Do your teenager's bedrooms look like this?

[thingersandfumbs]

Just that really. My teenage DD lives in an utter shit pit.

So, aibu to care? For context, DP encountered our dog with a used sanitary towel in his mouth a few weeks ago, from DD's shit tip.

I'm no clean and tidy queen, I promise you that, but to me this is unacceptable. Aibu?

Ds's isn't very big either 10X9 but we've made the best of the space.
I would be embarrassed to bring anyone in that room.

I'm sorry if anyone thinks I've done the wrong thing. I'm at my wits end and I wanted to gauge opinions on what's normal. I deliberately kept it fairly anonymous and unsurprisingly few of her friends have seen her room.

That's disgusting, but you are partly responsible for allowing it. It's not abnormal for teens to try to live like pigs, but it's up to parents to

I would give her the choice to clean or pay for the cleaner to deal with it. With a week warning, so she has time to deal with that tip of a room, or she will be responsible for the £25 an hour or more it will cost to bring it back to a civilised state.

There's a huge difference between mess and dirt. I would not tolerate that in my own home!

I’m sorry but there is no way that I would let my teenage boys live like this
This screams to me no respect for your home

@MrDarcyWillBeMine

I'm sorry but how small is her room??

Do you enjoy being so rude?!

OP, I'd be frustrated too! But I was a messy teen, and now I'm very minimal and super clean - I grew out of it by the time I was 17/18. Good luck!

Ashamed to admit it but that was my bedroom at that age. Believe it or not I am now a fully functioning adult. My house is also pretty tidy. My mum used to despair too. Sorry mum...

No it’s not. I tidy weekly but if dd is told to tidy so I can clean if it’s got bad she has a few hours to do it or WiFi is gone.

I would go BONKERS. I can't stand mess. My house is by no means immaculate but it's just lazy not clearing up after yourself.

Baxdream it's not immaculate. I have dcs, step dcs, a partner running a business from my house, I work full time and am studying for a degree. So it's very lived in. But I'm not ashamed of anyone turning up unexpectedly. And it's clean. There are no pizza boxes, dirty dishes or used towels anywhere else in my house.

That's not normal and I am still fairly lax housework wise. I'd be concerned about her mental health that she's ok living in that

Absolutely revolting
I am dumb struck that it’s got in to that state

It would if I let her get away with it!

However when she says, hey can I go do x,y, z with my friends I say sure! ... once your room is clean and tidy.

I've a 15 year old and a 12 year old, the 15 year old has the potential to create a room that looks like that but it would never get that far. Just threatening to turn the WiFi off is enough to get him tidying. I don't think that's normal, no, I couldn't have that in my home and I am not ridiculously house proud or anything.

Ds14 bedroom gets like this and once a month he has a blitz. Always when I’m doing a happy dance because the laundry basket is empty- he then fills it, and adds another pile along side it🤦‍♀️

I had friends at uni whose whole house looked like this, they left plates of food everywhere covered in mould and didn't clear up til they ran out of plates ... then the cycle continued
Needless to say they got rats!

That’s pretty rank tbh. I don’t let my teens take food and drink into bedrooms for fear of this happening. Maybe if you and her have a big tidy up, she’ll feel better about keeping it tidy - I bet it feels like an insurmountable task at the moment.

That’s just rotten, disgusting laziness! I have 2 teen DDs. They tidy their rooms every Sunday. It’s a house rule. No need for that at all!

I did a double-take then as that bedside cabinet looks just like DS1's! It's disgusting isn't it? I have so many rows with him about. He'll eventually clean it, then it's a mess again a day later. I can't bear to go in there so I don't anymore.

To all of you who admitted that your teenage rooms looked like that, but now your own house is clean and tidy...
So if it's someone else's house that they pay the mortgage on,, it's OK to treat the place with no respect? But you look after your own place?

My own bedroom even now at 30 has a floordrobe. It's my "safe space" where I can have my mess and not have to worry about other people seeing it.

But the mouldy food and used sanitary towels are a step too far!

With the exception of the food and drink (and dirty sanitary towels) I'd shut the door and let her get on with it.

If she wants her stuff all over the floor that's her business but I would not accept her having a room full of old food getting manky and attracting vermin. She wouldn't be allowed food or drink in there.

That's revolting OP, and I was regarded as being a slob!

No. 15 year old DD does not have a space like that. I do tidy her room a bit but she does a lot herself. She has s big bin and, if nothing else, puts everything in there. I also bought her a cheap Hoover last year which she uses now and then. She does no chores or housework, which I'm fine with, but she doesn't live like that!

My daughter's room currently

My dds room would be like this if I didn't bother (she's 13) I can't bare it. I make her tidy the best I can every week then on a weekend when she is with her dad I just go in and gut it! I tell he before she goes I'm going to do it and anything lying around on the floor will be binned! She doesn't give a shit tho I've binned make up and everything to prove a point but she's not bothered!
What has stated working is I go in and pick every single bit up off the floor, under the bed inside the bed, all the unhung clothes off the wardrobe floor. I then dump it all on top of her bed and make her do it before she can have her phone etc on fri after school.
If I didn't do that o dread to think how it would look! Prob like your dd's op! She also shared with dsd who is 12 but she is actually really tidy, I feel sorry for her sharing with my dd! If they could have their own room they would but we can't afford the step up to a 4 bedroom house (have a younger dd age 3)