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Original poster

Phone bugged

404 replies

Beingspiedon · 13/01/2019 07:43

(Posting for traffic) I would really appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me as I don’t even know where to start right now.

Have a very bad relationship with PIL. Found out a few years ago they hired a private investigator on me. I found out because I overheard a conversation between PIL when they were drunk but they don’t know I’ve heard them.

Over the years since our relationship deteriorated, I’ve had a few cases where they’ve said things they shouldn’t know. I’ve always put it down to coincidence but recently my fil has word for word quoted two of my telephone conversations with my sister and he should have absolutely have no way of knowing any of it. He also got warning “looks” from mil when he said these things.

I can’t speak to anyone IRL about this in case I am being paranoid or I look crazy. If my phone is bugged then a lot of things that have happened over the last few years make sense. Is there anything I can do to find out if someone has access to
Personal information on my phone? Can anyone give me advice on this?

OP posts:
Sweetieepea · 15/01/2019 07:52

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mix56 · 15/01/2019 07:53

realistically if they have a spy app on your phone, they will have already read this thread...

Weenurse · 15/01/2019 07:56

I am so sorry you have this in your life.💐

TweedAddict · 15/01/2019 08:04

I bet having a house sweep is going to cost a bomb, if they do find something, I’d send the invoice to pil

CottonTailRabbit · 15/01/2019 08:09

I'd get my own nanny cam. Let them visit. Find out what they access. Then police.

NamedyChangedy · 15/01/2019 08:14

I don't understand why people like Sweetiepea bother to post. Just because something hasn't happened to you before doesn't make it 'unbelievable'. If you can't contribute to the discussion why post anything at all?

thebabysmellsofpooagain · 15/01/2019 08:32

I concur @NamedyChangedy 👍

Shadow1234 · 15/01/2019 08:59

Think someone else mentioned it, but definitely get your car checked as well.

hellsbellsmelons · 15/01/2019 09:03

If you have a local FB page for your area then post on there asking for people who can check phone and sweep house and car.
This is crazy.
I'm so glad you are far away now.
People are fucking weird and crazy at times!

Port1ajazz · 15/01/2019 09:47

Bridgeport , I think I would be inclined to pop into a police station and explain the situation and ask for advice !

Sweetieepea · 15/01/2019 09:50

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Beingspiedon · 15/01/2019 10:08

Hi sweetiepea

why did I allow this to go on so long? - I haven’t. The private investigator was my word against theirs. If you can come up with a way that I can prove it I would actually (very seriously) be grateful because then I can finally say to them stop lying you’ve been caught. It’s a bizarre situation and if I keep insisting they did do this and they keep saying they didn’t and using the are you sure your mental health is ok card then of course I’m going to look crazy. I didn’t ask to be in this situation. The suspecting being bugged was just this weekend and I posted on the weekend.

Why discuss it on an open post? - I didn’t want to discuss it with anyone irl in case (once again) I looked crazy!! I know it sounds crazy. I’ve explained this. There’s part of me that hopes they have seen it so they leave us alone and know what I think of them.

I really don’t care if you don’t believe this is real. But I’m sick of having to defend myself so I’m not posting on this anymore. Just put yourself in my position and think how it actually comes across when you say these things irl - people who know and love you would probably start to look at you a little differently. For what it’s worth I am a regular poster and usually use a different user name I’ve not just made an account for the fun of it! Mumsnet has actually helped me out numerous times.

OP posts:
YetAnotherSpartacus · 15/01/2019 10:12

I do think that many posts are made up for the gratification of the poster and do feel this may be one, or it may not

Then why harp on it? Clearly, it might be possible and even if it was a load of foetid dingoes' kidneys then it's not hurting anyone - as opposed to troll hunting that might.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 15/01/2019 10:17

because then I can finally say to them stop lying you’ve been caught.

Why do you need that, really?

Realistically, they aren't going to then hold their hands up and leave you alone. They're just going to get more subtle. They aren't going to announce that they're also doing X other things but will call it off now.

