Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

y sister financially benefitting from our parents AGAIN - Theead 2.

547 replies

QueenofmyPrinces · 16/01/2019 17:40

My mom is due over in 20 minutes so let’s see if she turns up on time for a start......

Feeling very nervous and already feeling upset to be honest. I’m worried I’m just going to burst into tears when I see her Sad

Thanks everyone for your support on the the first thread and I will let you know how tonight goes Flowers

OP posts:
SimplyPut · 06/02/2019 13:45

Hope all went well last night.

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 08/02/2019 07:29

Sorry for the late reply.

Things went fine with my sister, we spoke about mom a little and my sister did say that towards the end of the conversation of with our mom (this was after I had left) our mom had seemed to take onboard more what my sister had been saying regarding the money for the grandchildren.

Apparently my sister had reiterated that her ex-DP financially provides very well for their daughters so there was no need for my mom to be stashing money away in the belief that the children were at some disadvantage compared to other children.

Our mom had then said that her only intention was to help and she felt like she’d been doing the right thing.

But the big news is that since then I have had a text from my mom asking if we can talk. I replied and said if I didn’t know I was ready for it and she replied saying “please?”

So my DH is taking the boys out this evening and she’s over.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 08/02/2019 07:34

Good luck

CarpeVitam · 08/02/2019 08:03

Well that sounds really positive Queenof! I really hope it goes well for you. Hugs x

Babyblade · 08/02/2019 08:56

There's a glimmer of hope - good luck for this evening. x

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 08/02/2019 09:03

Fingers crossed for you for this evening OP.

RandomMess · 08/02/2019 09:07

I hope your Mom has understood enough that you can move forward Thanks

Ginkythefangedhellpigofdoom · 08/02/2019 09:19

Hi. I lost your thread for a while sorry Iv not been around!

Just wanted to say good luck today.

Your entitled to your boundaries so don't let her mow them down ok.

I really hope that this is the beginning of your mom building a better relationship with you.

If it isn't though know that I believe you will cope, you are strong enough to deal with any outcome that happens.

NWQM · 08/02/2019 10:58

Good luck this evening

cstaff · 08/02/2019 11:04

Oh best of luck tonight OP but not trying to put a dampner of things but don't get your hopes up. So far your mums record has not been good in this respect. Just hold back a bit until you can figure out where she is coming from.

I really do hope things go well though

SparklyPusscatMug · 08/02/2019 12:51

I really hope it goes well tonight Queen Flowers

WhatchaMaCalllit · 08/02/2019 13:19

Good luck this evening @QueenofmyPrinces. I'll be thinking of you. Really hope you hear something new and something that you want to hear from your mum.

NigelMolesworth · 08/02/2019 14:47

Good luck Queen Flowers

Keep in mind what you want and how you feel. You might have to spell out to her that you want to talk and and you want her to properly listen and try to understand what you're telling her.

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 08/02/2019 15:44

Thank you all Flowers

She’s coming over at 6pm and I feel ridiculously nervous Grin

OP posts:
Mia184 · 08/02/2019 15:52

I wish you a positive outcome Flowers

OhLookHeKickedTheBall · 08/02/2019 17:02

Hope it goes well tonight. Try not to have your hopes up. Good luck

FilthyforFirth · 08/02/2019 17:19

Best of luck for tonight. Your resolve continues to impress me.

Original poster
QueenofmyPrinces · 08/02/2019 18:36

She’s still here but I have had to sneak out to the bathroom to tell you she’s just presented me with a cheque for half of the amount she had saved for my nieces!!

I don’t know what to say or what to do with it.

OP posts:
user1496259972 · 08/02/2019 18:38

She’s taken what both you and your sister have been saying on board and acted on it. Thank her for listening to you and try and work on rebuilding your relationship x

Yulebealrite · 08/02/2019 18:44

Reject it with a "it's really not about the money" but thank her for the offer and say it helps. If she really insists then accept graciously.

WhoGivesADamnForAFlakeyBandit · 08/02/2019 18:58

Are you also going to get your back dated pocket money?

MyDisposableUsername · 08/02/2019 19:07

Reject it with a "it's really not about the money" but thank her for the offer and say it helps.

I disagree. You should accept it, since it's the children's money. Don't disadvantage them over a point of pride.

I know you're not hard up, but they'll really appreciate the extra when it comes to university or putting down a deposit on a house.

BusyMumHere · 08/02/2019 19:08

Thank her for the offer and please accept it. Your family has to get used to giving you and your dc gifts as well. You've been the sacrificial lamb for too long. Flowers

tattyheadsmum · 08/02/2019 19:09

She’s taken what both you and your sister have been saying on board and acted on it. Thank her for listening to you and try and work on rebuilding your relationship

This

ContessaIsOnADietDammit · 08/02/2019 19:09

Accept it and say thank you.

Then check how much your sister got cynical