To ask if you would work (hypothetical)

[TheExtraGuineaPig]

There have been a few threads on here, plus the Bezos story that have got me wondering.

Would you work if you had a really well paid DP/DH/DW. Not as rich as Jeff Bezos (!) but in the 1%, £500k pa or similar. In my scenario you have kids at school - need care before and after plus holidays - and have had a career in the past but not one that really lends itself to part time work. Any PT work would be average pay.

I'm not sure what I would do.. would be worried about becoming unemployable in the case of disaster striking but also would find it very hard to get motivated to go out to work.

I'd get to do a PhD (my life ambition but probably not clever enough to get a funded one)

After that I'd set up an NGO - career coaching for women from disadvantaged backgrounds.

DH says he'd work pt if we won the euromillions because he'd bored and likes his collegues/job

No way I would work if my Partner earned that much!

Nope

I actually work with a few people who are in that position, they have amazing lifestyles which they play down at work. They do the odd bit of temporary work to maintain career (they have to work a certain number of hours to keep the profession). I would also as you never know what is round the corner and to be able to pick up a career again is a bit of a lifesaver.

No. I would volunteer. There is plenty of work to do in the community without pay. Even in good private schools, they can expect parents to go in all the time. I would spend more time with my children. Plus have a social life. No matter how rich I could be. I prioritise raising my children myself.

Yes. Work is about more than money.

No I wouldn't but I am pregnant, with health problems and 2 older DCs.
I would have a year off (possible 2) and then return to work/study then

I have a well paid DP (although not £500k- we’re probably top 5-10%)

When we have kids I will drop down to 2 days per week- when they go to school I will work reduced FT hours to be able to pick up/drop off!

Yes it’ll have negative consequences to my career and salary but to me it’s a choice between this and not having children! I’ve worked with so many ‘professional’ women who are spread so thin they haven’t slept in weeks and hate their lives!

I’m not doing that!

I also WANT to be the one to care for my children- I feel a burning desire to do this and that does not make be ‘less than’ women who work FT!

God yes! Imagine being able to work, study and entrepreneur anything you like without having to worry about keeping the wolves from your door!

Yes, i don’t believe in relying on someone else financially. If I was a billionaire I wouldn’t marry a bloke who thought he could sit at home all day on my £. Works both ways

If I was married, and "primary" carer for children, then yes, I probably would give up paid work until they were young teenagers. But I would want my husband to pay into a private pension for me, and to have full access to the "family finances".

When the kids were at school, I'd probably like to do a bit of agency work to keep my nursing registration. I'd also love to do a law degree part time if time and money were no issue.

I'd do my phd (whilst ensuring I had full access to the money & great private pension). I'd also have cleaners & certainly wouldn't be doing the drudge work!

Yes I would, 100%. I work full time and then some (60 or more hours a week) and I drop off and collect my children from wraparound care every day, DH is out of the house 6 til 6 so I have to work around breakfast club and after school club hours. There is absolutely no chance I would be dependent on a man for money ever!!! I d want a cleaner and to send the ironing out if we had a big income though!!

I would. It took six years of university training for me to be able to do my job...and many more postgraduate years too! I could never give it up just because I didn't need the money.

I would, however, go part time!

I'm currently home while my OH works. We can manage, he earns quite well. Though it's swallowed up with the mortgage, the flat is tiny but this area is bastarding expensive. I'm permanently disabled but am applying for work because it's boring and we could do with the cash so we could be comfortable.

I'd work until we could both retire.

I've worked with many men over the years and have seen first hand the contempt they have for their non-working wives.

No. I do felt i needed to do something I would volunteer for a charity or something.

I would like to think that I would want to. My main difficulty with working is work life balance. I've struggled to find a job that I enjoy that gives me a good balance. Ideally I'd like to work 3 days a week in a post that I enjoy. If I had a high earning partner then we could afford the childcare, a cleaner and a gardner which would free up our time. I also wouldn't be having to spend so much of my time meal planning, trekking off to Aldi (and could order online for delivery) and shopping around for deals on everything (washing machine, kids clothes in sales, fridge, Christmas presents, children's party presents etc). So as it stands because we cannot afford those things I would much rather spend my time with my children than live a life where I am trying to work and do all of those things. We have done it before and it just doesn't work for us. We were miserable. I'm only on mat leave though - but I won't be going back to my current role because of increased childcare costs - I'll be doing something else instead.

Am I a bad person? I gave up work when we could afford it.

I have a lovely time at home with the kids, and I don’t pine for my career. I’m not stupid, there is a financial cushion if we split. I wouldn’t live the high life but I’d have a roof and earning potential to stay afloat (career which once experienced and qualified it’s easy to get work through agency cover).

I really enjoy life, I don’t stress about what I should be doing. I enjoy the kids, I can read. I’m not a slave to cleaning, the house is a bit cluttered and not going to be worth instagramming but it’s hygienic and happy

So as not to drop feed- I have one disabled dc. This made working hugely stressful, I’m happy to give her time though and I’m not resentful.

Goodness yes. I will work til the day I die.

DH has his own business and earns in a day what I earn in a month teaching. I still work because I love my job and don't want to financially rely on anyone else. Admittedly our nice holidays and cars come from his salary, but were he to waltz out the door with a 19 year old tomorrow I wouldn't go under and the DC wouldn't go without. It might be unromantic to think that way but my Dad always made it very clear that financial dependence brings about all kinds of possible issues.

Yes.

I work PT and DS is at school. This week I'm using up AL and I'm struggling to occupy myself.

DH high earner.
I had a 5 year break when the DC were little but went back part time, now work 2 or 3 days a week. DC are older teens, DH is away a lot and I enjoy the challenges of work but still have time for all my hobbies.
I'm not worried about money, we've been married a long time and most of our savings are in my name anyway.
Works for us.

I worked in the same demanding professional job when DH was earning £300000 pa, and I’m still working in it now that he’s quit to set up on his own and is earning virtually nothing. His income is irrelevant to my professional choices, or commitment to my career, as is whether his job involves long hours and travel — it did.

I have never conceived of it as my job to service his career, or to be the one juggling drop-offs and after school care because I was the lower earner. That so many women see this as ‘natural’ is hugely damaging.

Yes I would. Not as much as I do now, maybe only 2 or 3 days a week but I am proud of my career and am good at it and it wouldn’t become any less important to me because I was married to someone who earned loads.

I get that for some couples it might work where the partner does long non family friendly hours but so does mine (without the pay packet sadly) and I’ve still managed to hold down a good job around childcare and single parents manage to work and do everything too so that wouldn’t be a reason for me not to work.

Winning the lotto so we could both quit would be different though!