incidents etc .

Also, perhaps there was a bit if back chat from your daughter that will have riled tbe driver?

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 06:15

Maybe he is supposed to check them daily? And therefore he is a half arsed jobsworth...
Maybe he should have realised that one of his four regular passengers had her pass the previous day and that therefore her fare was paid monthly, and maybe he needs reminding that possession of the lanyard did not affect the fact that his company had taken the passenger's money (or the OP's) and she was a passenger in good standing. Bosses could perhaps gently point this out to this heartless and clearly stupid driver.

The bosses need to look at the problem they caused - a female student being turfed off the bus in a rural area and having to make her way home or on to college, possibly in an area without footpaths. They need to look at whether their conduct was reasonable in those circumstances and given that the driver ferries the same four students from the particular stop on to the college daily, and given that he can assume all four have paid in advance monthly whether they have a lanyard or not.

I agree with BoomBoomsCousin.

Tiredismymiddlename85 · 17/01/2019 06:16

If she or you are that worried about her walking in the dark then she should have just missed college for the day (Hardly a hardship). Why is it that when people can't get their shit together it has to be someone else's fault! There are rules and procedures for a reason....if the bus company stipulates a pass then that's the requirement. It's not worth his job for one day maybe mis-recognising someone and something disastrous happen. Your daughter needs to get more organised....and it was her choice to walk, lug her stuff with a broken arm. You could have easily dropped her off if it's only a mile away if she had a broken arm!!!

Becles · 17/01/2019 06:19

She's 17. She knew she needed her bus pass. Why didn't she speak to the bus driver when she got on the bus rather than just sitting down?

DitheringBlidiot · 17/01/2019 06:26

Just a thought but perhaps this isn’t the first time she hasn’t been able to show her bus pass, and the bus driver has said next time she’s off the bus?

cliffdiver · 17/01/2019 06:28

YABU.

BUs driver was correct to not allow her on the bus.

For all he knew, her explanation of losing her ID badge could be a lie and she could have been excluded and the ID confiscated.

lostvoice · 17/01/2019 06:37

Unfortunately at this age lessons like this do need to be learnt, he might have been a bit of a jobsworth but in a year she could be potentially living across the country at uni somewhere and she will have to fend for herself and remember important things

Notunderstanding · 17/01/2019 06:48

A mile.... at 18 I left home and walked 7 miles total a day to and from work.

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 06:48

She did miss college for the day Tiredismymiddlename85.

She walked home. College is an hour and a half away (presumably on foot though it could have been by bus as she was on the bus at 6.45).
She did miss a day of college as I couldn’t get her there, working. - according to the OP.

As to the driver doing the four university-bound students a good deed by this display of tough love - seriously?
This driver had no way of knowing how far the girl would have to walk to get home, and he had no way of knowing if there were footpaths by the roads on her route home - though he did know how far she would have to walk if she had decided to walk on to the college and that did not deter him from dumping her on the side of the road.
He recklessly and callously disregarded the safety of this young woman.

What if she had had to walk five miles home?
What if there was a section of motorway that she normally traversed by car to get to the bus stop?

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 06:50

if the bus company stipulates a pass then that's the requirement.

If the bus company stipulates a pass then he should check them every day.

AlexaAmbidextra · 17/01/2019 06:53

So it was dark. Do you expect us to believe that as a 17 year old she never goes out after dark unsupervised?

OhTheRoses · 17/01/2019 07:01

He was unreasonable. I recall a precedent whereby a driver kicked a young woman off a bus for not having the fare in the dark, albeit in the evening. The young woman was then attacked and raped. I believe the bus company was held responsible and had to change their policies.

DD once was not allowed on a bus because her oyster was out of credit. Because there had been delays and the remaining credit had timed out. Not dd's fault. Dual carriageway 2.5 miles from home, v dark and cold, heavy bags, nowhere to top up.

DD was at the time having mh problems and was a vulnerable adult. Some disabilities are invisible. A broken arm whilst temporary isn't.

It was a safeguarding issue. Unacceptable

BoneyBackJefferson · 17/01/2019 07:02

To all those saying that the OP should complain.

She already has and the school/college has said that the driver was correct and the coach company have not replied, I suspect that they won't.

OhTheRoses · 17/01/2019 07:03

Meant to put above the bus company provided a comprehemsive apology and assurance the driver had received addl training

mathanxiety · 17/01/2019 07:11

AlexaAmbidextra,
It was dark and in a rural area. She could have been hit by a car as she walked. We don't know if there was a footpath between the spot where she was thrown off the bus and her home. Nor did the driver, more to the point.

The OP needs to get a solicitor to write a stiff letter to the coach company pointing out the reckless disregard for the safety of a paying customer. This approach usually elicits a response.

RhiWrites · 17/01/2019 07:15

I agree 100% with @DishingOutDone

Also walking in the dark can be a lot worse when you live rurally. Does this walk involve pavements or street lighting? How many people here would like to walk on a winding country road in the dark?

OP, it was cruel. Your daughter may be nearly adult but she has a broken arm. How is it in any way more sensible for her to have to pay for a taxi or get a lift to school for a replacement pass? The policy sucks here. I’m really sorry she had such a miserable experience.

alwayscrashinginthesamecar1 · 17/01/2019 07:18

Good god its a 20 minute walk for a 17 year old, big deal!