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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Phone bugged

404 replies

Beingspiedon · 13/01/2019 07:43

(Posting for traffic) I would really appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me as I don’t even know where to start right now.

Have a very bad relationship with PIL. Found out a few years ago they hired a private investigator on me. I found out because I overheard a conversation between PIL when they were drunk but they don’t know I’ve heard them.

Over the years since our relationship deteriorated, I’ve had a few cases where they’ve said things they shouldn’t know. I’ve always put it down to coincidence but recently my fil has word for word quoted two of my telephone conversations with my sister and he should have absolutely have no way of knowing any of it. He also got warning “looks” from mil when he said these things.

I can’t speak to anyone IRL about this in case I am being paranoid or I look crazy. If my phone is bugged then a lot of things that have happened over the last few years make sense. Is there anything I can do to find out if someone has access to
Personal information on my phone? Can anyone give me advice on this?

OP posts:
CookieSwirlC · 13/01/2019 08:15

Wayward there the OP’s PIL so no relation to her sister.

ChikiTIKI · 13/01/2019 08:16

They could have bugged the house rather than the phone or had a detective do it. I agree with others, have the house swept and then take it from there.

Sorry you're going through this. Your PIL sound awful.

MoreCheeseDear · 13/01/2019 08:16

There are people who can check for you. It's worth the money to find out the truth. What they are doing, if they are bugging you, is illegal.

WinnerWinnerChickenDinner0 · 13/01/2019 08:18

You could hire a private detective to check your phone and Home for bugging devices

DonkeyScramble · 13/01/2019 08:19

Do a factory reset on your phone, that will remove any spy programme. They would have needed access to your mobile for a few minutes to install anything though. Do you have Android or iPhone? An iPhone would need to be jailbroken for spy software to work properly but it's easier on Android. If Android, scroll through the list of apps in settings and see if any were installed via APK rather than from the play store.

ivykaty44 · 13/01/2019 08:20

I’d have a couple of conversations about the fact you’ve found out your being bugged, then mention the police are ....actually let me jyst go outside then end the conversation

That would drive anyone bugging you to despair 😩

NoParticularPattern · 13/01/2019 08:21

I’d imagine bugging your actual phone is less likely and more complicated than bugging your house. I know you can buy spy cams and listening devices for relatively little and they appear easy enough to install. It’s more the question of how they’ve had the chance to do any of these things without you realising. Did you not question them directly as to how they knew about the conversation? I wouldn’t have been able to help myself if someone had quoted a private conversation that they were t part of or even present for.

ILiveInSalemsLot · 13/01/2019 08:21

Confirm it by having a conversation about something that is totally made up and see if I’m laws bring it up.

WhoWants2Know · 13/01/2019 08:22

If both conversations that they repeated were in your home, it may not be your phone that is bugged.

It's not difficult for someone to email something that looks like spam but has a keylogger attached to it. With that, they can capture your keystrokes as you log in to online mail, etc. They can also turn on webcams and microphones to see and hear what you are up to.

It's creepy as hell, but pretty easy for someone who knows what they are doing.

SuchAToDo · 13/01/2019 08:23

Op if both phone conversations you think they have had access to are on your mobile then it is quite possibly you are being spied on...

There are apps out there that people can secretly download onto the victims phone (they are well hidden almost invisible) and then on the one doing the spying I think they can read text messages, hear calls,..there are some where they can see what you look at online and read your e-mails...and even.some where they can secretly track you..(like that johnny , Liz and jenny situation in coronation Street)

I would get rid of that phone and dh phone and get new phones, even if it's cheap basic phones for £20 or £30 that let you online, call, text , camera etc...it's better than maybe being spied on

And if mil/fil do visit or you visit them....never ever leave your phone for a second...if it's charging and you have to leave the room, take it with you, because if they have installed some kind of spy app it will have happened when you have left your phone somewhere and would have taken there seconds to do...never let them have the chance to do it again...

And once you get new phones chance passwords for everything online (email, social media, banking etc so that if they have been using a spy app to watch everything g you can cut them.off everything)...

