To ask if you would work (hypothetical)

[TheExtraGuineaPig]

There have been a few threads on here, plus the Bezos story that have got me wondering.

Would you work if you had a really well paid DP/DH/DW. Not as rich as Jeff Bezos (!) but in the 1%, £500k pa or similar. In my scenario you have kids at school - need care before and after plus holidays - and have had a career in the past but not one that really lends itself to part time work. Any PT work would be average pay.

I'm not sure what I would do.. would be worried about becoming unemployable in the case of disaster striking but also would find it very hard to get motivated to go out to work.

My DH doesn’t earn that much but most years it’s very comfortably in six figures.
I work part time, I’m very lucky in that respect but I do question if it’s really worth it. The money I make is barely more than the costs of working (nanny, expensive commute, cleaners etc) i sometimes wonder if it’s a job or a hobby. It means I have no free time to work out or have a hair cut and we are both quite stressed because of the amount of stuff there is to do in the evening and life admin etc. I also get up with the baby because, bluntly, my job matters less than his.

I’m alway indecisive about if it’s the right thing to be doing or not. Just hope it will pay off at some point.

We are a partnership. By both working we can achieve our live goals together more quickly etc
Assuming the goals are ones that require money, tbst only works if you can put earn outsourcing the work (which clearly the pp can do). I think if I had a career that covered the cost of childcare including 3 months of school holiday cover plus cleaning etc then I'd reconsider my choices. But it depends also on what the life goals are.
If a job and commute meant seeing the kids for an hour a day in the week for a decade of their childhood, and then spending the weekends trying to get in top of the house stuff. I'd settle for sl"surviving" on "just" half a million a year

I’d do further study and start a business that I could do flexibly around my family. I would never just not work - things can change. High earning partner can lose his job or become ill or leave.

Yes. I’m currently a SAHM because I can’t afford to work (the cost of working would exceed my wages) and I’m bored sick and depressed. I’d love to be able to afford to hire a nanny and work, even if it was only part time. I wouldn’t go back to my previous job though - I’d do something I enjoy instead.

Cannot believe that I am reading people say 'hell no. If my DP was a high earner I would give up tomorrow ' Really ? Do people still not know this stuff ??

If you decide to be a SAHM/P in a marriage then that is a lifestyle decision which could have detrimental financial implications for you should you split - but financial remedy is available because of marriage .

If you decide to be a sahp in a cohabitation relationship, you are entitled to nothing , except child support , no matter how wealthy your 'dp' may be. (and wealthy people have very clever accountants who can convert income to dividends making them look like very low earners)
It will be a very very stupid thing to do. (But then again having children to a wealthier partner without marriage is an even more stupid thing to do).

No chance. I’d volunteer, do some classes etc.

Haha Font, goady much?

@Mummadeeze
Can I ask what you do?

Yes I would because I would be bored at home and would miss the social interaction I get at work

Like an earlier poster I’m a 50% shareholder in our company so pretty safe if anything went wrong between me and DH

Of no value if the company is dependent on your DH. H can just stop working for it and it is immediately worthless. Seen this so many times in our friends divorces. Or he can pay himself a large salary and so no dividends.

Would you still work if one of your DC was having temporary but significant medical issues and needed extremely flexible childcare and someone who knew their needs really well and could cope with them?

He would take the time off as he is employed and I run a business with employees who are dependant on me.

Yes. I earn a quarter of what dh does, we could manage on his salary but I couldn't not work and have my own achievements. I would probably let a mega rich husband pay towards my own business or I would do voluntary work as a lot of wealthy house wives do.

Our household income is just under half what you’ve stated.

I don’t work, my time is better spent with my family (both the little ones and our older parents).

As a couple we have put pensions, etc in place to provide for my future.

It seems daft to disadvantage my family for me to work just for the sake of it

Yes. I’m currently a SAHM because I can’t afford to work (the cost of working would exceed my wages) and I’m bored sick and depressed.

Childcare costs are shared. At one point our childcare costs exceeded my salary but if I stopped working my career would have stopped and I had worked very hard to get where I was.

It was never suggested by my DH that I gave up work. We would have been better off in the short term but much worse off long term.