You and your DH know that they have previously hired a PI on you, that they have quite possibly got a nanny cam or a listening device in a plug, that they are quite unhinged and have a history of invading other peoples privacy. You don't need to prove anything to them; they know what they are doing. There's no brownie points and free ride for pointing out that you've caught them.

I'd get a sweep and go NC, completely. I'd be changing locks and phone numbers, too. If that's not an option, it's worth considering whether it's even worth trying to track everything down. If they are bugging your home, they're not just going to go away when you find it.

They'll always be trying to bug you and you'll always be trying to outwit them.

thebabysmellsofpooagain · 15/01/2019 10:21

@Beingspiedon don't let one person stop you from getting the support you need. Both of this persons comments have been removed by MNHQ so that should tell you even they think the poster is out of line. You have no reason to keep defending yourself, there are plenty of people here that want to support you during this horrendous situation with your in-laws.

Also, your DH clearly thinks the same as you, so maybe you don't sound as crazy as you think you do.................

ThanksThanksThanks

CheekyFuckerHQ · 15/01/2019 10:24

I’m wondering if your SIL maybe wondered if she had been followed/bugged/spies on too.
Good luck OP, I don’t think you’re crazy

hellsbellsmelons · 15/01/2019 10:41

so I’m not posting on this anymore
Ignore the dickheads OP.
You know how MN works.
Take on board the good advice and ignore the twats.
You do NOT have to defend yourself on here.

MumW · 15/01/2019 10:46

This is the an anonymous internet forum so, of course, this could be an invention.

However, there are some really strange people out there with some really wierd ideas and controlling behaviour so it is all perfectly feasible.
We know about the MILs who can't let go, gaslighting partners, etc, etc, add in a bit of technology and this scenario is completely believable.

If the OP is real, then she really needs support and I think it would be a lot kinder to give her the benefit of the doubt. If you don't believe, then that is fine, JUST DON'T COMMENT

thebabysmellsofpooagain · 15/01/2019 11:04

@MumW 👍👍👍👍

Canary123 · 15/01/2019 11:17

Please ignore the troll hunters, we all support you, its perfectly normal to want to be able to call them out with proof without being made to look crazy.

MixedMaritalArts · 15/01/2019 12:04

Trying to collect the physical evidence ? It’s a shame you can’t tin foil wallpaper the hall and mock up a ‘burn’ switch like Mel Gibson in Conspiricy Theory just to see their faces Grin There are some proper control freaks out there, nothing would surprise me tbh. Sounds like MIL might attach electrodes to FIL soft parts for not being able to resist letting you know he’s in the loop and you have no secrets! I hope it’s a lorry battery she uses. Waves to The Fockers !

JamPasty · 15/01/2019 12:41

Definitely ignore the troll hunters OP. Your situation sounds terrifying. I'm glad your DH is onside though. Hugs. Oh, and you are NOT crazy - your in laws are batshit!!

ohfourfoxache · 15/01/2019 12:53

Ignore the troll hunters op - they’re just sad little people who just want to look big. If anyone has any doubts about a thread then it should just be reported to HQ - simples.

Setting up a nanny cam and letting them visit actually sounds like quite a good idea

BumbleBeee69 · 15/01/2019 13:20

I too believe you OP Flowers

canadianbanana · 15/01/2019 14:53

Call the police. They will be able to check your phone with your consent. Second, catch your in-laws. My neighbour has a similar situation, but it was her soon to be ex-husband. She made phone calls to a friend, saying false and outrageous things on purpose. When her husband confronted her, she was able to show police that there was no other way he could have known the fake information without bugging her phone. You aren't being paranoid -- people do these things. Plus, your dh needs to confront his parents about the private investigator and tell them in no uncertain terms that the surveillance (phone or otherwise) has to stop. Why are men always so hesitant to deal with these things? I don't get that. I would be livid if my parents treated my dh that way, and would have no difficulty saying something.