To ask if you would work (hypothetical)

[TheExtraGuineaPig]

There have been a few threads on here, plus the Bezos story that have got me wondering.

Would you work if you had a really well paid DP/DH/DW. Not as rich as Jeff Bezos (!) but in the 1%, £500k pa or similar. In my scenario you have kids at school - need care before and after plus holidays - and have had a career in the past but not one that really lends itself to part time work. Any PT work would be average pay.

I'm not sure what I would do.. would be worried about becoming unemployable in the case of disaster striking but also would find it very hard to get motivated to go out to work.

I would hate to be reliant upon someone else.

I am about to become a SAHP (sadly not because dh is wealthy) having worked and raised 3 kids for the last 11 years.

I loved my job but 3 years ago got a boss who has bullied me and now have no choice but to pack up and go home.

I so believed in the importance of working and having a safety net. But I have 2 disabled children and our circs are changing again as my eldest is very unwell and currently not at school. I don't think I could have managed if I was still working.

Definitely would not work. You could afford to spend more time with your children and not need childcare.

I would study though because I would need the routine of something in my life. Would just pick something that I could fit around the children's schedule. And would go on many holidays

I am married to a high earner and didn’t go back to my fairly well paid job (for which I am highly qualified) after maternity leave with my now 3 year old. Husband works very long, unpredictable hours, often 7 days a week and is abroad a few times a month.

I decided not to go back because my job would have lacked the flexibility needed to cover nursery pick ups, sickness etc and it would always fall on me. I love being at home but only because my DS is in nursery 3 days a week and we have a cleaner. I have time to enjoy my life, read, exercise, cook decent meals, do hobbies (which I earn a bit of money from) etc and it is absolutely wonderful. I am very lucky but I have definitely made sure that I have all the financial protections in place (pension etc), and I continue to ensure I am still employable if I ever want to go back.

I resigned and moved abroad to join dh, so haven't worked in salaried employment for almost 13 years now. I have done some GCSE examining over the years to keep my hand in.

I've enjoyed being around when ds was a teenager, and seeing him through GCSEs and being able to get involved in school things that I couldn't when I was teaching.

At the risk of sounding pious as well, dh earns enough to keep us very nicely, and for me to wrok would be to take a job from someone who might need it more. I'd be working for my satisfaction, not because the money was necessary iyswim. However, this will change when we move back to the UK, and I go job hunting, as I have 6 years of NI to make up.

“I've worked with many men over the years and have seen first hand the contempt they have for their non-working wives”.

^^
In my culture and circle some women work and some don’t. The doctor is no more highly regarded socially then the woman who does charity work or chooses not to work at all. When I was asked recently on holiday by a stranger why I chose not to work, dh answered for me: “Because she doesn’t have to!” Zero contemp there..

*contempt

I agree with the last point .. I've worked in the tech sector for over 20 years and have seen no contempt for non working wives and an awful lot of admiration particularly for partners (sometimes men too) who have sacrificed high flying careers to support a family. The main reasons seem to have been that all the jobs in those international tech companies involve huge amounts of travel and so the working-in-tech parent can't share childcare. Yes of course you can outsource but prob not great for the kids if both parents are away a lot.

Yes.

I would keep my current FT job. Given we would have no issues affording the right childcare solution (nanny, nursery, boarding school, whatever it was) this would be easy to do. We would also have the money to take advantage of the 'easy' option in all cases which limits the decision making burden.

What would I do if I didn't work? I have no desire to be a cleaner, cook or admin worker (which is essentially what you sign up to if you quit work to stay at home).

Actually I would drop hours to 4 days a week. That would be a nice compromise.

I'm currently pt in a job I love so I would keep everything the same.
I would, however, take up some expensive hobbies. (horse riding, deep sea diving etc) And I would go abroad every single time I had annual leave

Yes (he doesn't earn quite that much, but he does alrigh) - I freelance so I can. I don't do full time hours - but what I do is very high level, and I enjoy it, so I don't want to give it up.

