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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Phone bugged

404 replies

Beingspiedon · 13/01/2019 07:43

(Posting for traffic) I would really appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me as I don’t even know where to start right now.

Have a very bad relationship with PIL. Found out a few years ago they hired a private investigator on me. I found out because I overheard a conversation between PIL when they were drunk but they don’t know I’ve heard them.

Over the years since our relationship deteriorated, I’ve had a few cases where they’ve said things they shouldn’t know. I’ve always put it down to coincidence but recently my fil has word for word quoted two of my telephone conversations with my sister and he should have absolutely have no way of knowing any of it. He also got warning “looks” from mil when he said these things.

I can’t speak to anyone IRL about this in case I am being paranoid or I look crazy. If my phone is bugged then a lot of things that have happened over the last few years make sense. Is there anything I can do to find out if someone has access to
Personal information on my phone? Can anyone give me advice on this?

OP posts:
BoomBoomsCousin · 15/01/2019 15:07

canadianbanana I doubt the police would be able to do much unless you had independent evidence to show them it was a likely scenario. They won’t have the skills to do it themselves and would have to send out to an expert - which they aren’t going to do unless there is a compelling case to spend the money.

CanIFindThem · 15/01/2019 15:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manicmij · 15/01/2019 15:48

Get DH out of house, leave phones too and have a conversation about it all. Ask your sister to confirm to your DH the conversation you both had. Surely he must then realise something is going on. If he doesn't comply would have doubts a out his innocence in the matter.

Loyaultemelie · 15/01/2019 15:49

Goodness op you definitely need a professional in to check, it must be more common than you'd think for people to bug homes my good friends ex did this seemingly reasonably easily and tormented her for years before she/we made the connection and got a company in. It was plug sockets and sky dish there

SymphonyofShadows · 15/01/2019 15:52

*READ THE FUCKING THREAD FFS!!

all your ‘original ‘ suggestions have been mentioned ages ago*

^this! And still they come. I don’t know what’s worse, the ‘insightful suggestions days too late, or the pleas for updates. It doesn’t look like OP is going to come back, can’t say I blame her.

Nik122 · 15/01/2019 18:26

I belive you op. What a horrible situation. Really hope you are OK and get this sorted. Do what you think is best, but don't let them get away with this!!! 🌺

CheshireChat · 15/01/2019 22:29

OP, this is MN! People have cried troll when someone uses Cif instead of Zoflora or whatever Grin.

Hope things become nice and boring for you.

Meece · 16/01/2019 20:07

Hope you’re okay OP. Any news?

honeyrider · 18/01/2019 12:22

I hope you've had your home and phone checked. The thoughts of someone eavesdropping on me in my home or phone freaks me out.

Battytwatty · 18/01/2019 15:58

Any update OP ??

Ninabean17 · 19/01/2019 11:39

Any update op? Hope you're OK.

wobblywindows · 19/01/2019 17:51

In case you're still reading this, OP.
1)Your house router will have two passwords: one normal password and one that grants admin rights. You need to change both of those, and if you cannot for some reason change the admin password then get onto your ISP straight away.
2) I would change the house locks / keys as well. Its quite reasonable for them to have copied your dh's key at some point to get themselves (or more likely a PI as he'd be more careful) into the house to do whatever. The visit at the end of February is a fall-back in case their man cannot get access to the property discreetly before then.
2a) I'd consider installing cctv at the front door, with instant upload to the cloud.
3) Get a different phone. Presumably the spy app is on the device, not the sim card?
4) It might be worth a trip to the local police station. They can surely advise on this. I'd be phoning dh on the way to let him know. Nothing wrong with giving fil a quick scare.

Earlier you said they had access to your wifi/ router. BTW Newer routers also have a side button to allow ANY device to access without the need for a password - they could have done this without needing your pc. Turn the router power off (preferably at the wall to simulate a power cut), wait 5 mins and then reboot - this might disconnect it. It's a short leap from having router access to monitoring which webpages you've visited - eg 'parental controls'.

Highonthehill · 19/01/2019 18:18

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

pinkoneblueone · 19/01/2019 19:40

Highonthehill its people like you that will have put her off posting. There is a massive chance that if she has had items bugged they have seen this post and it would make sense that she stays clear of it until they have gotten to the bottom of it

beingbugged · 20/01/2019 09:09

OP - incase you are still reading this, then I agree with wobblywindows comment of "I'd consider installing cctv at the front door, with instant upload to the cloud."

If they have left a bug in the house, then they could well be wanting to remove it, hence the next visit.

with regards to feeling paranoid - totally normal in this situation, and ignore all the troll-hunters on this thread. Some people just can't understand that situations like this do really occur. I hope that you have found some of the people here helpful for you. Obviously when you do have time and reason to update, those of us who do care about your situation, would like to hear from you again to be reassured that you have resolved the situation to a point where you feel comfortable that you are no longer being spied on.

Moondancer73 · 20/01/2019 09:25

Does anyone know if there is actually a law on this?

I believe there is now - I think it's just come in that it's illegal to use spyware on phones, computers etc. Two of my exes put some kind of software on my phone to read my messages - one took inspiration from the other - and would regularly know where I'd been, who I was with, when I hadn't told them even though I had nothing to hide. Please be careful, this all sounds very scary

TheLostTargaryen · 20/01/2019 12:00

Does SIL have a partner? If so, I would make sure he/she is informed about this too. It is very possible that if it is true, the in-laws would be bugging their other child's partner as well.

Good luck OP, I hope you get to the bottom this.

BumbleBeee69 · 21/01/2019 19:18

Has OP disappeared folks Hmm

I hope she is okay Flowers

pinkoneblueone · 21/01/2019 19:40

She said she wouldn't be back due to the attitude some people were giving her 😟

BumbleBeee69 · 21/01/2019 20:00

Oh no that's awful, I missed that update.

I'm over invested in this, because it's very frightening tbh Flowers

thank you pinkoneblueone

Grey18 · 27/01/2019 23:27

I have read through this entire thread and feel incredibly uneasy at the thought of something like this happening so cannot imagine how you and your DH must feel. I hope you resolve this issue and it was just a coincidence because if they have been listening in on you that is so so so creepy.

I hope you find the time to update everyone as myself and others clearly feel quite concerned for you and your family Flowers

Pinchycrab · 11/02/2019 14:01

@Beingspiedon OP I think of this thread often - did you get anywhere?

SurfingGiantess · 11/02/2019 19:49

Me too. I hope she's ok and wasn't spied on. It must be very scary.

babyno5 · 12/02/2019 15:56

I think about this one often too. I really hope everything is ok xx

Boxingmum · 24/03/2019 10:14

Beingspiedon Think about you often, wondering if you ever found out where the bugs were? & how it all went down. Hope your okay x