To ask if you would work (hypothetical)

[TheExtraGuineaPig]

There have been a few threads on here, plus the Bezos story that have got me wondering.

Would you work if you had a really well paid DP/DH/DW. Not as rich as Jeff Bezos (!) but in the 1%, £500k pa or similar. In my scenario you have kids at school - need care before and after plus holidays - and have had a career in the past but not one that really lends itself to part time work. Any PT work would be average pay.

I'm not sure what I would do.. would be worried about becoming unemployable in the case of disaster striking but also would find it very hard to get motivated to go out to work.

All depends on your family dynamics. Which are changeable.
I was in this position and didn't work.
I didn't want to, I was v happy keeping busy with house improvements, school runs, admin, lunches etc. But then my husband became resentful because he was stressed at work.
If you get a job then you have one more thing to arrange your life around. You're more restricted with holidays, after school care etc. Lovely if you can get a couple of hours a day, term time only, satisfying job, but if that would be v hard to come by.

No. I'd do more volunteering and I'd also then have the money to spend on my hobby and hopefully turning that into a business.

Er, no.

@thecatsthecats, sorry, what?

Probably. I'd be bored shitless otherwise. And I wouldn't want my dc to grow up with a "rich daddy goes to work, mummy stays at home" idea of normality.

My response was to that... why would it have to be like that?

Genuine question - would you not find things to do for yourself? My parents have never needed work not to sit around bored shitless.

Probably, a bit. But only because I'd feel like I ought to, not because I'd actually want to. I could find gazillions of ways to happily occupy my time if I had enough money to do them.

Well, if I was staying home because I had a partner earning c£500k, then whether I filled my time or not, I would still be raising my children with "rich daddy goes to work and mummy stays home" as normal, and I really would not want that.

I have no idea whether other people would be bored or not without employment but I almost certainly would.

icannotremember I don't want my kids to grow up thinking that we all must work outside the home for pay, whether we like our jobs or they help society or there's something more fulfilling/ enriching / fun / worthwhile we'd rather be doing or children who'd rather us be at home (and some DC do like having a parent at home - I certainly did). It's so very very far removed from reality that it's hard to imagine but if DH (or I) were bringing home £20k+ each month then we'd look at ways for us all to have the easiest life possible including saving LOTS to enable the high earner to give up work.

For context £500,000 salary is absolutely unthinkable around here. You can buy a 4 bed house with garden and drive in outstanding secondary catchment for c.£200,000. It would be virtually impossible not to save vast amounts.

NO!

I don't work to get entertained or fulfilled, I work simply to earn money. I am lucky enough that my job is reasonably good fun and not badly paid, but I am only there for the bank transfer at the end of each month.

I would have plenty to occupy myself out of an office, without a boss and a schedule to follow. I wouldn't even know where to start if I didn't have to show my face in the office, there's so much too do. I would be a lot more interesting too if my world didn't revolve around the office and could talk about something else than work and the kids.

I love how on MN most posters have amazing career, fulfilling and making a difference to the world. Of course, some people do, and are absolutely amazing. However, in the real world, the majority of people moan about Sunday night, live for Friday and their holidays, resent their boss, are pissed off with their colleagues and are miserable. In the grand scheme of things, my job is absolutely pointless and makes no difference to the world, but at least it's fun. I would drop it in a second if I could though!

It’s possible to raise your children to accept that there are numerous different circumastancss regarding parents working or not and that your home example isn’t the only possibility to aspire to

icannotremember

Do you honestly think that's ALL the impression your kids would have of you though? Or of your husband?

Do you not think your personality, your other activities, the way you cared for them would not have any effect?

My mum taught us Latin. She was a freelance journalist. She renovated the house with our uncapable assistance. She did science experiments with us. She wrote books. She has opinions, and campaigns for them. She did research. She baked. A lot.

She'd vomit in her mouth if she thought that I saw that as 'mummy stays at home'.

Oh, and my dad would probably raise his eyebrows at the notion that all he did was go to work also.

It is interesting that some people feel the need to be in employment to "define" them. I have a profession, but if I meet someone new it's certainly not the first thing I would tell them about myself. In fact, it doesn't come up at all unless they ask me. I am so much more than my job title.

If we had a secure large income like that i would set up my own business or finally wrote those novels I've been mentally planning when trying to settle children in the wee small hours. So many ways to keep my life rich and interesting without gping put to be employed. I'd take lots of classes, learn interesting things and keep doing the volunteer work which has been the mainstay of my CV whilst I've been off doing this SAHM malarkey.

There's actually a diploma I want to do atm but we can't run to the 3k it would cost and i missed out on the grant I applied for so I might even end up more employable. Right now I just feel like a fucking drudge.

yes - just had 3 months off work with full pay (notice money before new job start) and I hated every single second of it

I can’t imagine not working but it would be nice to drop a few days. I would love to spend more time with my children but also can’t imagine not having my own money.

Yes, and I do.
My DH is a banker.
I want my own salary so I can spend on myself, no issues. I also have a pension and healthcare through my company.
Having said that, I may drop down to 4 days (currently at 5, one WFH) as my DD is young and I want to be with her as much as possible.

How do you manage your life when you are defined by your job?
How do you handle redundancy, how do you accept to take an "inferior" role, how will you survive retirement?

Of course it wouldn't be the only thing they'd learn from me, but for various reasons it's a lesson I'm keen not to teach them. It's not a case of me judging others who do make that choice either. It's just something that matters very much to me.

In my ideal world we would both work part time and bring in plenty of money that way whilst there always being one of us at home. But it's not my ideal world!

My job doesn't define me but it is an important element of my identity. I'm proud of getting the qualifications I needed to do my job and most of the time I'm quite proud of the (not senior or highly paid or high status!) job itself. I hated it when I was on mat leave and suddenly was only ever "minicannotremember's mum".

Nope.
I could quite happily be a lady of leisure - quite happy to be seen as lazy or dependant by others if they thought that.

Yes, I'd get bored. But I'd probably try and set up my own company

I think I'm defined by work b/c it makes me useful & productive & I like overcoming challenges. That can happen in a million job roles, though. Or voluntary work.

If I got locked in syndrome, that would be pretty flipping awful. I would request the suicide clinic probably. A challenge too far, I guess. I can live with this weakness in my character.

I want my own salary so I can spend on myself, no issues. I also have a pension and healthcare through my company.

I’m a SAHM and can spend on myself, no issues. Also have a pension and healthcare.

*I want my own salary so I can spend on myself, no issues. I also have a pension and healthcare through my company.

confused I’m a SAHM and can spend on myself, no issues. Also have a pension and healthcare*

Me too, in fact DH actively encourages me to spend whatever I want on myself because he recognizes that I work hard too. It’s family money and he wouldn’t dream of questioning what I spend (obviously we make the decisions on big ticket items together). I’d never be with a partner that monitored my spending, that is so controlling.

Sorry, bold fail. I can’t work Mumsnet. Maybe I don’t have enough intellectual stimulation as a SAHP