AIBU to be angry that this is still happening!

[CosmicCanary]

Bristol News

I know this is not the only girl this has happened to. I know there will be many many girls who have suffered the same humiliation in school just today.

I was one of them many years ago.
So many times i bled through my pad in lesson but I knew asking to go to the toilet in would be met with a NO so i didn't bother. It was a humiliation in its self for the whole class to know you needed the loo. Such a public audience for an other wise private act.

I have already told my DDs should they need the toilet they must ask but if refused walk out of lesson if they absolutely cannot wait and I will deal with school.
They will not suffer the humiliation and shame of leaving blood on a school chair as I did.

u didn't call them twisted though? You did me despite me stating several times no child has ever had an accident in my classroom.

I did because you admitting to telling a child you know us in genuine need for the toilet no.
Don't you think it is twisted to have such power of the toileting needs of another person just because you can?

I doubt if a child did have an accident they would tell you. You dont seem like a caring kind of teacher.

I'm sorry if you find me patronising but I've got to say that I find the whole situation totally absurd. Even your response to me here is so aggressive that I feel taken aback that you're genuinely getting apoplectically angry so easily.

I dont find you patronising. Your post was patronising.
I am not one of your pupils you do not get to tell me what to do.

I am angrh that some teachers refuse the rights and basic needs of their pupils simply because some children misbehave.
I am angry that girls are still bleeding through their clothes 28 years after it happened to me because of some draconian rule that is meant to curb bad behaviour.

Should I not be angry about those things?

I have not told you what to do. I have asked you a series of questions. You are twisting things.

If you feel angry about something in society (which is of course all of our right), the sensible and righteous thing is to do something within our power about it. I fail to see what arguing the same point on the internet for 6 days with strangers does. While you are of course free to do so, I am also free to question why anyone would want to spend free time that could be spent on family, hobbies, work or legitimate social justice work in this way. Unless they enjoy being angry and arguing. Which plenty of people do.

I have not told you what to do. I have asked you a series of questions

All of which implied that my thread the amount if pages it is and the fact it has been going nearly a week are somehow wrong in your view.

There are threads on MN that are part 2 3 4... do you go on there and say "enough now you have posted too much and too long" or again have you decided its only me that should not post on a thread I created?

I am also free to question why anyone would want to spend free time that could be spent on family, hobbies, work or legitimate social justice work in this way.

You honestly think you have the right to question my time on MN?
Wow you really do see yourself as a VIP dont you!
Its nine of your business how long ir how much anyone posts on mn.
There is a thread in relationships thats 29 pages long and been going since December why dont you pop over there and question the OP

Well yes. It does seem mad to me to argue about something for 6 days. I am commenting here because I was involved near the beginning and nothing has changed in the intervening days.

Who's telling who what to do now? :P

It's only my business in the sense that I have partaken in the thread.

Serious question here. If you do not want to answer, fine. You say that you are angry that nothing has changed since you bled through your clothes 28 years ago (or indeed since I bled through mine 15 years ago). But tell me, what have you done to change things?

I will tell you what I have done. I have made pupils aware that I have sanitary products available, that I do not ask questions, I have signposted them to period poverty charities, I have supported financially, materially and practically those charities, I have spoken to guidance teachers about pupils who do not know how to cope with periods, I have explained menstruation to pupils. I hope to have done my part to increase pupils awareness of and ability to manage their own bodies functions.

All of this is irrelevant, especially as I am a stranger on the internet who could be lying about all of this. But I simply want to point out that there are many practical things to be done and it might soothe you to help young people so that they don't have experiences which you did and which still upset you.

In essence, why are you angry that others have not done what you have not done?

None of what you have done changes the fact that the 11 yo in the OP bled through her clothes twice because she was refused access to the toilet in school.

Your virtue signalling changed nothing for her and it wont changing anything for your students if they are denied access to a toilet when they need it.

But I simply want to point out that there are many practical things to be done and it might soothe you to help young people so that they don't have experiences which you did and which still upset you.

Ha ha ha you really are up your own arse!!
I had that experience because a teacher denied me access to a toilet. Many more girls will sadly share my experience if schools continue to deny them access to a toilet. All your period talking and providing of sanitary wear will not stop girls bleeding through their clothes now will it if the reason they are is because of a toilet ban.

In essence, why are you angry that others have not done what you have not done?

Eh?
I did not decide on the toilet ban at the Bristol school or in my school. So how could I have stopped or changed that exactly?

No, it does not, given that I have been to Bristol only once and am therefore unlikely to be the teacher in question.

