Do your teenager's bedrooms look like this?

[thingersandfumbs]

Just that really. My teenage DD lives in an utter shit pit.

So, aibu to care? For context, DP encountered our dog with a used sanitary towel in his mouth a few weeks ago, from DD's shit tip.

I'm no clean and tidy queen, I promise you that, but to me this is unacceptable. Aibu?

That is gross. Clothes and stuff everywhere is pretty normal ime. But rubbish strewn around, and used sanitery towels Horrible

That's disgusting.

For God's sake get this taken down @MNHQ

It's really gross. Especially if the dog is getting used sanitary towels!

Iv seen rooms like that before and worse.
I was the laziest teen ever .i grew up though ,and like my house to be tidy.
So I would say typical room for some teenagers.
But.i think you are being unreasonable posting pictures of what should be a private space.
I'm guessing the teen doesn't know that you have done this .
God help you if she ever finds out .
In fact I would probably ask for this thread to be deleted as it's a huge invasion into someone else's privacy.
And highly identifying if any of her friends spot this .

My room looked like this in my teen years. Possibly not at home but definitely in my first year at uni. I’m now a 30 year old neat freak who hoovers behind the sofa, cleans my toilet weekly and spent an unholy amount on fluffy white towels last year which I am religious about washing so they stay super fresh and white.

YABU to post pictures of her room online (although I have sympathy as that would drive me mad too now!) However, have faith. After being that level of messy I now own a hoover that is more expensive than my phone, meaning my priorities are clearly in line

No that is just laziness. I don’t clean my sons rooms and haven’t for a good few years and they are more than capable of keeping their spaces clean and reasonably tidy.

Stuff the mess... the hair straighteners on the pile of papers?! Is she trying to burn the house down? That would be my biggest concern!

I have 3 rules

1. You bring plates and cutlery down - cups I don’t care about as much, forks I need!
2. School uniform cost me so much money it does not go on floor and it gets washed and taken care of
3. You empty the bin

The rest I let go. If they choose not to change bedsheets for 6 weeks or collect a PJ mountain then I don’t interfere too much

I don’t like it being that messy I don’t see how it helps them finding things for school

I think that yanbu. I think everyone in a household has responsibility to keep the house tidy including bedrooms. My friend maintains she let my her daughter keep her room in a mess as it was part of being a teen etc. However now her daughter is in her 20s and fairly slobby in her own home, my friend moans she can't imagine where she has developed that habit! It really can't be enjoyable to spend time in that mess for her surely?

Thanks for posting, OP, makes my midden of a house look like Mrs Hinch has been round!

I think that's pretty grim, tbh. I was really untidy as a teen but that's bad, even by my slack standards. And leaving used towels out is beyond gross.

Normal for some teenagers to need help organising their stuff... My mum tidied my room when I was young and I suppose I learned basic techniques from her.
My advice? Help her sort it all out, give her loads of storage space and throw out all the unnecessary shit. Then remind her to clean her room once a week, and impose warnings of concrete punishment if she lets it get bad again.

Normal teenage mess except for used sanirory towels.
We banned food and drink from bedrooms when our girls were teenagers

To be honest clothes on the floor wouldn’t bother me - there hers, and if they end up dirty and crumpled when she wants to wear them then that can be her problem to deal with.
The stuff that is actually dirty or rubbish (used glasses, bottles, food wrappers and sanitary towels(!)) I’d want tidied. Especially the sanitary towels, if you’re saying a used pad was thrown on the floor then that’s gross.

Perfectly normal.
Wait until you visit her in a university hall of residence......

Not too far off mine. But they’re not allowed food and drinks in their rooms after we had mice.

@MrDarcyWillBeMine pretty low to comment on the size of her bedroom. Would you expect the mum to move so her daughter has a bigger bedroom?!

IME it's normal. Mine looked like it, my friend's rooms looked like it and the 7 teens whose rooms I've seen recently look like it.
The sanitary towel thing is not normal though. Utterly gross. I would flip over that but the mess is her own. Just shut the door.

Oh my god, no. A few clothes chucked around, yes, but used sanpro and food waste is beyond gross and inexcusable

Omg I'm totally shocked and I've just showed dp who's older kids live with his ex wife
We wouldn't have dared my mum would never have allowed food and drink upstairs and never have tolerated that!

My partner agrees and says his older kids know better and that their mum wouldn't be having g any of that either!

There's no need for that at all - and if they think it's acceptable what is their own home going to be like when they move out and potentially have families of their own???

I'm sorry op I think you need to nip it in the bud now - you're the mother, take control (along with gloves and bin bags!)

Just bin the whole lot - I would!

One of my DDs was the same. She's all grown up now and her flat is pristine.

When my son was a teen he was car mad.
His room used to look like a car parts shop had mated with a scrapyard which then had a pile up with a takeaway.
Strangely, when he married he became a clean freak

OP, you really need to talk to your daughter about disposing her sanitary wear appropriately.

Yeah that's pretty standard.

Turn the WiFi off and tell her to get cracking. I'd probably offer to help though she won't know where to start. Give her a bag and tell her rubbish first and maybe a charity bag to gut the clothes. She obviously doesn't need so many if they're on the floor.

I'm not going to slate a teenager for a shit tip of a bedroom when there are people with houses that look like that with little kids running about.

A used sanitary towel in the dogs mouth ? Was that from the bedroom too ?
If so she is disgusting for that alone .

Definitely not normal here.

We (dd age 16y) sometimes (often!) have a bit of a chair-robe going on with worn clothes (but not wash dirty) left on an arm chair in her room.
There are sometimes bits of paper, or sweet wrappers, the odd drinks can, etc left on the side - but normally removed later that day.

But bed is made (roughly) and curtains are opened. Window is opened for a bit to let some fresh air in whilst she gets dressed in a morning. At least a couple of times a week the chair is cleared and clothes are put away in the appropriate places. Every day, most of the time, rubbish etc is cleared.

DD does know we wouldn't stand for that level of mess. A little more messy than I would want ideally we understand, and during exam times we'd be a little more lax perhaps - but no where near that standard!!! She, fortunately, isn't overly messy.

I couldn't live with that mess in my home!