Do your teenager's bedrooms look like this?

[thingersandfumbs]

Just that really. My teenage DD lives in an utter shit pit.

So, aibu to care? For context, DP encountered our dog with a used sanitary towel in his mouth a few weeks ago, from DD's shit tip.

I'm no clean and tidy queen, I promise you that, but to me this is unacceptable. Aibu?

Loving the photo of the beautiful big bedroom someone helpfully put on further back in the thread captioned My teen's room now

I notice they didn’t get told off for invading their dc’s privacy... saying that it looked like every middle aged woman’s bedroom so my sympathy is reserved for the girl tbh

My son’s would be like this if I let him (minus the san pro ) but I can’t help myself, I regularly remove rubbish from his room (mainly cos I can’t cope with dp moaning about it 😂)

My bedroom was a mess as a kid and teenager (but never unsanitary) as I had not been taught to tidy up properly and felt overwhelmed by stuff.
This is something I'm still working on as an adult. I love a clean and tidy house but struggle to maintain it as I didn't "learn" when I was young so having to unlearn bad habits and learn good ones which is harder than just being in good ones.

I realised that I needed to teach my children differently- instead of assuming they know how to tidy up and keep a space clean. It is my responsibility to make sure that they learn to put jigsaws back in boxes, hair clips back, learn to fold clothes etc. Eventually that will turn into me helping them with teenage bedrooms. And hopefully that will turn into positive habits for them.

I think you are wrong to assume that your DD actually knows how to keep a clean and tidy space and need to support her. It shouldn't take more than 10 mins a day.
I mean, one day you could deal with rubbish, the next clothes on the floor, etc. Until eventually its just putting a couple of things away, hoovering and dusting to "maintain" the space.

Your DD May claim she's happy as she is, but very few people genuinely feel happy in a messy space in which they can't find things.

My room looked like that.

I'm now very clean and tidy generally.

It's a stage. She'll learn and get it in the end.

Op, @Bumblebee39 has nailed it! From a child's view and as a parent. I really hope next week we see a Kim & Aggie special on here. We all want that for you and your daughter. Good luck op.
x

Am now teaching DS to cook he is off to uni. this year. I cannot assume that he will launch into shopping cooking on his own. So we will journey together. He has cooked a couple of interesting meals. The chicken with crushed doritos is delicious. The tuna pasta, not so much.

OP if you think your DD is swamped it would be better for you to work with her. My DS has been clearing and hoovering his room for a couple of years now. I do dust and clean the window occasionally. Having to train him not to leave wet towels on the floor though.

Looks pretty typical to me. But the rubbish is gross, that would be my red line. Rubbish has to go in the bin which has to be emptied when full. Dishes need to come out too.

My daughters bedroom looked like this I used to clean it myself or nag till she at last cleaned it occasionally, then I gave up closed the door on it all. There is hope op as she now flat shares and is super tidy!! never thought it would ever happen!

Thank you all. I have a plan of attack.

Let us see some after pictures and good luck.

Yes we need to see pics of a sparkling room

That’s absolutely revolting!

My DD went through a very messy stage at 13–15 yrs. I banned her friends from coming round unless her room was tidy and when that didn’t work I started going in once a week with a bin bag and if it was on the floor it went in the bin. She soon learnt to keep it tidy.

Now she’s 17 and her room is immaculate, cleaner than I actually expect it to be. At 18 there is no excuse, time to get tough!