No virtue-signalling. Just doing a job I love and care deeply about. But which involves difficult management decisions that can be imperfect.

You continue to swear at me and insult me. You told another poster that she seemed like an uncaring teacher. Well hopefully the internet distorts us because you seem like an angry person who lacks any self awareness, is unable to control their emotions, hands out insults they themselves could not take and takes no practical action.

Okay, so you are unwilling to do anything but complain? No parent council, no letter to the HT, not even a petition. Understood.

Have a lovely evening. I have an early start tomorrow so I won't be able to continue this argument you seem to be loving so much.

Okay, so you are unwilling to do anything but complain? No parent council, no letter to the HT, not even a petition. Understood.

You have no idea what I do. Just because I dont crow about it like you.

angry person who lacks any self awareness, is unable to control their emotions, hands out insults they themselves could not take and takes no practical action.

Of course I am angry it says so in the title.
Yes I find this a very emotive subject that girls are disadvantaged and humiluated because if their periods. I will not apoligise for it.
I have had my fair share of insults thrown at me so i give as good as i get.

Now I am sure you have many more threads to police so i wont keep you.

I have explained why a number of times.

Your attitude that its tough if a child needs the toilet while in your lesson. Plus your admission that knowing a child genuinely needs the toilet but still refusing to let them go.
I dislike anyone that would treat a child in this way just because they have the power to.
Having such disregard for children's health and wellbeing is wrong.
You and your buddy were equally rude to me so please do not pretend you are oh so innocent.

Op you act like leaking a bit of blood is the worst injustice in the world. It's not a big deal, it happens to lots of women and girls all the time.

You're also horrified that it's been suggested someone with very heavy unmanageable periods tell the school so they can be excused from lessons. Again that's not a big deal. I think you need to think about why you carry so much shame and embarrassment around periods.

The fact is in a lot of schools kids can't be given free access to toilets. It has been explained why. Yes it would be better if they changed toilet layouts or put up cctv, or had people monitoring the toilets or dealt with unruly pupils. But the fact is the schools are under funded and lacking support and resources. So they do what they can to avoid problems.

We as parents need to work with schools not against them and parents encouraging their children to go against school rules is part of the problem. If you don't like the rules change school because by telling your child they're exempt from one rule teaches them rules don't matter and are there to he broken if they don't suit you.

Yes leaking blood happens however if it happens or is made worse due to the fact the girl was refused access to a bathroom then thats wrong. Are children not allowed any dignity in your view?

My children are bright and understand rules that need to be adhered to however a rule that stops them from accessing a toilet when they need to is one that should not exist and can be broken. You parent your children your way and I will see to mine.

If that's how you get your kicks Jac so be it.

Shock horror I refused a boy and a girl this morning and neither of them wet themselves despite waiting for nearly 2 hours

It's not only about soiling, it's uti's (which apropos of nothing then needs the sufferer to drink even more than normal and use a toilet much more frequently) and bladder control, in the case of solids it could lead to impacted stools and chronic constipation. And back to the original point, you can't hold period blood in. These are young girls and it's not right to make them wait.

Ristricted acsess to toilets is a rule that should not exsist - in your opinion. Other parents have the opinion that uniform rules should not exsist, or compulsory pe. The list goes on.

The fact is schools have rules. If you don't like them change schools. We constantly see stories in the news with parents like you who think their kids are above rules or think rules are optional. It's this attitude that is driving teachers out and increasing bad behavior in schools.

We don't actually know why the girl in the news article was denied acsess to the toilet or whether that was the reason she leaked - so I won't comment on that or whether her dignity was taken away. (slightly melodramatic)

As with most things a common sense approach from all sides is needed. Kids should manage their toileting in brakes, parents need to teach children how and give them the resources, and teachers need to use their judgment when a child asks to use the toilet during lesson time. A blanket ban is extream as it locking the toilets, but free acsess is also asking for trouble.

@jacomax Didn't you say that your children are year 5 aged 9? So you probably don't have any girls in puberty? You probably haven't had to deal with this precise problem because you are teaching younger children.

I would expect that girls unexpectedly finding that they have a period would normally be treated sympathetically....

Would just like to say, I am not GrammarTeacher, I am simply Grammar, and have not posted on this thread.
I was contacted my MNHQ to say I had been mentioned on this thread, they cannot intervene, it appears but have invited me to post myself.
I would not want to be associated with anything either positively or controversially within which I have had no part.

Best of luck with the rest of the thread to everyone.