Isleepinahedgefund · 13/01/2019 08:23

If it’s in the house they could have placed listening devices, you can get them off the internet quite easily and cheaply and they’re small and discreet. Easily done, maybe even before you moved house if it was an object that you brought with you when you moved,

I’d do a sting as well. Drop in some utterly dreadful news they won’t be able to resist.

DonkeyScramble · 13/01/2019 08:25

Jesus, there's no need to bin your phones! A factory reset will remove any spy app.

NoWayYesPlease · 13/01/2019 08:26

This is absolutely insane. You need to get your phone checked out properly and your house. I would get things checked and see if there's anyway of proving they did it if anything is found. Then go to the police.

Mix56 · 13/01/2019 08:30

if they used a detective once , all they had to do was get him to go to your house & leave bugs, they didn't need to get out of their armchair.
or they may have bugged your H's phone too.
either way, if it is found to be the case you go to the police.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 13/01/2019 08:30

I’d have a couple of conversations about the fact you’ve found out your being bugged, then mention the police are ....actually let me jyst go outside then end the conversation

Snork. Grin

Blobby10 · 13/01/2019 08:30

there are people who can do this and it wouldn’t take your pil much effort to find someone- don’t even need a bug in your phone if you have a smart phone . The security services do it all the time apparently

Beingspiedon · 13/01/2019 08:30

No I didn’t ask him during the conversation. Partly because i thought I was going mad! It’s just not something I thought anyone would do irl more something that happens on tv.

Plus they always have an answer for everything and have previously denied things to my face that we both know are true. This is why we are low contact. I really don’t want them seeing my kids anymore - this is damaging behaviour.

I just wish I had a way of knowing for sure. I’m also wondering if they can get access to what I look at will they be able to see if I’ve posted this? If so hi PIL

OP posts:
Beingspiedon · 13/01/2019 08:32

Mix56 if I could find out for sure I’d definitely go to the police.

OP posts:
BeverlyGoldberg · 13/01/2019 08:32

Bug them right back. You can buy bugging devices relatively cheap on Amazon.

Panicwiththebisto · 13/01/2019 08:33
  1. If it is your mobile that’s bugged can you discuss something “big” only outside the house and see if that elicits some comments.
  1. Is the bugging inside the house somehow connected to your WiFi and can you turn the WiFi off/change password/ change router etc. I know people who have security devices controlled by WiFi that they can monitor via apps on their phones so maybe your in-laws have installed a mic they can monitor.
Beingspiedon · 13/01/2019 08:35

Beverly Goldberg - I have absolutely no interest in bugging them. I don’t have any interest in their conversations or texts or their lives and I can’t believe anyone should have the tome to go through my personal stuff. But I can’t think of another explanation and as I know they’d go as far to hire a private investigator I already know they’d go to great lengths.

OP posts:
InspectorIkmen · 13/01/2019 08:39

How do you remotely bug a phone? Or if it wasn't done like that how did they do it? How would they have bugged your home?

But most importantly of all - WHY? What are they trying to find out about you?

Bekabeech · 13/01/2019 08:42

This could help:
www.lifewire.com/how-to-tell-if-your-phone-is-tapped-4161083

There are lots more advice articles from a quick google search. And advice on what to do.

CoconutQueen · 13/01/2019 08:42

Go to the Police. Definitely. Don't try and set up stings yourself. Police.

Thewifipasswordis · 13/01/2019 08:43

Why is OP pushing pushing the phone bugging angle when the likelyhood of them doing that would be almost impossible. You cannot remotely bug a phone without the OP having downloaded something herself or the phone being rooted anyway ffs. And a listening device wouldnt fit a modern handset 🙄 /would be obvious the phone had been tampered with even if they were technologically minded enough to pay thousands for one small enough.

The likelyhood if anything is they've just stuck a dictaphone somewhere in OPs house or in one of the kids toys. If anything. Or one of those wifi plug extensions that is a recording device 😁

You know... if anything at all Hmm which is unlikely because OP is ignoring everyone's replies pretty much.