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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Phone bugged

404 replies

Beingspiedon · 13/01/2019 07:43

(Posting for traffic) I would really appreciate any help or advice anyone can give me as I don’t even know where to start right now.

Have a very bad relationship with PIL. Found out a few years ago they hired a private investigator on me. I found out because I overheard a conversation between PIL when they were drunk but they don’t know I’ve heard them.

Over the years since our relationship deteriorated, I’ve had a few cases where they’ve said things they shouldn’t know. I’ve always put it down to coincidence but recently my fil has word for word quoted two of my telephone conversations with my sister and he should have absolutely have no way of knowing any of it. He also got warning “looks” from mil when he said these things.

I can’t speak to anyone IRL about this in case I am being paranoid or I look crazy. If my phone is bugged then a lot of things that have happened over the last few years make sense. Is there anything I can do to find out if someone has access to
Personal information on my phone? Can anyone give me advice on this?

OP posts:
peachgreen · 14/01/2019 18:46

@Elderflower84 Indeed. Or his name. PIL are going to need their own private detective agency at this rate.

Yulebealrite · 14/01/2019 18:47

They have previous for bugging their kids. It sounds as if they have access somewhere but how will you find out where, if you don't do the sting?

Hellsbells35 · 14/01/2019 18:50

Are you sure he didn’t just google where your sister was working or look on IMDB. A lot can be found on line and he may have snooped that way

popehilarious · 14/01/2019 18:53

Ahhh yes, of course, he probably found your sister's new work address on the Internet Movie DataBase. Makes sense. Grin Confused

strivingforjustice · 14/01/2019 18:55

babyno5 ... Have looked at your link ... This has terrified me to the core!
5G's going to enable even more!

Bring back my old Nokia from way back when please as I have an ex trying to find me!
I think spyware can be installed surreptitiously through fake email links too!

Trudij123 · 14/01/2019 18:56

OMG. Just when you think it can’t get any weirder, up pop this lot. OP, I really hope you find out soon, this would drive me crazy with worry. :(

babyno5 · 14/01/2019 19:00

Sorry @strivingforjustice don’t have nightmares do sleep well! 😱 xx

Helen1224 · 14/01/2019 19:05

Where's OP gone? Are you ok?!

JustCallMeTheOven · 14/01/2019 19:10

Need an update OP have PIL been in touch by email/text?

Reallyevilmuffin · 14/01/2019 19:11

There was that thing where friends on Facebook only messaged about yachts for like a month and started getting yacht ads.

You could do something similar, if your sister is on board. Talk about weird things like your partner getting circumcised due to you not liking the smell but worrying about the complications perhaps - something odd and specific that DH would not know about and would make them worried enough to act relatively fast or bring it up. You can try a different variation should you wish.

mobyduck · 14/01/2019 19:16

Why would they hire a PI ? What activity have you been up to that would need investigating? A PI costs a lot of money and could not be hired just to tail you 24 hours a day- it would cost thousands.
The PI would need a lead as the type of activity to be investigated.
Is it possible the problem lies with your health?

StoneofDestiny · 14/01/2019 19:22

Is it possible the problem lies with your health?

Her husband has told her similar things happened during his youth. Common denominator appears to be the IL's behaviour, not her health.

Original poster
Beingspiedon · 14/01/2019 19:46

Fil was in touch today about planning a visit. It was a very brief email saying it would be end of feb but dh is going to say no. It makes me think it was probably a coincidence or there would have been more to the email?

Not sure why they hired a pi - can only guess they thought I was having an affair or something like that? Your guess is as good as mine. Not sure to what extent I was “investigated.” Like how long - days or weeks? Was it checks on my background? Was I being followed? Was it to find out about my personal life? I just don’t have the answers. PIL are loaded so money wouldn’t matter.

For those asking about gifts I wouldn’t remember everything they’ve given us or what to look for so we are hiring someone to come in and check and they will also check devices too. No idea what the outcome will be but even if they find nothing it’ll be worth checking (albeit frustrating).

I work during the day so haven’t been able to update this. Sorry about that but that will be the same for the rest of the week as I don’t have time to update! I know a few people have questioned my mental health but the PI i know for absolute CERTAIN so of course there’s a degree of paranoia (although dh agrees with me...). Also if someone genuinely does have mental health problems probably not a good idea to attack them - you don’t know what’s going on in that persons rl.

OP posts:
joanmcc · 14/01/2019 19:49

Possibly a coincidence then, if they thought you were on to them and were looking to remove a bug, they'd be racing around, not waiting 6 weeks.

Pfingstrose · 14/01/2019 20:00

This is horrific!! Who the hell do they think they are?! Just awful on so many levels!

Aprilshowerswontbelong · 14/01/2019 20:03

Make sure you keep your doors locked for the entire of Feb.

GrandmaSteglitszch · 14/01/2019 20:06

Definitely say no to any visit. Who knows what they may be up to.
Do you have security cameras around your property? I think they'd be a good idea.

strivingforjustice · 14/01/2019 20:11

Beingspiedon aah now it makes more sense! They're loaded... do they think you're planning to murder your husband or them for insurance / inheritance! Ok so money no object to them , maximum arrogance and paranoia, do they have an unhealthy relationship with their children.

Definately get a professional in for a bug sweep. Cars, phones and pc's.
I had a detective assigned to me once as my ex was trying to find me and sent his associates to pose as people who knew me to confirm my whereabouts, which back then changed frequently.
He gave my daughter a giant fluffy toy and a few dolls on another occasion, at a supervised child centre visit , the detective told me to get everything checked as it is not uncommon for cameras and bugging devices to be put into gifts etc.
Gosh that's enough to drive anyone insane , a PI with no valid reason.
I would not allow these people in my life def go NC , irrespective of bugging suspicion. They sound deranged.

BumbleBeee69 · 14/01/2019 20:13

OOooohh perhaps they want to remove something they have had placed in your house.. sorry OP I'm probably adding to the hysteria Hmm

I'm glad you have contacted someone to check out everything Flowers

mummmy2017 · 14/01/2019 20:27

Sounds like the batteries are running out on his spybot...
Silly man....

toffeeghirlinatwirl · 14/01/2019 20:32

.

icanbewhatiwant · 14/01/2019 20:32

Gosh...I hope you get to the bottom of this OP.

MooPointCowsOpinion · 14/01/2019 20:38

I will never ever call my MIL a busy body again, this is horrendous! She used to hover outside bedroom doors back in the days of sleepovers when my DH still lived with her, so creepy.

I’d want to move, leave everything behind, disappear in the night and start all over. I can’t get the itchy feeling of being bugged myself off me now!

Elderflower84 · 14/01/2019 20:45

If you do agree to the visit could you set up your own spy cam & leave them alone in the room for a few mins see if they check any particular places?

TriciaH87 · 14/01/2019 20:50

Way i see this you have two options a new ph9ne and number to be safe maybe yours is due a little accident. Else you meet your sister in person and explain you think your going mad but can she please call you when your home ask if your on your own and confront you about something juicy that they wouldn't resist talking to your husband about or confronting you over do so about one thing out the house and another in.