To ask if you would work (hypothetical)

[TheExtraGuineaPig]

There have been a few threads on here, plus the Bezos story that have got me wondering.

Would you work if you had a really well paid DP/DH/DW. Not as rich as Jeff Bezos (!) but in the 1%, £500k pa or similar. In my scenario you have kids at school - need care before and after plus holidays - and have had a career in the past but not one that really lends itself to part time work. Any PT work would be average pay.

I'm not sure what I would do.. would be worried about becoming unemployable in the case of disaster striking but also would find it very hard to get motivated to go out to work.

If my DH had that kind of money, I would continue my study and continue working... probably start my own business.

I could never not work though. Staying at home and caring solely a husband and children would be my worst nightmare.

I would enjoy the flexibility of choosing my own projects and hopefully picking my own hours.

Yes. Voluntary maybe, but something.

Yes I would work. After getting divorced from my exh while I was a SAHM and ending up shit creek for a while I will never again let myself be in a position where I have to financially rely on a man.

If I were wealthy in my own right (won the lottery or something) then I would give up work.

I dont need to go to work.
I choose to do infant care one day a week, because my children are grown, and I desperately miss the baby stage.
I started my own business selling the art and decor I make. We converted a room into a studio, and I now have my stuff for sale in a few locations. I make enough to cover my expenses, but only just.
While these things dont bring in huge money, they do keep me as busy as a full time 37.5 h/w job would.
So I work, but I don't, sort of

Dithering I’d love to do that (ex lawyer too). May I ask what field of law and was it the same as you practised pre DC? And how long a career gap did you have? Please PM me if you don’t mind sharing

Yes, the thought of being kept by another adult makes me shudder. I'd be resentful at being the sole earner so wouldn't do it to sineone else.

I like work, it has many benefits besides a salary.

I'd rather the children were provided for once they reached adulthood.

minipie I used to be a commercial property solicitor in Central London - I do the same now but just assist a partner of a medium sized firm in the suburbs, it is great for me as I don't have a huge amount of responsibility (technically they aren't my files) and no real targets but I earn a lot, lot less.
I didn't go back to my City job after maternity leave and started out as a locum for my current firm (I knew the partner through my previous job and approached them for work) covering maternity leave and it went from there.

No. I’d happily be a sahm if money was no object.

I am technically a housewife, as we don't have children but I have up work in November.
I also do DH's PA work (mainly doing the majority of his admin work) for which he pays me a salary.

It works for us.

I also do DH's PA work (mainly doing the majority of his admin work) for which he pays me a salary
Then yiur not a housewife, you're an ad in assistant / PA

@SleepingStandingUp I am a housewife in terms of that is my main role. My admin/PA role is secondary to that - I choose as and when I do the work

Yes, but I'd do something like start my own little business with some of DH's money, like making my own jewellery to sell at craft fairs or something.

I certainly wouldn't do a standard 9-5 job

No, I have MY career that I love and enjoy.

DH and I are both high earners and we're on a relatively even keel as to what we each bring home. But if he were to all of a sudden bring home $300k more there would be no change to our working lives in reality.

We would both work full time, the only difference is that we would probably hire someone to run the house again, collect kids/clean/walk dogs/groceries etc.

Work is about far more than money. We don't just work for money, we work for job satisfaction, professional progression.

This scenario is so far removed from my reality that I just can't imagine what I'd do.

Yes I would, and if I didn’t have the career I had now I would use my situation to retrain into something I was as equally as passionate about.

Being a homemaker/mother etc just simply isn’t enough for me, I am rather ambitious in terms of my career.

However, I would like to point out this does not make me any less passionate about also being a mother.

Yep, work makes me a more interesting person and the person he married. I wouldn't want him to be a sahd either. Having an intellectually challenging pursuit outside our home is important for both of us

I would either do more studying or retrain and would use The extra money to get a nanny for when I was at uni to look after the kids
Or I would get a big farmhouse with lots of animals to keep me busy
And possibly help out at the kids school
I do like my job a lot but not sure if I'd continue if we were loaded

Yes I would work or start my own business

All those saying you would work in this scenario (most of you)

Would you still work if it meant a nanny putting your small DC to bed most nights of the week?

Would you still work if it meant you and DH both had to spend your evenings (after a late finish at work and a commute) doing house admin and chores?

Would you still work if you were being woken in the night by small DC, so you were both getting up with them and both unable to function especially well at work?

Would you still work if that meant requiring DH to do a decent share of the domestic stuff (in particular, leave early to get home for the nanny 2/3 times per week) - and in turn this meant his career progression stalled and therefore your family as a whole had much less money? (Because the amount of earnings he missed out on far outweighed your earnings net of childcare?)

Would you still work if one of your DC was having temporary but significant medical issues and needed extremely flexible childcare and someone who knew their needs really well and could cope with them?

Just wondering. As these are the reasons I stopped working, despite never thinking I would.

@minipie yes. I currently work full time. Went back full time after DS and will after DC2. The don't care how much DH earns, or what job he does, but I was explicit before having a family that my career was equally important (despite being lower paid due to the industry) and we would both have to make sacrifices to ensure we had an adequate work/life balance.

We could (before buying our current house) afford for me not to have returned to work. But I didn't want to be a housekeeper/ nanny/ SAHM.

I'd almost never give up work, regardless of the cost. Of the things you list, the only one that doesn't apply to us is a nanny putting the kids to bed, but only because we can't afford one.

Why wouldn't you?

My Dh earned about that last year (included share options). I also earned a hefty chunk myself.

I have a career in my own right. Couldn't imagine being a housewife.

We are a partnership. By both working we can achieve our live goals together more quickly etc

Hell no!! Haha! I'd be one of those women who makes chutney and does yoga during the day!!

I'd find plenty to get involved in, volunteering etc, but I wouldn't actually seek paid employment. I'd like to always be able to be there for my kids after school, holidays etc.

I work full time because I have to (well maybe I could go part time, but living standards would have to fall dramatically). I enjoy my job, but wouldn't work if I didn't have to. Not until the kids were fully grown anyway.

Would you still work if one of your DC was having temporary but significant medical issues and needed extremely flexible childcare and someone who knew their needs really well and could cope with them?

This is the only reason I would take a temporary leave of absence from work. But then so would DH.

All your other questions seem like moot points though. If my DH earned half a mil a year, and I'm still working as well, neither of us are going to be worrying about doing household chores when we get home because that would be outsourced.

The only consideration I currently have is if I'm at home to put my kids to bed and read stories, if I'm the one doing homework with them and I do that 98% of the time (or DH does). I will then continue to work from home after they've gone to bed, or I get to the office early in the morning whilst DH does drop off.

I don’t need to work but I do a day or 2 a week freelance because I enjoy it.
Like an earlier poster I’m a 50% shareholder in our company so pretty safe if anything went wrong between me and DH

I also have a couple of voluntary positions