Plus I'm competitive, and it only takes one job to pan out and I'll be an equal earner with DP.

Assuming the wealthy man I was married to was happy for me not to be earning I think I would try my hand at something creative like printmaking

Hopefully it would lead to an earning opportunity if my work was good enough but I wouldn't have the stress of needing to become successful quickly due to money worries

No I would spend the time with dcs which I think is important and a great thing to do if you can afford to. I'd study and do something when the dcs are older.
Only on MN is money and work so revered above all else.

I have such a DH (not in Bezos category though!) and I work PT but looking at moving to FT.
Despite having creative hobbies and plenty of friends who don't work I can't stay at home it literally adversely affects my mental health. Hobbies and pottering are not enough. I can completely understand those people who work past the age of retirement!

So yes, I would and I do. I like working.

Dh earns a lot less than that and I barely work as it is

but yeah...anything over the 200k mark and id be handing my notice in

No I wouldn't work. I'd study, keep IT skills up to date, things like that but I wouldn't go out and get a job unless I felt like my marriage might be failing. I'm not going to give up hours/weeks/months of my time for "pennies" (because that's what it would be in your scenario) "just in case" my husband decides to leave me and decides to be a bastard over money.

I see a huge amount of doom and gloom on MN about how being out of the job market for just a few years has supposedly such a huge impact. I don't agree. I was out of the job market for 15 years (and without a proper career before that), other than a few little p/t minimum wage stints in various places (although I did study for some of the time) and I trained and got a professional job in just a couple of years. It is good to keep skills up to date, and yes for some I guess that means continuing to work. But there are other options.

No. I’d go to classes and clubs, exercise and do art work. I’d make sure the house was lovely and I’d cook great meals and spend lots of time with the children.

Or maybe I’d just spend lots of time on my phone and Netflix, thinking ‘I really should start some class.’ Then I’d go and make myself another snack

Oh i should say that i dont have a career

Only a series of low paid very part time jobs

It might have been different if id had a career

I wouldn't give up my job. But I am lucky to have a job that I love, working with wonderful people, a short commute, term time only. If I had a stressful job with long hours, lots of travel etc. then I would probably feel very differently.

DH earns a lot (like under 10%) of that salary. We are able to pay into a private pension for me and pay for income protection insurance should he become too ill to work, plus life insurance and critical illness cover for us both. At the £500k income level (and with a decent partner who shares the money earned) there should be plenty to make provision for the SAHP in case the shit hits the fan. I will go back to work when DC are bigger and the money will make a tangible difference to us, but if DH was earning even double what he does now it'd be very hard to motivate myself to go back to work anything like full time. I'd invest more in the voluntary work I do and continue with the ease of being automatic illness / appointment / school holiday / DPD delivery of washing machine cover.

Sorry - DH earns a LOT LESS THAN that salary- he's a standard rate tax payer.

No.

I'd assume on tbst salary DH wouldn't be doing much scho runs, homework, assemblies etc so that would all fall to me. Scho holidays etc depending on age would be childcare or home alone.

If he earned that kind of money I wouldn't feel happy putting them in childcare / leaving them home alone for weeks on end for a mundane job.

Plenty of charity work I could do on the understanding of it being term time, school hours etc

If I wasn't a mother, absolutely. But I am, I don't need to work (and my old wage for the entire year, from working 8am until 6pm, hour long commutes each way, plus having to work some weekends plus bank holidays, my dh earns in about 3 months or so anyway), and if I did I a) would hardly see my kids, and b) would likely never see dh either due to his crazy hours.

My DH earns a lot (not quite £500k now but he has done in the past) and I have gone back to work PT, 2 days a week in a local job but in the same profession I had previously (law). I have taken a massive step down and will never earn like I did before but I enjoy it, it keeps my mind active and my foot in the door.
Who knows what will happen in the future? I also see way too many women shafted by their ex - just look on the relationship/ divorce boards here. At least I know I could keep myself should it all go wrong.

There is something quite nice about working when you know you don't have to. My DH wouldn't bat an eyelid if I quit tomorrow.