AIBU to be angry that this is still happening!

[CosmicCanary]

Bristol News

I know this is not the only girl this has happened to. I know there will be many many girls who have suffered the same humiliation in school just today.

I was one of them many years ago.
So many times i bled through my pad in lesson but I knew asking to go to the toilet in would be met with a NO so i didn't bother. It was a humiliation in its self for the whole class to know you needed the loo. Such a public audience for an other wise private act.

I have already told my DDs should they need the toilet they must ask but if refused walk out of lesson if they absolutely cannot wait and I will deal with school.
They will not suffer the humiliation and shame of leaving blood on a school chair as I did.

Even if you could compare being stuck in a car with no toilet near by to having one just down the hall but not allowed to go, leaking blood through your clothes isn't as much of a big deal in the car with your family as it is in a classroom full of other teenagers.

Saying that will not change the fact that they now need the toilet.

You said you can tell if they are genuine but you still say no. That means you are willingly and knowingly forcing a child to hold urine just because you can.

The NUT have stated in their guidelines this has negative health implications for children yet you dont care.
I wish I knew which school you worked at as I would be reporting you immediately.

Do you not have service stations or rest stops in London?
We do, on motorways. Drive on motorways to my son's house - between home and his there is one services, 60 miles into the journey.

So anyone wanting to go might have to wait, you know, like until the end of a lesson or do u have services every 5 minutes where you live?

Yes of course you do.

And sorry, but I do. I work 5 hours and get a 15 minute break (not at a set time either, might be after 1 hour might be after 3 hours). If I want to go to the toilet outside of this break (which is not encouraged) I have to ask permission and explain why I didn't go on break or why I can't wait.

between home and his there is one services, 60 miles into the journey.
So anyone wanting to go might have to wait, you know, like until the end of a lesson or do u have services every 5 minutes where you live?

I have done many journeys with my young children which sometimes resulted in pulling off the motorway to either find a toilet or pee in a bush. Whats your point?

And this has to do with a school how?
Schools have toilets. They are not the motorway. Children are not adults. Their bladder control can be and usually is not as good as adults.

@jacomax

I think you are right.

I don't envy you being a teacher. You can't do right for doing wrong.

Cosmic seems to think no one is capable of waiting for the toilet.

Sigh now you are just being pathetic.

Not wanting children to be stripped of their dignity and privacy because teachers like you are lazy and twisted means I think nobody is capabe of holding it?

You two have done nothing to change anyones mind. In fact I think you have both helped to prove why a blanket ban on toilet access is wrong in many ways.

@CosmicCanary

Really? Do leave off. We aren't talking about toddlers, just potty trained. Most children at junior and secondary school can wait for the toilet, unless they have a medical problem in which case they have a toilet pass.

The point of the car journey is that it seems you think it reasonable to ask a child to wait until you can find a place to stop, yet at school they have to be allowed to go immediately.

I'm sure occasionally someone gets caught out but I don't imagine it is often. I would think the vast majority of requests are to muck about, because they didn't bother going at break or some other such reason.

@CosmicCanary
And I think that you are incapable of imagining any situation that you have no direct experience of.

No child messes around at school, no child lies, vandalises, beats up another child, bunks off in the toilet, no adults ever have to wait for the toilet at work - because you haven't witnessed it it never happens.

It doesn't matter whether someone thinks no one is capable of waiting for the toilet. If no-one was capable, you know that you wouldn't get away with this.

Just because some people are well organised and can remember to go at break and have good bladder control doesn't mean that everyone does.

You are being cruel to the children who are not good at organising and don't have such good control.

I would seriously sort out your own employment conditions before you suffer from UTIs yourself.

I have had jobs that meant I couldn't leave my position for long periods- but I know that I suffered afterwards, and I wouldn't recommend it as normal employment practice.

The reason they are holding it is because they have failed to go before class.

FFS. They might not have needed to go before class!

I envy some of the women posting on this thread. They clearly had regular, predictable, controllable periods from day one of starting, but that certainly isn't every teen girl's experience.

I bled so heavily that I would quite often need to 'attend to things' again mid-lesson despite having changed my pad during break. So heavily, in fact, that I ended up severely anaemic within a year of starting because I was too embarrassed to even tell my mum how heavy my periods were until things had got quite drastic. Presumably that's the sort of medical issue @Acerbics alludes to, but how many girls are brave enough to raise this with a teacher at that age?

Most children at junior and secondary school can wait for the toilet, unless they have a medical problem in which case they have a toilet pass.

Why should they have to? The schools have toilets. Everyone gets caught short even adults.
To know a child genuinely wants the toilet and to still refuse them is ok in your view?

The point of the car journey is that it seems you think it reasonable to ask a child to wait until you can find a place to stop, yet at school they have to be allowed to go immediately.

Yes because toilets are not immediately available on a motorways so wait until we find one or we pull off the road and use a bush if they are that desperate.

If there was a toilet available to use would you expect me to say no?

And I think that you are incapable of imagining any situation that you have no direct experience of.

No child messes around at school, no child lies, vandalises, beats up another child, bunks off in the toilet, no adults ever have to wait for the toilet at work - because you haven't witnessed it it never happens.

I have worked in schools and I have 4dc. I have first hand experience of badly behaved children.

I have done various jobs where i have had to ask to use the toilet and had to wait a few minutes before I can go. I was a croupier for example so just walking off to the loo was not an option.
At no point did i need to tell them i was on my period. I just said I needed the bathroom and i was given a quick break. Nor was i ever refused.

Passes single kids out. Speaking from experience it makes them targets for bullying. It is not ok. And the schools problems dealing with disruptive children should not be taken out on all of them.

Why should they have to?
Because sometimes we just have to wait. If it's a dire emergency then they will have to go but they do need to learn to be better organised.

I am certain that the number with a genuine need is very small.

At no point did i need to tell them i was on my period. I just said I needed the bathroom and i was given a quick break. Nor was i ever refused.

And that's relevant to me how? I don't work where you do and they have a different attitude.

There are reasons we say no. It can be disruptive

So children risk health issues and humiliation because you cannot control your students.
As I keep saying your own NUT does not recommend banning children from the toilet. In facts it goes to great lengths to describe why it is not effective and is problematic.

Would you like me to post them as I think you need re-education on your own union guidelines.

And that's relevant to me how? I don't work where you do and they have a different attitude.

Oh but you sited your working life as relevant to school children on this thread many times.
Is it only allowed if you do it?

Ha ha ha you just get worse.