People now say- well you are so lucky. No, we made choices. I am not saying that they were right for everyone but they were right for us as a couple and our family.

My children have left home (sort of) and we are in our 50s. We have seen so many marriages fail in the past 5 years. I would say that I have friends who 5 years ago were looking forward to their DHs retiring and the cunard cruise type lifestyle and are now living in a small flat and working for the first time in 25 years. In more that one case their DHs are overseas with a new younger girlfriend or even a new family.

I financially don't have to work but I continue to do so. My husband is a very rich man from a very rich family. But I have to work for my mentality. I've tried staying home and being a 'real housewife' and I enjoyed it at the time. But now there is a two year period where I look back on and don't really remember anything from. I went shopping, went horse riding, got my hair and nails done, read books, watched box sets, went out for lunch, slept to 10am every morning etc. But that's not living life with purpose. All the days eventually blur into one with nothing really to break them up.

Now I work for the family business. I work from the smaller local office 9am-3pm three days a week, the larger London office 8-5 one day a week, and then have three days off. Those three days off ate more than enough time to fit in everything I did when at home. And I feel like I have a purpose in life. Have my own salary that I can do what I want with without having to rely on DH. It's a good life balance.

Ghanagirl I work in Scheduling for a TV Channel (ie planning what we show and when)

Well if we were married I definitely wouldn’t work. Might write a bookie start a business or something though. If we weren’t married then I would keep working and hire a nanny.

Yep, work makes me a more interesting person and the person he married. I wouldn't want him to be a sahd either. Having an intellectually challenging pursuit outside our home is important for both of us

^This

It is of course naive to assume that paid employment is the only way to gain an intellectually challenging pursuit outside of the home.

Hmm.

I would not be anybody's employee.

I would not employ anyone either (contract work out fine, or at a push a couple of 'service' type employees - I wouldn't want any normal people management issues basically).

I would fully expect a cleaner and housekeeper on that household income.

I would insist upon a separate, substantial asset that was mine entirely (a modest house, and a significant lump sum to save or invest).

Within those constraints, I'd probably happily run the house, write, and run my own creative business/animal smallholding type place. I enjoy working with my hands, taking care of stuff. People management and being managed is my least favourite part of work.

Probably. I'd be bored shitless otherwise. And I wouldn't want my dc to grow up with a "rich daddy goes to work, mummy stays at home" idea of normality.

It is of course naive to assume that paid employment is the only way to gain an intellectually challenging pursuit outside of the home.

I would say work just about breaks even on intelectually stimulating me, because it also intelectually LIMITS me to a specific area of interest, and to specific goals within that, and furthermore leaves me too strung out half the time to pursue anything outside of work. My husband and I have worked in the same (separate) companies for 8 years. We don't talk much about work.

My mum was a freelance journalist and authro growing up. She now focuses on historical research, as well as participating in NHS reviews, PCC reviews, parish council.... you name it. She hasn't worked for an employer for about 40 years, and her interests and active participation in those interests is far higher than anyone else I know.

There are some very sanctimonious responses here. I am bored shitless listening to the vast majority of people talk about work so I can’t imagine why so many women think having a job is the way to keep their husbands interested, which is what many posters have implied.

Different scenarios make sense for different families. I don’t consider myself to be “kept”; my husband and I both facilitate each other’s lifestyles in different ways, and both roles are equally important to the quality of life we want for ourselves and our child.

People who've always worked seem to think that it would be great to lounge about all day doing nothing.... it's really only great when that's a contrast to your normal working life.

I had a job which seemed excellent on paper... working from home waiting for the phone to ring and probably working at about 30% of capacity for a full wage... I did it for 5 years and then quit as I was bored shitless and didn't want my career to die and all my training and qualifications to be for nothing (although on a good wage I was not given interesting work or challenged/developed in any meaningful way).

icannotremember

Why would it have to be like that though?

Both of my parents seem to have a limitless capacity for endeavour of some kind.

Gardening, DIY, reading, researching, and yes, working. They seem to be doing it all, endlessly. (all except cleaning! their house gets cleaned when I visit...)

That's nothing to do with having an employer/being one, or being paid.